The real solution is to play a strong club system. Then it's easy. So, for instance, for me, 1♣ is 16+, 17+ if balanced, 1N open is 14-16, 1!D then 1NT is 11-13. Could flop the 1D and 1N ranges to taste.
I don't think a 6-10 rebid is really playable opposite that range. Basically you want 1N to max out weak enough that opener can always just pass with the strong NT hand.
That seems like a ludicrous (not surprising) ruling by ACBL. As an opponent I would very much want that pre-alerted, and would feel unfairly disadvantaged if it wasn't. Conceptually, I struggle to see how hearing a pre-alert is any different than glancing at your CC between rounds, which is certainly legal.
Taking 15+ seconds to make a bid is frankly pretty excessive 90% of the time. 15 seconds is a looong time. Since online you don't have do many things that eat up time in f2f bridge (such as writing down scores, or sorting your hand), the general pace of play is a good bit faster. 7-8 minutes f2f is probably about 5 minutes online.
These seems...really bad. Just absolutely roadmapping the defense. This is really a solved problem... play a 3c puppet, problem solved, and it doesn't reveal anything about responder's hand.
Duck around to the Q. If the queen wins, play QH, which sets up 11 tricks. If E pops A!S at trick 1 you have your 9 tricks immediately, at worst, and again have 11 for the taking on any non S return I'm assuming you flew the Q at trick. Only way that's right is if E has the J and W has led the 9 from something like AT9x, which would just be bizarre.
Neither with that balanced rubbish. Await further developments. I might be slightly persuaded towards a !D raise if the opening ABSOLUTELY PROMISES 4+, but I still think it's bad. In general I think aggressively competing on hands like this is a *big* long term loser as you won't be able to have constructive auctions when you have a bit more. About the only competitive auction I'd feel comfortable wading into on these values would be a 1♠ overcall, if I had 5 of 'em. But I don't. So pass for now, and hope the opponents either get overzealous, or partner can balance and THEN we can try to find a spot.
I don't really see an auction that gets to slam and DOESN'T also get there on a lot of hands that don't have a prayer. That said, I would splinter with the N hand. J2NT should be reserved for hands that are either balanced or so strong they are driving to at least 6 opposite a balanced minimum.
You and all her partners need to be alerting her doubles, then. Not doing so is, well, the c-word. Had a similar situation with a local pair who beleived in balancing on any 13 cards below 2NT.