slothy

hi all - my solution

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Dear Stars I am here to serve B) Although any yellowness i may have may be due to jaundice, i try my best to help.. Your obedient servant sloofy

If you are asking whether i was born under one yes i was... sloofy Three wise men came to visit me. Naturally they were hopeless at Bridge

Like any other discipline, whether endplay, trump reduction, etc, the best way to learn squeeze play, as a topic in its own right, is to exploit that learning style which best suits you. I have found that a lot of the literature focuses on the mechanics of squeeze play at the expense of discussing, to a healthy degree, when and when not to adopt it in favour of other potential lines of play, and why to go down the squeeze line rather than any other. Many seem to somehow ignore the defensive ploys of how to break a squeeze up!! Hugh Kesley's book i found to be very educational and seemed to draw a nice balance, but perhaps in the wrong order :P). I have never read Love's book so i wouldnt know. But then again i have deep suspicions for any person who has inherited the surname Love and decides to keep it!!! The BridgeMaster series on BBO, especially 5 and 6, provide a nice interactive session with a few hands dedicated to squeeze play. My learning style is more conducive to this method so i found it rather instructional - I would recommend it to anyone who has a similar learning style. But yet again i think the best way is to draw on various resources. Read about it so you understand the mechanisms, at least the basic ones. No point in trying to execute a squeeze if you have little idea what you doing (unless it's automatic :) ) and WHY YOU DOING IT. Hence the bridge books available. Apply your knowledge* OK so you think you understand them???? Why not practice them on BBO (eg MasterBridge), in a non-threatening environment so that you are not putting yourself under a lot of pressure. If you just read a book say and your first test is in a team game and you think you got it and it turned out to be wrong, it can be quite demoralising.. Implement what you have learnt** Analyse hands where you have gone off or taken a shaky line which you believe didnt look right and see if there was a squeeze which would have allowed you to make or improve your chances of making (eg unnecessary finesse), or even find 100% line. This, of course, may require the co-operation of a more experienced player to recognize the squeeze situation. Kibbitz good players often. If they made a hand on a squeeze, BELIEVE ME, they would be very willing to advertise the fact to the table and to the kibbers ;) Go over the hands and try and understand the thought processes of declarer. ----------------------- * On this note i would like to ask Fred if he would be willing to have a few MasterBridge series concentrating on various play techniques i.e. categorised - like Squeeze Plays, End Plays, etc. i am sure it would drum up a lot of interest ** i am in the process of writing a hand generator and interactive play software for IE, with the aim of using it as a learning tool and focussing on declarer play. If i ever get round to finishing it :P will quite gladly make it available Sloffy

I agree with acky that it will be abused .... The probability of some people showing a photo of themselves is quite low, with some people thinking that if they put a picture of a nubile, voluptuous model they scanned from a magazine they may attract a cohort of men (married and unmarried) to play with them... The scariest thing is that the probability is that more men WILL play with them will increase, which says more about the men who play with her than the woman who uploaded it... At least one 73 year old woman with the beginnings of alopecia will be happy But in principle the idea is good. I like to get a feel of the person i am playing with....Ooops, may be misinterpreted jaja.. and anyway not difficult to guess whether the picture is kosher or not Alex PS the picture of me on de left is genuine :) PPS May i say that not only women would do this. MEN would do it too of course. A lot of men with uncanny resemblances to Brad Pitt will suddenly appear on BBO.

yet another example of why you're my hero :) Alas Jimmy, my child, it is a heavily-tapestried mantle that i have worn with some reluctance, but have done so nonetheless. However, i do understand that lost and misguided souls like yourself do need that spiritual guidance. I can but do my best to save you from the scorching retributive fire of Hell, but i think you may have plunged too deep into the cavernous depths to be granted absolution.... You have been my disciple for some months now. The fact that you are the 13th does make me a bit worried and suspicious. Sloffy

I won my 7 table Howell on Bonfire Nite at my local club with a staggering 57.6%...just thought i would let you all know. Most of the pairs managed to stay awake the whole duration of the evening...

