mtvesuvius
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Everything posted by mtvesuvius
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Idiot (adj.) See: BBO Expert
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Flannery (n.) A brilliant invention that allows the missing of even more slams than usual. It is also known for the ability to wind up playing 2♦ in 2-2 fits.
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Chair (n.) Something typically thrown across the table.
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Partner (n.) The person responsible for all your 25% games.
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Redouble (v.) A form of punishment for partner usually best used when becoming dummy.
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Tournament (n.) A place where people gather to make enemies.
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Masterpoints (n.) Something that the ACBL gives for paying your entry fee.
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Convention Card (n.) A list of all the special agreements you will forget in the following session.
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Blame (v.) An item more abundant than water.
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Squeeze (v.) A form of torture requiring your enemy to give up valuable information.
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Invitational Bid (adj.) A method of removing the blame from yourself and instead placing it on your partner.
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Wife (n.) Someone who you should avoid sitting across the table from at all costs.
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Weak Two (n.) A polite term referring to the husband and wife who have played at the local club for 25 years, and still play in C.
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Alex, I don't know if you have ever heard of the Devil's Dictionary, but it is also the same type of thing, and is extremely amusing.
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Matchpoints (n.) A way of measuring how badly your partner did
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Signalling (v.) An excuse for not cashing your Ace and King against 6NT
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Relay (v.) A method of asking partner how badly he originally misdescribed his hand
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I make a support double. Failing that I would bid 2♥. Without the overcall I bid 1NT.
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4♠ although I admit that I really want to punt slam.
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Partner would show (hidden)
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NV vs V at IMPs you hold: AJT9xx AJx ------ AKJx Partner is another junior, and the bidding goes: (1♦) - 2♥ - (P) - ? What's your plan?
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HB Andy!! :)
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Abstain, the pass was so ridiculously idiotic... Ok, ok, 4♥ wtp.
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Mild slam try: Transfer then 4♠.
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Ant vs Hamdi. Ant wins.