slothy

You wanna give him an incentive????

Well Ron, with a bit of luck she wont be sleeping all the time :P :D :) Alex

I'll start with Anna Kournikova. Although she knows nothing about bridge would love teaching her how to squeeze: not much chance of an 'elopement' on a desert island though :D On second thoughts, she might even improve my back-hand. Could even instruct her on how to put the tennis-balls in those invisible pockets they have in their skirt more effectively... PS Those voices get me every time too Mike :unsure: the problem with the voices i hear is that the person who says them has a stutter, so i never understand them :P

For anybody remotely interested, put a hand in Interesting Bridge Hands 'Thursday Nite At The Club' that involves end play... End Play Hand Dont bank on it Mike :D

[hv=d=e&v=b&n=s984hj854da943ca4&w=sk32hqt62dj62ck76&e=sqjha93dkt75cqj52&s=sat765hk7dq8ct983]399|300|Scoring: MP[/hv] Since no one bothered to put forward their opinion, :D besides Ben and a non-commital nudge from Mike shall say how i played it. E took opening Lead of 6 ♥ with A ♥ and quickly switched to Q ♠. I ducked and took the J continuation with A. I figured that i need a 3-2 trump break and the inability of opps to play a third round before i ruffed a ♣. Decided to play E for QJ or Qx of trumps. If i took A first round hoping for blockage will certainly get a ♦ though dummy if W gains lead, which would scupper my plan of endplaying E. I visualised an ending where i can strip E of exit cards and put him in with a ♣ and thus be forced to open ♦s. If he has the K ♦ we take 2 ♦s. i now led T of ♣ playing E for at least 2 top ♣ honors. Cannot let W get in before dummy bereft of ♣. W played low and i ducked in dummy. Does not gain for W to cover T; i just take A and play small. He never gets in having 1 card above T. West won with J and returned ♥. I won with K and played a small ♣ to A. ruffed a ♥ to hand, ruffed a ♣ (Ws K falling) and ruffed another ♥, E discarding a ♦. The defence have won a ♠, ♥ and a ♣. I had won: ♠ ♥ ♣, ♣ ruff and 2 ♥ ruffs. Hands are now:- [hv=d=e&v=b&n=s984hj854da943ca4&w=sk32hqt62dj62ck76&e=sqjha93dkt75cqj52&s=sat765hk7dq8ct983]399|300|Scoring: MP[/hv] I exited with a ♣ and on fall of cards contract is guaranteed. I discard ♦ from dummy and E is end played, forcing to play a ♦ away from the K. It does West no good neither to ruff with K to avoid ps end play embarrassment as he is ruffing with a boss trump.

No

Reminds me of a bridge drive i was playing in local club when i just started playing bridge. Partner opens 5NT and i alert it having no idea what it meant. Opp looked at bid and asks me if this a convention. At which point i said "Well, yes but i have no idea what it means" The other opp looks at my p and says very "What do you expect him to say to this ummmm bid" He looked at her and said "Depends. If i make it i expect him to say 'Hi, Barman, a lager for me and a double celebratory scotch for my p" In fact p had thought his RHO had opened 1 ♥ and he had - - QJ98xxx KJ98xx and was making in his words a super unusual NT. Well it got passed out and i bet you can guess what my hand was cant you <_<((

Just noticed something... A lot of people have found themselves on this desert island!!!!! (Aisha's mine by the way guys. Ordered the 2 person tent on-line already oops just cancelled the second sleeping-bag: superfluous ) The way it going enough people for a 5 table Swiss: we could inaugurate the Swiss Family Robinson Trophy?? Alex

I noticed that if you buy BRIDGE WITH BRUNNER from Amazon, you get the book FAMOUS OXYMORONS IN MIND SPORTS for half price. Worth getting.

He broke professional confidentiality when he said he had to cut down sessions wiz me as there was a client (named Mike) who needed more urgent attention Alex :lol:

