sceptic

easy this one, you are going to walk away with either 2500 or 10000, you will not walk away with 5000 unless that is an amount of money that would make a difference to your life I would think this is a pshycological issue not a maths one

[hv=d=s&v=e&n=skt832hq52dk97c32&w=s75haj93datcakq74&e=s4h8764d532cjt986&s=saqj96hktdqj864c5]399|300|Scoring: IMP[/hv] West North East South - - - 1♠ Dbl 2♠ Pass 3♠ Dbl Pass Pass Pass DA D7 D2 D4 DT D9 D3 DQ SA S5 S2 S4 SQ S7 S3 H4 D6 C7 DK D5 C2 C8 C5 C4 H8 HK HA H2

In a message dated 7/2/2007 11:55:13 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, Dandan8704 writes: 1. On a congested flight while boarding, the Flight Attendant announced, >"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get >in it! > > > >2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the >pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will >be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance >the appearance of your flight attendants." > > > >3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your >belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's >something we'd like to have. " > > > >4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways >out of this airplane" > > > >5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed >giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." > > > >6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone >voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella......... WHOA!" > > > >7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a >flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when >opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure >as hell everything has shifted." > > > >8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight >245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the >buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if > you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public >unsupervised." > > > >9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend >from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your >face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before >assisting with theirs." > > > >10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but >we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember - >nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." > > > >11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an >emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our >compliments." > > > >12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. >Anythi n g left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight >attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for that >gentleman over there." > > > >13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is >pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. >Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!" > > > >14 Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake >City - The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite >a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't >the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight >attendant's fault, it was the asphalt." > > > >15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a >particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Ca pt ain >was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight >Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain >in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's >left of our airplane to the gate!" > > > >16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We >ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the >terminal." > > > >17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered >his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which >required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers >exited, smile, and giv e them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said >that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the >passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart c omm ent. >Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a >cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, >Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we >land, or were we shot down?" > > > >18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on >with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash >and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the >gate And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are >silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the >wreckage to the terminal." > > > >19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank >you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane >urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressur ized metal tube, we hope >you'll think of US Airways." > > > >20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - "Ladies and gentlemen, if you >wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if >you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em." > > > >21 A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a >comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the >intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to >Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead >is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now >sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" > > > >. . . Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on >the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you >earlier. While I was t alki ng to you, the flight attendant accidentally >spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my >pants!" > > > >A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine

I voted both, as I have probably bid North hands and south hands similarly over the years and got my self in some amusing positions, I would like to crawl out of but can't

unfortunately Mike, you may have been there to see them all play, some of us do not have that advantage :)

actually it was Dr Todd and foobar, I was watching at the time, it was just some of the results I saw that made me curious, the thing I saw was, bidding seems to go well for them, some of the time and disasterously other times, the opps had missed totally some contracts they should be in, I was just curious as to how this ruins (my perception) of being able to count and take inferences at the table in the play or defence or is this something you accept and just concentrate on bidding your favorite pet system?

Hi Can someone explain what fun it is playing weird systems against pick up pards in the main bridge lounge, when there opps have no idea how to play against the system. I realise that the opps choose to sit at the table, maybe curiosity gets the better of them, but surely if you play something like forcing pass system, you would want to only allow people of a standard that know the system, so that you get a decent game, it can't be much fun beating up opps who have no idea what they are doing especially if the bids you make are not what is showing by the FD description (this is not a personal attack on the two forum experts who post here, I just am curious why you would not want to play that system against expert opps that know what they are doing

How if at all does making a take out double differ if opps open a short club,

also given that the numbers you chose from are sequential rather than random, does this have any bearing on the test

do you take into consideration that No 13 is unlucky in some cultures and may be avoided deliberately or like myself chosen for the reason it was my birthday and that prompted my first choice, the same with Number 7 in China (I think)

