Thiros

I had so much fun with the Halloween story competition that I couldn't help but keep going. Therefore, it is with pleasure that I now exhibit the following original, "Smokey's Passed-Out Hand". -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- It was the last round of the club championship duplicate, in downtown Los Angeles. The Dude and Walter Sobchak welcomed a familiar pair to their table. East was Smokey, and West was his partner, Leon. "Hey, nice to see you, man," the Dude greeted his old bowling opponent. "Same here, Dude," Smokey returned. [hv=pc=n&s=sk8742hjdaj872ct8&w=sa65hq75432dt64ca&n=sqt9hk9dq3ck97532&e=sj3hat86dk95cqj64&nn=The%20Dude&sn=Walter&wn=Leon&en=Smokey&d=s&v=0&b=11&a=ppp1cp1h2c2hd(responsive)3h3spp4hppp&p=stsjsks5ctcac3c4hqhkhahjc6c8h4c2h3h9hts2cjd8h2c5sas9s3s4s6sqh8s7cqd2h5ckdtdqdk]399|300[/hv] They pulled out their cards for the first board of the two-board round. Walter passed as dealer and Leon went into a deep think. The heart suit was too weak for a preempt, and the hand had too little overall strength for an opening bid. After some time, Leon passed. The Dude passed, and in fourth seat Smokey opened 1♣. Walter, a sound bidder, passed, Leon bid 1♥, the Dude overcalled 2♣ (natural) and Smokey raised to 2♥. Walter made a responsive double and Leon re-raised to 3♥. The Dude pushed in with 3♠ ---- it rated to make ---- passed around to Leon, who thought awhile, though not as long as initially, before driving on to 4♥. All passed, and the Dude led the ♠10. Walter raised his eyebrows at the sight of Smokey's dummy, but said nothing. "What is your length for that double," Leon asked of the Dude. "Oh, he's showing at least 5-5 in spades and diamonds," the Dude explained. "He's conservative that way. He always has full value, but me, I'd be willing to make that double with . . ." The Dude trailed off, as Leon pondered the trick. He could not duck it completely, or a diamond shift would most likely ruin him. Then he had an idea. He covered with dummy's jack, to take the Dude off lead, and find out which high spade honor Walter had. When Walter played the king, Leon ducked in his own hand! For a moment Walter was mildly surprised, but then he shrugged, and switched to the ♣10. Leon brilliantly won the ace, then went back into the tank. For declarer to make this hand, the trump suit would have to come in for no losers. That meant the ♥K would have to drop, or the ♥J pin singleton in Walter's hand. Walter had already shown up with the ♠K, and was heavily favored to have the ♦A and at least one middle diamond honor. He would probably have opened as dealer with the ♥K as well. So Leon needed to play the Dude for the ♥K. Moreover, if it were singleton, that would give the Dude seven clubs, and he probably would have done something nonvulnerable in third seat. So Leon took a deep breath, and led the ♥Q. The Dude covered, and on dummy's ace, Walter dropped the ♥J! Leon ruffed a club, crossed to dummy's ♥10, and ruffed a third club as Walter showed out. Now Leon cashed the ♠A, ruffed a spade in dummy and then returned to his hand with a club ruff leaving: [hv=pc=n&s=s8hdaj7c&w=sh7dt64c&n=shdq3c97&e=sh6dk95c&nn=The%20Dude&sn=Walter&wn=Leon&en=Smokey]399|300[/hv] Leon led the ♦10, covered by the Dude and dummy and taken by Walter's ace. Walter stared at the table in disbelief, as the light dawned. He would either have to give up a trick to the ♦9 or a ruff-sluff. Before he could make his choice, Leon claimed making four. "Well played, partner," said Smokey, then turning to his right, "Mark it 420, Dude." "Um, NO," interrupted Walter, suddenly springing up in his seat. "You opened the bidding after your partner went into a huddle and passed. That's a foul. "Mark it zero, next deal." "But---- but, I'm opening anyway!" exclaimed a now stammering Smokey. "I'm opening this hand all day!" "Bull[bLEEP], Smokey," Walter roared. "Let's look at your hand . . ." He grabbed Smokey's cards from the table. "You've heard of the Rule of 15, haven't you? You have eleven high and two spades. That's a queen short of 15! You don't have an opening bid in any chair, least of all fourth. Mark it zero for a pass-out, please." The Dude was now more interested in avoiding trouble than anything. "So he fudged a little," he argued. "Can't we just give them credit for good bidding and play, and----" "Dude, we've been over this before," interrupted Walter. "This is not Vietnam. This is duplicate bridge. There are rules. This game determines who gets to play in the District championship. Am I wrong?" "You're not wrong, Walter, but----" Now Smokey attempted to take matters into his own hands, reaching for the traveling scoresheet himself. Walter's face contracted. "You mark that board 420, and you are entering a world of pain. A world of pain." "But----" "A WORLD -- of PAIN." Smokey was scrambling now. "D-do you want me to get th-the director?" "I've got your director right here," retorted Walter, reaching into his bag and pulling out a .357 caliber glock. "Has the whole world gone CRAZY?!?!" Walter had jumped to his feet now. "AM I THE ONLY ONE IN HERE WHO GIVES A [bLEEP] ABOUT THE RULES!?!?" Other players were snickering nearby, but fortunately Walter paid no heed to them. "MARK IT ZERO!" Play had stopped in the entire room now, and the director was reaching for his phone. Smokey was frozen in terror, and Walter now leveled the glock at him. "MARK IT ZERO. YOU [bLEEEEP] MARK IT ZERO!" "They're calling the cops, man!" the Dude warned. Walter had the gun right in Smokey's face now. "YOU THINK I'M [bLEEEEP] AROUND?!?! YOU [bLEEEEP] MARK THAT BOARD ZERO!!!" Smokey made a panicked grapple at the pencil, which was quivering in his trembling hand, and made a quick motion on the scorecard. "All right, it's [bLEEEEP] zero," he sniveled. "Are you happy, you crazy [bLEEP]?" "Club championship, Smokey," muttered Walter, in a barely audible voice, as he put his gun back in his bag. Somehow, they managed to play the other board. Mercifully, it was a flat, no problem 3NT hand. A police siren could be heard approaching in the distance as they put their cards away. "Let's get out of here," Walter told the Dude, as he lifted up his bag. They were on their way through the hallway. "You just got us banned from that club for life, man, you idiot," the Dude yelped, but Walter just kept walking. The Dude tried to slow them down. "Man, you just made a federal case about this, don't you want to at least go back and see if we won the club champ----" "[bLEEP] it, Dude," grumbled Walter as they got to the back parking lot, and the police siren stopped on the other side of the building. "Let's go bowling."