Ok, May i say that, after innumerable sessions with my psychiatrist, i have turned over a new leaf and am taking my posts in this Venerable Forum seriously, as Mike pointed out. Hence, i shall give this question the seriousness it deserves. As for the Ottlik-Kelsey collaboration i agree with everything you said, Ben. I started reading it a few years back but put it to one side purposefully for a day when i would be able to read it more profitably. A truly admirable achievement and one that deserves a concentrated study to appreciate the true essence of top-class bridge card technique. To me it is the 'Anna Karenina' of the bridge literature (assuming people appreciate an overdramatised story of the death of a Russian aristocratic nymphomaniac and home-breaker as a classic :rolleyes: ). My books?? Well if i was on a desert island i doubt i would have bridge books :lol: I would choose the books that would have the most practical value for me being stranded on a desert island:- 1) 'Learn To Climb Glaciers in 4 and a half Weeks' By I.C.Nostrils 2) 'Sexual Gratification For People Stranded on Desert Islands' (4th Edition) By Hands Solo 3) 'The Feng Shui Of Sand-castle Engineering' By Sandy Bucket If i was given the choice of a 4th it would have to be the Carnegie sequel, a classic of its genre, "How To Make Friends (With Cannibalistic Natives) And Influence People (Not To Eat You)" By D. Carnegie Anyway, chances are Aisha will have to come and deliver them so we would have no time for books and such things.... I am sure people would agree that these choices would be of immense practical value. Hope that to your satisfaction. Yours Sceptically, Alex

If i have basically re-submitted a topic that has been discussed and mooted and flogged to death already b4 i apologise in advance I just submitted a post this week in dis forum about a hand i played earlier - my first to date and not my last, i hope - this week and was a bit lost when it came to putting in a bidding sequence as part of the hand presentation. I was aware that i could manually enter a bidding sequence in the right-hand box but was wondering whether there was a pre-formatting feature to do this (looking at the existing menu entries this seems not to be the case). Now before people roll their eyes :rolleyes: :lol: ..... i know there was a (couple of) thread(s) placed in here some time ago....only thing i remember about it is Gerardo & Ben responding to it about the Fullhand feature and updates Gerardo was making/wanted to make etc... In my rather fruitless attempt to find it using search i also came across a few posts where people had shown a snap-shot of cards played as well as a self-constructed bidding panel in the box.., with various degrees of 'pretty printing'. Some got it just right and some filled it so it was jagged and very difficult to read (I include myself in latter category). So was wondering:- 1) Would it be possible to extend the fullhand template to include boxes on the right for what is, more often than not, a common and sometimes mandatory part of a play/bidding problem?? a ) Bidding panel. Bids can be inputted in a logical and natural sequence with a one-click facility (as exists already for suit symbols in normal post) for suits, numbers (1 to 7 obviously ;) ) and X and XX (including colour-coding for X and XX) b ) Cards Played Panel. Which will include same as bidding but one click facility for 8,9,T,J,Q,K,A The Symbols for Bidding and Cards Played can be just put on to one 'click panel' as one assumes the two would be integrated. Of course, you may not want a bidding sequence or cards played facility so there inclusion could be determined by a check-box. When the post is generated (like Full Hand is done now) i assume formatting can be done so the bids and cards played can be 'pretty-printed'. I did this myself in DHTML about 6 months ago (cant find the HTML files unfortunately :( using combo of HTML and Javascript) and it worked a treat (ie nicely aligned and easy-to-read) . Just wondered if it were possible to include a similar feature here??? Alex

Obviously poor whereagles not paying much attention to how he spells names of authors :D