I would bid 1NT so the second option is not there for me

mike why is 2 nt such a bad bid, I thought it would show no 3 card spade amd no 4 card heart support and is temporising, as your 2 club bid could be with a fake suit and you are waiting further info? is bidding NT with no diamond stopper such a sin? as there are so many other ways to show 4 card support (I play reverse bergen, when my p agrees to it) so 2nt denies 3 card support and does not guarentee stoopers everywhere, it is just looking for best fit I realise, reverse bergen may not be part of this discussion, which is why I am very interested in this thread and the meaning of the 2 spade bid as I play 2/1 wih lots of pick ups and maybe it is an area I get wrong and why so many desert me LOL

Adam would this not show long clubs and lond diamonds (poss) 5/5 (as you would make the 2/1 GF with 2 diamonds rather than 2 clubs), then denying 3 card support for spades or even 2 card support as the chances are you have a splinter bid over 1 spade opener? (unless you have a mega strong hand) also could it show a void in spades?

get PC Clayton to teach you, I have seen him do a few sessions years ago and he is excellent

I thought 2 spades just agrees trumps at the lowest level, and as you are in a game force you can cue bid to where you need to be. I cant seee an advantage of using 3 spades unless it is to deny a card suitable to cue bid (I could be talking out my back side here) but then you can bid 4 spades if you want to stop the auction, so I would think you would have to create yor own meaning for the bid

10 out of 10 Helene

Dear Brian, >> >> Maybe you can help us with this problem. >> >> We have a huge council house in our street. The >> extended family living there is run by a grumpy old >> woman with a pack of fierce dogs. >> Her car isn't taxed or insured, and doesn't even have >> a number plate, but the police refuse to do anything. >> Her bad tempered husband is notorious for upsetting >> foreigners with racist comments. A shopkeeper blames >> him for ordering the murder of his son's wife, but >> nothing has been done about it. >> All their kids have broken marriages except the >> youngest, who everyone assumed to be gay. >> Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are >> regularly seen staggering drunk from nightclubs in the >> early hours of the morning. >> The family's antisocial antics are always in the >> papers bringing disrepute to the area. >> This family is totally out of control.

1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp) 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping) 3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) 4. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) 5. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.) 6. My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers) 7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) 8. "How About Friday?" My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists) 9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division) 10. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division) 11. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.) 12. Speaking the Same Language: As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for "perverts" (pedophilia?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired - and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary, and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation) 13. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo from a large communications company: "(Company name) is endeavorily determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supersede, the expectations of quality!" (Lucent Technologies)

[hv=d=e&v=a&n=sk952hj84d985cj82&w=st7hak92dkq762cq7&e=saj864hqt53dacak5&s=sq3h76djt43ct9643]399|300|Scoring: IMP[/hv] West North East South - - 1♠ Pass 2♦ Pass 2♥ Pass 3♥ Pass 4NT Pass 5♥ Pass 5NT Pass 6♦ Pass 6♥ Pass Pass Pass CT CQ C2 C5 HA H4 H3 H6 HK H8 H5 H7 H2 HJ HQ C4 DA D3 D2 D5 CA C3 C7 C8 CK C6 D6 CJ S4 S3 ST SK D8 S6 D4 DK DQ D9 SJ DT D7 S2 HT DJ SA SQ S7 S5 S8 C9 H9 S9 we were playing 2/1

buy counting at bridge it is available in the BBO shop and it is excellent and try the bridgemaster programs on BBO (these are free to use there are 6 examples of 5 different levels when you get in BBO go to "Other Bridge Activities" then click "Bridge Master 2000 - The Key to better bridge" try the bridge master deals first as it is free and you will find the detail in the analysis is excellent, if you like them you can buy other hands to try for $10 which is very good value then read some books if you see me online, I can walk you through how to find it and use it

what I find offensive about this previous post, is the woman was having twins

Hm, does not seem that far fetched

(barring something like chemical castration), manual castration with a blunt knife would be a more popular method

I am sure it is showing control in Hearts

[hv=d=e&v=a&n=skj2hk8dkq962ca83&w=sqt63h76dt5ckj754&e=sa854hajt432d8ct9&s=s97hq95daj743cq62]399|300|Scoring: IMP[/hv] West North East South - - 1♥ Pass 1♠ 1NT 2♠ 3♦ Pass Pass Pass 1/. 1NT ? 2/. shoudl I bid 3NT after 3 diamonds and if not why not?