Congrats to Carlsen, he is a deserving and worthy challenger to the title in spite of his defeat today. Do we have an Anand-Kramnik 2008 thread somewhere down in the depths of this forum? For a while, it looked like we might have had to go down and gravedig it.... People are complaining about the tiebreak, I think more wins is a great way to do it. Encouraging sharp chess is good for the game, and what a more effective way than to count a win and a loss as superior to two draws for the purpose of sending a challenger to play for the title? Kramnik may have played the best overall chess in the event, but in the end, his undoing was playing too cautiously and conservatively early. About the double round-robin format ---- it was well-regarded going in, and worked out decently this time around. But in a parallel universe not so far away, Carlsen, Kramnik, Aronian and Svidler are all part of a four-way tie for first place. Imagine the ruckus that would have been stirred up by that clusterf***.

My partner and I live near there and we played in the side game on Friday night and the A/X Swiss Teams yesterday. We had an even .500 run in the team game, winning three matches, losing three and tying one.

I think it is time to wish Happy Birthday to our thread lord Aberlour10. http://www.bridgebase.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif

The Candidates' Tournament is about to get under way, the big discussion center is here: http://www.chessgame...ss.pl?tid=80233

Both of these teams would be very deserving World Champions, but as a fan of Stanford sports, I have to lean my rooting interests to San Francisco and Jim, who used to be the head coach there...

Like L.M., I considered this very close. If partner's double were reopening and I were BEHIND the preempt, it would be a fast pass, and I would jump to 3♠ if I didn't pass, but I would be nervous at the end of the auction because of the position. The factor that finally tipped me to pass is that 2♦ doubled and making is not game. Switch my red suits and make the preempt a 2♥ opening bid, and 3♠ would be my bid.

Well, out of the nine SEC teams bowling, all of them won their games except for LSU, Florida, and Mississippi State, and all year long it was in question how good those teams were anyway. So while the SEC this year was probably slightly overrated, that doesn't mean that it wasn't for real. South Carolina was really the only SEC bowl winner that didn't emphatically prove itself.

FRANK ZAMBONI GETS A GOOGLE DOODLE! http://www.pcmag.com...,2414350,00.asp

We could easily belong in spades. Give partner 3-6-2-2 shape, with ♥A10xxxx, the ♠J, and another king anywhere but hearts, and we want to be in 4♠. Therefore, I would start with a forcing 2♠, and if partner denies support then I suppose I would drive to 4♥. Aggressive to commit to four of a major with this hand, to be sure, but our space for investigation is limited. The other thing we want to learn about is features. So alternatively, we can give up on 4♠, start with a feature-asking 2NT and go to 4♥ when partner shows interest, and get out in 3♥ otherwise. Usually you want to be in 3NT when you have all the queens, but the communication problems loom large as mgoetze said previously. The opponents will attack in their minor suit, probably diamonds, and during the play we will wither on the vine.