Q ♠ true card Ben

A new radical theory that has shaken the very foundations of the Genetic Academia. New Scientist magazine has come up with a theory that will make the BBO Forum Fraternity gawp Common Ancestors At the beginning Species: Pongo abelii http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/orangutan.jpg 7 million years Species: Homo QuasiErectus http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/caveman.jpg Hollywood Era (1928 A.D) PreTalkie Era (c. 1932) Species: Homo Hilarius http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/chaplin.jpg PostTalkie Era (c. 1997) Species: Homo TriHominusEtBambinus http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/tomselleck.jpg In 2004, after an unknown phenomenon, the evolutionary lines diverged. Are these sub-species related????? Sub Species:Homo MishoVarnus http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/misho.jpg Peculiar Traits: Shy creature, tending to remain [invisible] when he comes into contact with other animals in a social environment. Advances: Uses relay systems. Has difficulty in accepting that commonly used tools have sufficiently evolved to exploit the foolish behaviour of other (not listed)sub-species. Sub Species:Homo Chamacus http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/chamaco.jpg Peculiar Traits: Outspoken, inquisitive creature, seen wandering around forums foraging for unreplied posts. Advances: Last Train enthusiast. Although believed to have survived for centuries in the rugged ecosystem of Tuscany, now believed to be undergoing a potential migration to Clarkesville. Sub Species:Homo Tepidus aka Lukewarmus http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/lukewarm.gif Peculiar Traits: Geographical spread unknown. Nocturnal creature that haunts various forums for unsuspecting hosts to innoculate own DNA and take over a thread completely. Advances: Cunningly deceptive, able to hide mutational defects well. Doesnt mind doing anything as long as it is against the ethics of ACBL :D Further research has projected that either of these lineages may evolve into a fairly advanced form of Homo species that averages 87.6% in bridge MP tourneys Sub Species :Homo AstralNavigatus c.2360 http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/riker.jpg Peculiar traits: After having Deep Finesse hard-wired into his brain, able to declare hands at near perfection. However, after being mistakedly hard-wired with a run-of-the-mill bidding program as well always seems to end up in pathetically wrong contracts. However, if a transglobal radiation leakage from a world power station takes place in the year 2087 as predicted, unless the world changes course, the evolutionary pathway may take a radical U-Turn to Sub Species :Homo Homera Rectumosculatus http://www.positive-images.org.uk/alex/homer.jpg Peculiar Traits: Low self-esteem and dysfunctional family makes bridge a game of the past. Struggles with any card game where the number of cards in his hand involves multiple digits. Wanders aimlessly around forums trying to find a join-the-dots Java application. Advances: Sees bridge as a crime against Humanity. Pushes Congress to have the words 'end play', 'double squeeze' and 'obligatory false card' removed from the dictionary. Also tempts them to make it illegal to play with ones spouse and spend more than 18 minutes on the phone or on email explaining to your bridge partner how you made a 21 point 3NT.

Yup Ben Whilst you ruminate over it...there was an explanation somewhere about putting bidding panel in Full hand records. any chance of a link buddy?

[hv=d=e&v=b&n=s98xhjxxxdaxxxcax&s=satxxxhkxdqxct98x]133|200|Scoring: MP RHO- Me -- LHO - Partner (1♣) - 1♠ - (DBL) - Pass (1NT) - Pass - Pass - 2♠ all pass [/hv] Contract: 2♠ By South Never used the Hand Generator b4 and wanted to try it out. :P ---- This hand came up ummm last Thursday nite at local bridge drive duplicate. Was intrigued to see how people would play it. (havent worked out how to include bidding sequence yet so any help appreciated :P) ---- East opened a ♣ playing a strong ♦ system (invariably shows a weak NT opening :lol: ) and you put your oar in with 1 ♠ LHO X showing 7+ points and (on p asking most likely 4+ ♥), opener rebids 1NT and your p bids 2♠ ending the auction. ---- LHO leads 6 ♥ (3rd and 5th) to his partners A ♥ who switches to Q ♠ How would you play the hand henceforth? Alex

Just a thought...would we have a choice between Fred & Sheri ? :P :lol:

Dear Chamaco et Rest Of Ze Wurld, Before i continue where i left off.... Just to clear a minor point up....In case you thought i was referring to you (which i wholeheatedly was hee hee ..just joking) i would classify you quite unashamedly as If this description, Chamaco, in any way undermines your macho, "bash-'em-over-the head" credibility in the forum please send me a Personal Message and i will make a point of re-highlighting it in red :P :D jajaja My main irritation was with other people (not necessarily in this thread), and for them to remain nameless, who, I believe, express themselves in such a way that they think they know better and have answers for everything and ooze a sense of superciliousness that makes me wanna projectile vomit. (I dont do so only because i have a new monitor and my stock of screen-wipes is running low.) I don't care whether it is their command of English or otherwise which they use as an excuse: there is a way of discussing and projecting criticism (and vomit hee hee) in such a way that it gets listened to by those who may gain by doing so and, frankly, there are other ways in which it, quite justifiably, gets ignored by the 'powers-that-be' as it comes over as offensive, ill-thought-out and more about having one's own voice heard rather then about having what one wrote actioned. Anyway, that my gripe for the day. (well, it ain't over yet, so who knows?) As you started the thread, you may have thought i was directing that particular comment at you. I wasn't. (that doesnt mean that in a future thread my opinion may change :lol: ) Anyway, back to the battle-field.. Uff my lunch-break at work :P(( STILL havent posted what i wanted to write but just wanted to clear that up :D Alex

