wank

cuebids at the 4 level (and 3S if H are trumps). naturalish shape showing at the 2 and 3 level - you have plenty of space for cue/controls later

no matter how much you write in bold,you're wrong. acol, as any other system, involves sometimes faking a suit. i think you need to tone down your posting style which tries to combine being aggressive with playing the victim.

mixed raise 5s - having shown some values already i'm much happier bidding on with my extra shape. if i had the ace of d unshown i'd be worried that i was phantoming

i have evidence. my evidence is north's statement and his hand. what conclusions i draw from that evidence are upto me.

This is the standard reply (which i fully expected to get). All it shows is a lack of moral courage. Should you be trying to find the bid which has the biggest positive expectation or which has the smallest chance of annoying partner? If you make unilateral decisions too frequently you're probably a very deluded person, but sometimes constant buck-passing doesn't get the job done and someone needs to stick their neck out. If we got a bad result on the back of it, I would expect my partner to appreciate I was trying to get us the best result on the board just as I expect the same of him whenever he takes any decision, mundane or otherwise. As for the expectation from passing versus bidding on, I assess the former as having a better return on average non-vul. You should devote your time to proving me wrong.

Passing 2s would be a decent gamble particularly non vul. If you're too scared to pass of course you bid 2nt. This part is a non-question. Anything else would be ridiculous.

i would be inclinded to accept the 1 convention card as sufficient evidence to let the table result stand, and assume north forgot the system or some such, if it weren't for north saying 'he took a view' with his 51 shape. this sounds like such hastily made up rubbish that i'll assume he's hiding something else and change the score.

raising to slam would be absurd on your hand. your partner grossly underbid at both opportunities.

2 clubs was rather sporting, but now partner's bid diamonds it seems like a double fit so you've got to bid on.

i agree with the line but you should cash a top heart at some point to check for a 4-0 split

pass. your opps are resulting.

xx xx in the majors is play for 5. a good rule for opening 2c is to do it if you're likely to make game opposite xxx xxx xxx xxx plus 1 useless card. the answer with an extra major suit queen would be yes. and before anyone claims otherwise, you will often get passed out at the 1 level when you hold both majors and 20 high - opps won't rescue you if they're short in hearts.

i think 6d is crazy. i'll bid 4h and 5d over 4s and hope it makes.

this is rather excessive. 2C is a modest overbid. with a major suit queen it would be clear. 5c is considerably worse.

11 tricks. declarer obviously intends to draw trumps, but has never seen a 5-0 split before. as for clubs, ew are unfortunate that it's not 4-0 the other way round. this way the position must be showin up, no matter which honour is cashed first.

minors for me

i don't myself, but lots of people play pass as forcing after a penalty double of 1nt

of course you're wrong in every way. opps routinely come back to life for tactical reasons, and, shock horror, they don't always have as many points as they're claiming in the bidding. 4s would just be a lazy bid. 4C has zero downside and is descriptive - partner isn't going to take you for any more than this considering you passed 1 heart.

you can just rebid no trumps. partner can check you have a stop. if partner doubles at the 3 level you have to pass. don't forget that when rho doesn't raise, it often means partner's got values there.

of course for some interpreting bridge laws is more interesting than playing bridge. the people who attend no psyche bridge clubs are obviously not interested in bridge laws though so he can expect short shrift when he starts whining.

it thought your balanced, pipless, aceless 11 count, with 3 unsupported honours, was impossible for a 2nd in hand opening bid at adverse so it assumed you had the kc and it was irrelevant.

4 clubs. it's not hard to imagine a slam and we'll make it easier if opps return to the party. of course i would have doubled a heart though

yes the double doesn't affect matters at all. you don't redouble there if you're shapely.

yes, right, if those 100 14 counts are actually good ones. if your partner spots you're manic and open totally boring 14 counts though then he should say something.

control showing responses are too bad to bother giving an answer for. it's like saying, 'what would you bid if you had taken half the bidding cards out of your box before the start to give yourself a handicap?"