Dear Gerb, Sometimes when people psyche/o you do feel this Hitchcockian desire, especially if the psycher is a woman, to invade her shower and stab her repeatedly - a minimum of about 12 times - with the stereo in the background playing fantastic rhythmical music (wearing a wig is optional).... May i say that, i personally, dont recommend it. And if any children read this thread...DONT do it to Mom!! but yes according to Oxford English Dictionary the definition is:- psyche n. v. : to make a bid in bridge that is unrepresentative of your hand, usually short in a suit bid. Psycher: a person who psyches. (from Polish : psycho ) (actualy made it up but it sounds so kewl) according to Devils Dictionary psyche: to make a bid that is unrepresentative of ones hand. Psychers seek a flurry of congratulations off partner if it pays off and offer humble apologies that they pulled out the wrong card if it back-fires. In the first instance they lose their partner because they are perceived as moronic, in the second instance they lose their partner as they are perceived as liars. Hope that it is illuminating for you Sloffy

With due respect RAIN LOL Very rare indeed where i am put in a position in having to defend what i say on here before i repair my keyboard and return.... just as much as you insinuated i hadnt read any of Bens posts (thank God for mouse-wheels) may i accuse you of not reading (some of) mine in this thread!!! and thus getting an idea of my position as for some sort of open discussion, Gweny's name - either directly or indirectly - has been mentioned over 35 times compared to her (belated and rather relucant it seems ) contribution of 1 post. So before you get annoyed and exasperated you may find you are pointing your missile on an ally rather than an aggressor trying to snipe-shoot people in yellow uniforms Sloffy

Dear All, It seems Ben is trying to arbritrate this thread and not let it get inflammatory. Uday has washed his hands of it and i dont blame him (cant use his quotes as a lead-in now :P ahhh wellll ). With due respect Ece (and i just realised imay be reiterating what Ben said) , and i say this as a friend, there are many occasions where a hotly-debated and over-flagellated topic - no need to mention it by name - seems to unnecessarily resurface. There was no need to bring up the context in which you had this disagreement/ confrontation/whatever-it-was, with a particular yellow, in order to get your point across about the courteous or proper actions of yellows - in contrast to the action of a particular one. As Ben said, that is what @abuse is there for. And on this note, i was happy that Gweny posted to defend herself. IMHO, the thread was, on a subliminal level, erupting into a daemonisation and stigmatisation of her and her behaviour in one (or two) incidents!. If this thread, as Ben tried to point out, REALLY IS about discussing (in as civil a manner as possible B) ) the rights, privileges and conduct of yellows as a GROUP is there really any need to focus on the behaviour of an individual one? Rhetorical question by the way Now i dont really know Gweny other than her insistence of welcoming people to her tourney in over 129 languages B) although i i have had the odd communication with her. But I have to say, as i mentioned above, that there is no need to refer to clubs incident specifically or one yellow in particular if one is wanting to talk about the yellow issue. I dont think it fair or in any way resolves any issue. If you want to talk about the mechanics of squeeze play do you do so by referring to one you executed in 1998?? or specifically to the squeezes of Zia Mahmood (especially when he got one wrong last week :D ) ??

Who the hell is Richard B) Obviously i have been away too long Ben :)

By the way, don't men drool too or was my grandfather just an exception???? and only last week was at the dentist and got an injection in my tooth...i drooled too with half my mouth paralysed (co-workers were happy) ...couldn't breathe in sharply and often enough .... had to change my favorite teddy-bear shirt too :)( Alex

Did someone mention that the Ingliz beat the French ????? :) :P :o :)

I was quite taken by the idea of Uday vacuuming in a global idealistic phenomenon to analogise a rather trivial series of scuffles and bar-room brawls on BBO :) We've been watching this road-map to peace - i hope that it has more chance of resolution than the actual one where the current Head of State has shown sparse willingness to participate in it :) (I could think of no other way to make a contemporary discreet commentary on today's election results :)) thanks Uday for the lead-in. I shall read your posts more carefully in future ) But i do agree with him. It does seem people sometimes come on the forum to 'close ranks' and drum up support for a situation where they feel they have been mistreated or wronged. Perhaps they feel they can get their point across more articulately, dont know.... But i still dont see where it is coming from. I am sure the BBO Management have a more sensitive finger on the pulse of what is happening on BBO than people seem to suggest and give them credit for. If somebody, whether a TD, a yellow or whoever in a position of assumed authority, is behaving in a way that makes a significant number of people question that persons integrity or competence, it would have percolated up to the appropriate people way before it comes here and they will have taken preliminary action before the first post, never mind the salvo of replies, is ever written. To extend the cartographical metaphor (I was gonna mix this metaphor but nahhhh......) ...throwing up smoke-screens and shooting active participants in the foot aint going to get people round the table sooner (especially when a few of 'em have got their foot bandaged and have to hobble to the table :o ) ... and when you got a Roadmap to Peace you got an agenda and something you had wanted to fight for to materialise it: i just dont know what some of these people are fighting for!! If anybody understands what the hell i was getting at in that last paragraph you done better than me :P Alex Zapata

DEar Phil, After a review it was decided that the FOP tourney clashed with the FOA tourney...the person banned from FOP tourney decided to play in the FOA tourney and the director of FOA blamed the director of FOP for banning him from his tourney and thus be free to play in FOA. you see the conflict? Geez Phil do you HAVE to use a bridge metaphor for everything!!!!!

