bid_em_up

Speaking of doctors: A lady goes to visit her doctor and says "Doc, I have this problem. I have been having some serious gas lately, and farting all the time" as she lets 'em fly everywhere. She says "Thank God though, they are silent and they don't smell". Doc examines her for a few minutes, writes her a prescription and tells her to take these pills and come back in two weeks. Upon her return, the woman states "I don't understand it Doc. I still have the farting problem, but all of the sudden, I can hear them." Doc says "Great, now that we have your hearing fixed, we can work on your sense of smell!!"

This should be put on a T-Shirt. :P

He might if he was 1-1-6-5. x x AKQxxx Jxxxx at favorable is certainly possible.

Another pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants? That must be really annoying" And the pirate says... "Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!"

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "Arrh – Not at ‘tall." the pirate replies, "I be fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Arrh!," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Aye," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Arrh," says the pirate, "One day when I was swabbing me deck, some gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them--arrgh, he, pooped--in me eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!" "Aye," says the pirate, " 'Twas the first day with me hook.”

No way. :) The first written mention about fries has been found in Iceland in the epic saga "Franskar kartöflur"! You didn't really think that was a serious statement, did you?

Well, it is impossible that a diamond lead is required at this point to defeat the contract. If partner has a trump trick, it isn't going anywhere, and dummy doesn't appear to be ruffing anything. So a diamond lead can be ruled out. If we return the heart Q, it's possible that declarer can win the Ace, draw trumps and play 4 more rounds of hearts, and the last spade honor, pitching all of his clubs for making 6. The same thing might occur if we return a small club. Since this was given as a matchpoints problem, I think it is best to cash the Ace of clubs at this point and then decide whether to continue clubs or switch to a heart, but for whatever reason, that wasn't one of the available choices!! Since the club ace wasn't an option given, I will choose a heart to cater to declarer being 1-1 in the majors and able to pitch his losing heart on the remaining spade honor.

Oh please. Everyone knows McDonald's invented French Fries.

I wasn't playing the hand, only kibitzing. The pair that did was playing 2/1.

On two different hands yesterday, I saw these similar auctions duplicated by GIB at multiple tables: (1♦)-1N-(2♥)-X (1♠)-1N-(2♥)-X Both times the explanations said something along the lines of "6+ hcp, biddable hearts". On one hand, GIB held KJx♥ and on the other it held Axx♥. These are biddable?

sorry, that was what I remembered, but when I went and looked it up, it was actually the hand as now posted. :)

[hv=s=sakqxxhxdaxckq10xx]133|100|1♠-1N 3♣-4♠ all pass[/hv] South thought 4♠ showed a limit raise. North thought otherwise.

[hv=d=w&v=e&s=s952hakdk542cj983]133|100|Scoring: IMP opps silent. 1S-1N 3C-?[/hv] what's your choice and why please?

yes

The new "rule" likely has not been released yet (assuming it was actually implemented). http://forums.bridgebase.com/index.php?showtopic=37720&hl=

Things that make you go, hmmmm.

See Ari's response here: http://forums.bridgebase.com/index.php?showtopic=38460

Yup. Me 4. (this was Saturday night). The reservation popped up, I accepted and was immediately disconnected. Logged back in, reservation came up again, I accepted and was taken to table. I then had the host unreserve my seat, I logged out of BBO, logged back in, had them reissue request, and had no problems when I accepted this time.

1♣-1♠ 2♥-2♠ At this point, I am 3-4-1-5 and wanted to splinter 4♦. When I hover mouse over 4♦ bid, the explanation was: 4+ hearts, 5+ clubs, strong rebiddable diamonds?!? :lol:

NV, North deals and passes: P-(1♦)-1♠-(p) 2♠-(p)-4♥* Explanation for 4H is 1- H, 5+S, 17hcp, 19 total points; 10+ relay points. So what does bot do? [hv=s=sj32hkj103dq95c864]133|100|[/hv] It "knows" it is opposite a stiff and passes anyway.

Gib has determined that you have been lying to him by passing opening hands. He's just checking to see if you are also lying about having 4 card spade suit. :rolleyes:

Suggesting Adventures in Card Play to an aspiring intermediate player is, imo, a sure-fire way to make them quit the game. I don't dispute that it is an excellent book, and at some point in time, it becomes a "must-read", but this is kind of like suggesting calculus to the caveman who only wants to learn how to add & subtract.

If you haven't read/worked through these, I would suggest doing so: Take Your Tricks: Over 550 Declarer Play Tips You Can Take To The Bank Test Your Bridge Play: Volume 1, 100 Declarer-Play Problems Designed to Improve Your Card Playing Techniques Test Your Bridge Play: Volume 2, 115 Declarer-Play Problems Designed to Improve Card Playing Techniques for Bridge Players Who Are Sick and Tired of Going Down in Cold Contracts All three are available on Amazon, and are written for improving the declarer skills of intermediate players. EDIT: All three books are by Eddie Kantar

me too

I doubt many people here are familiar with Smackwater Jack.