Yeah..... FOX advertising New Girl or any of their other trash sitcoms during the Colbert Report or the Daily Show. Hello-o-o-o? This is Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert you're dealing with, who do you think their audience is exactly? You're FOX, you are the ENEMY.

In my early days on BBO, I had a partner who preached, among other things, to always open with AAK. This piece of advice has served me well. The two 10's and the two 9's make this a clear case. The 1♦ opening isn't a thing of beauty, but we have to do it if we're going to open.

Any way we can count Breaking Bad as a western? I know, it's a huge reach...

Depends on the M. If the response is 1♠ then a fake reverse will usually be okay. However, if it's 1♥ then we do really have a serious problem. It's worth noting that a lot of the Bridge World Nightmare Hands, when partner's response is 1♠ and we have three-card support, can be handled with fake reverses. Opening 2♣ here would be beyond the pale.

4♥. IMO, absent prior discussion, this should show what we have.

4♠. Go, go, go. Let them stew over their five-level choices. It's true, 4♦ is a splinter and will let us get to six when partner has the likes of ♠KJxxx ♥xx ♦Axxx ♣AQ. Nothing is stopping partner from holding this hand, apart from raw, sheer probabilities. At matchpoints, more important than slam-chasing, is cutting off LHO's 4♥ bid. We bid and make a slam and we get a top the 5% or 10% of the time it is on. We have 10 tricks in spades and they find 5♥-X down three, we have a zero.

All three of my neighbors' cats open 1♠. Debate, not so much. Pontification? Yes, definitely.

I would actually reopen at matchpoints. If partner has any distribution other than 3-5-3-2, this will usually turn out OK. Six hearts, or four diamonds, or three clubs with partner will give us a home. Vulnerable at IMPs, of course, it is way too dangerous.

Nine. Ole Miss is also in a bowl game, playing Pittsburgh, and is also favored, although narrowly (as of now). The interest in bowl game pairings often goes beyond the matchup on the field. For instance, Kansas State had a game scheduled at Oregon in September this year, but backed out because Oregon swapped out a meeting with Kansas State on a neutral field for one with LSU last year. Thus the gaudy appearance of Tennessee Tech on Oregon's schedule, which was the result of a last-minute scramble by Oregon to fill the vacated spot. Now Kansas State is the Big 12 champion and going to the Fiesta Bowl, where they will be playing Oregon after all. So here we have a storyline about the team that, in the end, has to play the game that they tried to back out of. Meanwhile, back home, Stanford will be playing to avenge the loss to Wisconsin the last time they played in the Rose Bowl, at the turn of the millennium. At that time Wisconsin was the national power and Stanford was the lowly representative of a weak Pac-10; now the roles are reversed.

Threads that just won't die.

What guessing? Hearts are going to be trumps, unless partner doubles in front of me.

We can keep going: REVOLUTION = TO LOVE RUIN TELEGRAPH = GREAT HELP WAITRESS = "A Stew, Sir?" DIPLOMACY = MAD POLICY

I have opened 1NT in the past with 4-4-4-1 hands and a singleton K and consider it a good description. I once opened 1NT with a 4-1-4-4 and a singleton ♥K, and partner drove me to 5♥ with ♥AJ10xxx and what looked like not a whole lot more than a minimum game-going hand. I was fortunate enough to make 5♥ exactly when the ♥Q dropped doubleton. I would find it less attractive with a singleton Ace since that suit would have no losers in a trump contract, and the singleton K is much better for notrump opposite partner's typical holding. Indeed, I'd rather open 1NT with a singleton Q than a singleton A.

Win ♥A; lead ♦J, overtaking with ♦K; East wins and returns a club, which I win in hand. Now the ♠A and a spade; East wins the ♠J and returns another club, which I win with the ♣K; then the ♦10, throwing my last club, and East has to give me the board. There are variations, but I think this basic plan takes care of them all. I might even make this at the table on a good day. I knew all those years spent on Richard Pavlicek's web site were good for something... http://www.bridgebase.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif

Cut it out of the newspaper and bring it to your local club game, and the director will scan it and give you a free play. http://www.bridgebase.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif No, I'm just kidding. It's probably an encoded version of the deal, so the formatting software can read it and output the complete diagram without someone having to manually key in every hand in each seat.