Rehi all, I have decided to come out of semi-retirement...writing posts in the 'Crochet and Cross-stitching' and 'Dental-Flossing Techniques For Domesticated Llamas' forums was never as stimulating and as inspiring as writing here :o Nice to see that time has not mellowed Ben and he is as voluble as ever :) He seems not to subscribe to the old Tuareg proverb 'There is no need to light a cigarette with a blow-torch' :) May he continue to ignore full-stops forever and overlook the virtues of succinctness, amen.... As for being profane and writing sexually im/ex-plicit comments in the lobby as a bannable offence why am I still playing bridge in BBO??? :D Yet again this thread seems to regurgitate the old chestnut about a fallacious contradiction between what an individual perceives as acceptable and what a collective has instantiated as unacceptable and impeachable behaviour - a set of rules that i am sure have been debated and discussed and have been endorsed to satisfy the the 'policing' of a community which is both diverse and ever-growing. Any society, in whatever context it exists, is going to have rules/laws governing how people are expected to behave and if they dont then there is some punitive redress. TO take this further, those people who seem to go as far as to suggest or insinuate that BBO is some sort of virtual Orwellian 'Big Brother' society either havent read the book or confused it with Animal Farm :P I personally do not understand some of the arguments put forward by some people, not only here but in similar threads. I am very sure Gweny was very pragmatic and objective in her decision to ban the person in question, and even if she wasnt* she has been invested with the powers of 'de yellow people' by virtue of her commitment and contribution to this site by those very people who, however dispassionately you view it, have the right to impose whatever they want, assuming they have the majority of the community's interests at heart. * this person still has an appeals procedure (s/he should try living in a few countries in this world where s/he hasnt even got this privilege!) and THIS is to protect the rights of the individual and to perhaps rectify potential errors in judgement made by an enforcer, IF they were made! May i just add that if this person was banned, after a review by other yellows it seems, as s/he says to 2006, then i am QUITE sure it was not for a singular isolated sexist remark!! I have been asked on a couple of occasions to 'tone down' some of my lobby comments. After a warning i did so (well i just switched to Italian he hee), mainly because, on reflection, i acknowledged that what i had said MAY be perceived by some to have been OTT and they have just as much right as me not to have to read as i have to write... There is a fine line between what may be construed as banter by some people and what may be understood as (downright) offensive to others. Further, there is some language, attitude and behaviour that, within the largest part of the social spectrum, is considered to be intolerable. Even more so when one considers that a lot of the BBO community's first language is NOT English and thus the opportunity for misunderstanding increases dramatically. SOMEONE has to take the responsibility of ensuring that a happy medium is reached. I, for one, am not envious of those who have voluntarily decided to wear that mantle. It is a thankless occupation most of the time. Another microfibre, as it were, of this thread is whether Gweny had the rights of a yellow and/or whether she abused her rights as a tourney yellow????? Whatever she is/was or is/was not, whether a kosher yellow or a yellow manqué is something that surely is to be determined by the management and not in a forum!! and allow the appropriate people to take the appropriate action. IF, and only IF, she acted outside her realm of influence then i am sure it would be resolved internally and the side-effects of her action reviewed! Alex

Marc, my friend wiz the really morbid avatar, i would bid 1♥.... as it becomes apparent that that there is a major flaw in Fred's software and it allows an INSUFFICIENT bid... and the opponents are squabbling amongst themselves about how to continue with the penalty.... i shall take a peek at partners hand and bid the full value of our hands at this opportunity. Moral: Dishonesty is the best policing. Alex IBM (Insufficient Bid Mogul)

Dear Marc, I have read your posts in this thread and others with deep concern. Because i regard you as a friend i have decided to try and help you. Please follow these links. Good Luck my (ex) friend Alessio. First Things First Second Things Second (But concentrate on First first) I hope it is wurth it :D May i say, in the words of the great Confucius, after a counselling session he had after he accidently flushed his aquaphobic goldfish down the toilet after it had binged on chocolate and blueberry fish-flakes, "ta-ka mi sha wooo fi-ta-kaaa ibi hwú fu bila minakyaaaaaa-á ti ma bwaaa ne-ta ko" which roughly translated - sorry my understanding of 5 century BC Chinese not what it should be - "He who use fork to cut bread tangles jock-strap with the fishing-net of Japanese sailor" No idea what relevance it has to this post,or anything else for that matter, but it is something you should take on board... Yet again your friend Alex

Well well Ben perhaps the only post in the forum you cant reply to in order to disagree :P very frustrating for you i know... may you have a nice Birthday and drink in moderation...couldnt resist at least one pun :D may you continue to censor uncensurably for many Add Replies to come.... Amen...