Hi Guys & Gals, I feel i have an insatiable itch to comment here :o. This, by the way, impinges not only on the dynamics of VuGraph commentary, but on other things that have been discussed in this forum, with a few people having particularly strong views about what people EXPECT and what people believe they have some right not to have to tolerate or be subjected to, and one of the reasons why my posting-rate has dropped (besides being busier than usual :ph34r: ) I find it difficult to appreciate what the actual complaint is, however legitimately they are expressing it: people seem to want to suggest that they are NOT complaining but, in my mind, there is a distinct and tangible undercurrent of dissatisfaction advocated by some people with the status quo; some more vociferous than others and others just wanting to point out nicely and diplomatically recommendations for improvement of what they see as not up to scratch. And if there is a dissatisfaction, what proposal do people have for its resolution??? This to me is the hardest rub!! Dwayne's proposal (the best in my opinion)? I will try to put this in context: The other week, i had my first 5th Chair mentoring session. It was extremely difficult to: 1) concentrate on the game at hand AS WELL AS 2) attempt to provide some sort of meaningful real-time dialogue as to the bidding - before the hand was played- and to the play of the hand as the hand progressed AS WELL AS 3) have to reply to a few messages sent to me by friends during the session. What was even more challenging was that i felt there was a certain level of expectation on my part to provide it. Luckily, more because of the character, and her insistence, of my mentee than anything else, the pressure on me to fulfil this commentatorial function eased and I was made to feel more comfortable expressing myself, alongside peppering it with perhaps worthwhile comments, and this, hopefully made it more enjoyable, more fun and perhaps anything that i did say that had some instructional merit stood out more: more because there was less pressure on me rather than her feeling that she was learning less!!!!. As to whether it was more instructional than if we hadnt 'changed tack' (or whether it was instructional at all hee hee) is another matter. OK, now take this scenario above and EXPLODE it exponentially: SUDDENLY 1)You dont have an audience of ONE but ONE THOUSAND. 2)You are not the sole commentator but competing for window space with 4 other people. You start writing something and another person writes what you are in the process of writing (grrrr). The pressure to say something is there e.g. the 'I've started so i'll finish' syndrome. 3) You have a small posse of ego-bloated people in the audience who contradict an analytical comment you made in good faith and want you to know you are wrong, and insist that you have acknowledged their amazing and wise insight. 4) You are not teaching someone a system you are familiar with but are commenting on one, or a couple, of systems that you may only have a cursory appreciation of and are inscribed in a system portfolio that has more chapters than the Bible. 5) The level of expectation and technical merit of what you are writing is under constant scrutiny. I am basically paraphrasing what Uday said in his post just perhaps a bit more dramatically. (so you can point the finger at him if you disagree with what i am saying :P ) Taking these 'pressures' above, you want: 1) the commentators to be focussed 2) fully alert 3) not make aside comments (or only when it is 'fit') 4) make meaningful and insightful comments about strategy and recommended lines of play 'on the fly' (not forgetting that a human can only bash the keyboard so many times a minute [never mind trying to find where the 'y' is on the keyboard] and the cards are played at a pace that may make a particular comment subsequently obselete and irrelevant) 5) predict the bidding sequence and play of the cards at the expense of being pilloried if they get it wrong??? AND for people who are doing this voluntarily and in their own time????? For those who want to complain: I think you should try it. In fact offer your services to 5th Chair and, IMVHO, you will soon change your tune. As for the coke comments :( that my next point. But not now gotta run. Alex

....Pero bella..... Quando sono stato in Roma... sono sicuro che sentivi la mia presenza.... Siamo restati per una settimana, abbiamo preso un cappiccioccio colla Popa e siamo andati via a Malta :o) il klub é stato CHUISO!!! Devi leggere il forum pui spesso :P) A presto Alessandrooooo PS Perché mi chiami ale??? non hai un x sul keyboard? :ph34r:

Just realised, it ain't a zit, its me mouth :blink: :D Hopefully its infection will clear quickly

Yes Misho ;) The only major new adornment i have on my face is a temporary (I hope!!!) zit just below my right nostril....

You may have forgotten your Birthday, Mishi, but we wont :) Beware of saying your cup is half full.... as you get older, lose your teeth and your hands start to tremble.... when you drink you start to slurp your drink and dribble more....tends to empty it faster

Wow, benone Vincenzo.... Nella stessa strada della progetta per la traduzione....penso che abbiamo bisogno di spegiazioni delle sisteme popularie, specialmente per le coppie improvvisate, che sono utillizzate nelle paese dové le lingue sono native. Spero che gli alti representativi dell' altre lingue ti siguono. Per esempio, credo che i polacchi hanno una descrizione della sistema polacca tanta completa sul loro sito. Bravo :huh: Alex