Ummm, Dawn finally came to forums then :ph34r: How to learn? I think this can be be rephrased as: How does one learn most effectively. In my opinion, there are two major factors here. This 'philosophy' is, of course, not restricted to bridge. The first is a cumulative one and about attitude. It is more than a coincidence that attitude and altitude are just one letter apart [geez just thought of that, impressive huh :ph34r:] You have to :- a ) Have a passion for the game. If you are not really bothered about improving your bridge, you simply wont or, maybe, it will take much much longer. Impassioned enthusiasm is the biggest gradient enhancer for a learning curve. Many factors play a role here. How you were introduced to the game, whether you are of a certain mentality and migrated from another similar sport, etc. Personally, i was hooked when i attended 3 lessons in 3 days at my local club. I have lived the life of a bridge obsessive-neurotic-card-fetishist ever since. b ) Set yourself goals. You won't become an expert bidder and card-sharp in 2 weeks!! (well it took me 16 days :( ). Set yourself realistic targets and STICK to them, and be flexible as to your next set of goals. This is not easy, as it is difficult to know how you have progressed, and whether to change gear or not. It will help if you have an objective opinion of someone who can make a well-judged assessment of your improvement. From personal experience, i won the National Newcomers, and was told by people who I respected i could: biggest motivator i ever had (i set a goal to win it in 2 years). c ) Be inquisitive; be curious; be a pain in the butt. Hee hee. Asking questions is the only way you gonna get answers!!! At the end of the day the worse thing that can happen is that someone will not answer a question for which you didnt have an answer to yourself. Challenging other peoples' thresholds of patience, within reason, is worth it if it dilates your threshold of understanding. (i'm on a roll, don't stop me.....) The bright side is that there are other people out there who would be more responsive; the dark side is having to remember a cohort of people whose patience you have exhausted. d ) Be humble and be willing to make mistakes, coz you will make them, and make them again, whether you want to or not. Keep one ear open to valuable lessons genuinely offered, keep the other closed to abject criticism and ego-mongering. Unfortunately, there are some people who like others to be aware that they know better, irrespective of whether you will too. De-wax your ears frequently. e ) Combine theory, practice and fun. Can't stress this strongly enough. There is no better catalyst to improving your game than doing something (practice) and being aware of why you are doing it (theory) and enjoy doing it(fun). Take out one of these elements and the expression doesnt factorise, buddy. In essence read as much as you can (theory), and read it again and again if necessary until you understand the underlying principle. Play as often as you can( practice) and see each board as a potential lesson. More often than not, there is a fundamental one that you have easily overlooked. Play with the right people at the right time with the right motives. A lesson is well-remembered if given with a smile on your face. And it is scientifically proven that your partner plays better if s/he can see your teeth. f ) For male players only. Never play with a woman with a well-endowed chest. You become presented with 2 Weapons of Mass Distraction. ----- The second is about exploiting the learning method that is best for you. We all have different ways of learning, or learning most effectively. Personally, i learn best visually. So, going through the BBO online hands in Masterbridge suits my style perfectly. I then back it up with reading something if necessary. Some people like to get their hands dirty straight away. Thats OK but it normally requires having a mentor wishing to run alongside you. Some people like to read books. Thats OK too, but at one time or another you got to sit at a table and apply it;) ------- For those people for whom this advice doesnt rub, may i offer a few other suggestions. A ) Buy your partner a mirror, 30 cm by 30 cm, to wear as a medallion on the evenings you are playing bridge.... B ) Play with a partner much better than you. Further, and this is important, either (i) marry him/her or ii) have a love-child if you are unfortunately already married (and have a Roman Catholic upbringing). In (i) he has no option; in (ii), you give him the option of bridge lessons or crippling Child Support. Hope this has been useful. Alex. PS I have contacted my lawyer and hereby am not responsible for the actions of people who take my advice of B ).

John Doe???? Never heard of him. Isn't it a coincidence that all TDs have the same name too..????? ;)

He does Mike, Remind me, when is your Birthday again? Alex, Halo-adorned

Hi all, I started playing Multi a few years back, and combining it with Lucas/ Muiderberg/ whatever-you-want-to-call-it, I found it an indispensible part of my bidding set that i very rarely play any other conflicting conventions, having a weak-orientated, aggressive style (in competition and openings, with a 'get-your-hand-off-your- chest' approach) and the fact that cumbersome hard-to-bid weak hands come up more often than cumbersome hard-to-bid strong hands. However, one night about 7 months ago, playing in an important team match (which we lost coz of following 4 boards :D) , we got 3 bad scores, and lost a potential slam swing, on the trot on hands that involved Multi-openings!!! In 2 of the cases, both involving the weak major follow-up, the hand was wrong- sided and the lead came through tenace holding of the strong hand. In the other 2, involving slam bidding, we missed a slam and on the other, more out of ill-fated frustration than good bidding B), my p bid a slam hoping for a particular distribution (would have made had I a single ♣ rather than a single ♦). We were playing a rather simple response, showing either the lower end or upper end of the weak 2, as i am sure many play (or inverted)... So 2♦ - 2NT - 3♣/3♦ showed higher end of Multi for ♥ & ♠ and 2♦ - 2NT - 3♥/3♠ showed lower end of Multi. In the first 2 cases described above, my p rightly passed a 3♥ bid and raised me to 4♠ after 3♠ on another, after i had showed the weak end. But i was declarer, with the weak hand, and the contract was doomed on the lead, the lead coming though the tenace holding in dummy which would have otherwise been protected. So, we thought about coming up with a simple transfer and relay system to avoid this (in some cases unavoidable but more often than not right sided) - basically ensuring that the contract was right-sided. I am not sure whether there are any other similar system 'add-ons' like this in play at the moment (if there is would like to know :) ), but we have played it for a while now with very few hiccups, continuously modifying it, and, in a few instances, notable successes, with one bidding sequence prompting our opponent, an ex-England player, to email him the sub-system :) . What i would like is for people to comment on it and see if it can be improved on or if it has any merit at all :blink: So FYI, Multi is either weak 2 or 19-20 balanced. All sequences assume a weak Multi opening with a 2NT enquiry. Possible auctions over 2♦ - 2NT: 3NT : strong 19-20. With a lower end of multi, (5-7) responder is transfered directly to your suit. 3♦ = transfer to ♥ 3♥ = transfer to ♠ Responder now knows the score and the suit so bids accordingly, bidding 3 as a shut out or breaks transfer to glean me. In 'normal' system i would have had to bid the suit in question and it could be/is wrong-sided (NB even if you play it the other way round ie 3♥ shows stronger end, you could be in a non-making game as it is yet again wrong-sided) The stronger end is puppeted to 3 ♣, showing higher end of either major. Benefit of this is that responder immediately knows you have strong end (of course doesnt know yet which suit i have :D ...read on) 3♣ - 3♦ 3♦ is now a further enquiry asking me to show my major and i bid the one i havent got. So Seq 1. 3♣(1) - 3♦(2) 3♥(3) Seq 2. 3♣(1) - 3♦(2) 3♠(4) (1) upper end of multi (either major) (2) whats your suit? (3) weak 2 in ♠ (4) weak 2 in ♥ 3♣ - 3♥ is either to pass or correct. He obviously has a hand where, had i got ♠ would want to be in game and is worried about ♥ and 4♥ may be too high. (if not he would bid 3♦ over 3♣). One benefit is that the 3 ♠ over 2NT bid is now released as well. This is used to specify an unspecified singelton and good trumps (as yet unspecified!! could be ♥ or ♠). I have to rush now :) [this editing took longer than i thought] but this is the rudiments of the system. The first thing people say, quite justifiably, is "well how do you know which suit partner has?". Good question :). However, some times on certain auctions it is fairly obvious and we havent played in a 2-2 fit yet :D The auction imentioned that got to us to a slam (bid by the way with a 100% confidence) is as follows, to give you an idea how i think it gains. 2♦ - 2NT 3♠(1) - 4♣(2) 4♥(3) - 4NT(4) 5♦(5) - 5NT(6) 6♣(7) - 7♠(8) NOW :)) this shows the following. (1) : weak 6 card major, *EITHER* major, upper end unspecified singleton. (2) : enquiry (3) : singleton same color as 6 card major. (4♦ is different color singleton) (4) : further enquiry (5) : 6-4-2-1 (5♣= 6-3-3-1) (6) : further enquiry (he still doesnt know my suit :) 5 ♥ would be to pass or correct) (7) : black singleton (hence spades cos of (3) and as i cant have 4 ♥ he knows i am EXACTLY 6-2-4-1. Out of 21 pairs, we ONLY pair in 7♠, 5 in 6♠ and and the other 14 in either 4 or 5 ♠. Will follow it up later. Alex

Io Gemmello??? E impossibile....non é un altro uomo tanto bello quanto me :rolleyes: :D :D (...e modesto naturalmente) Alessandro :)