Thiros

Well, it's done. I've made my choice, but you have no idea how badly I wanted to write in Fred Gitelman. http://www.bridgebase.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif

How often is partner accepting our invite when game is going two or three down?

All these players with "girl" in their screen name that I've seen during my years on BBO. I should have known that wasn't by accident...

My votes are in line with the poll at large. Partner has conducted a discouraging auction, but there are a number of minimums he could hold that make game very good. I would estimate that given what we know, game is somewhere between a 38-50% chance. I think passing at matchpoints is a clearer decision than making the invitation at IMPs (got to bid those 38% vulnerable games, baby).

My preferred meaning for double here is to say, "My diamonds are for real. Partner, please lead one."

Florida was playing over their heads all year. Georgia has them beat in the talent department, they just found it in themselves to get it together and assert themselves as the better team. ND's win over Oklahoma surprised me as well, but Oklahoma struggled so mightily with UTEP that by now we should realize that they just aren't all that great. ND certainly has their best team in a very long time but I'm still skeptical that they can complete a perfect regular season. They still have to travel to USC, who is still very capable of rising to the occasion and beating them. Even if ND is undefeated at selection time, the pool of title game candidates is crowded and they have Alabama and Oregon (to say nothing of a couple of others) to worry about. Honestly, they should be thrilled if they end up with a victory in a BCS bowl (other than the national championship game).

It had been a while since I had gone to the Haunted Trail during the last week of October, in Balboa Park, San Diego. But I still lived nearby and the experience had been one to remember, so it would be good to be back. This time, I wouldn't be going alone. Daphne, a coworker, was coming with me. There were other places to go in Balboa Park besides the Haunted Maze, but that was definitely the thing I had the most vivid memories of, so we decided to do that first. As it happened, no one else was going with us at that particular moment, and so we had to navigate a dark, confusing and twisting path all by ourselves. Before long I saw a well-lit tent up ahead, the path evidently going through. This was familiar from the other time I had been there. We were on the right track. On our way through the tent, two clowns jumped out of a corner and blew horns in our faces. As we staggered back, one of them stepped into our way, fanned out a handful of cards, and commanded, "Pick a card! Any card…" I looked the fan of cards over, and the other clown sprang up. "Come on! You don't need to take all night," as he pointed his horn at me and blew. Flustered, I grabbed a card and turned it over. What do you know, on the other side was the face of Harold Berlin, the famed rubber bridge great. "The luck of the draw!" the clown holding the cards said. "You get to play bridge with us, one rubber. If you win the rubber, we'll let you go on home. But if WE win, then you get to stay with us for ETERNITY! Muhuhohohahahahaha!" We had little choice in the matter. The clowns dragged out a fold-up table leaning against the wall in the back corner. Next thing I knew, I was playing rubber bridge in this spooked-up tent, with Daphne as my partner. If a clown ever tells you he can do something, believe him. Daphne was a skilled spades player, but her rudimentary knowledge of bridge bidding was handicapping our side significantly. Our opponents got vulnerable first, then we did. But in the meantime, in spirited attempts to get the rubber over with quickly, Daphne had bid our side into game contracts that just weren't there, and most of these were rightly doubled. And so it happened that not only would we need to reach game to win the rubber but we would also have to make a slam. Quite honestly, the way it was going, we were lucky that we didn't need a grand slam. As dealer, I picked up a promising hand. I opened 1♥, and for once, the clowns stayed out of the way of our bidding. Daphne responded 1NT and I rebid 2♣. I considered jump-shifting, but my primary suit was so weak that I would never be able to get the three-club call out of my throat with an even tone. In response to this, Daphne rebid 2♠. Oh boy. In standard bidding, this was the "impossible spade bid," showing a strong club raise. But how much of that knowledge did Daphne have? Was she in fact about to deliver a strong club raise, or was she simply showing a balanced hand with three very strong spades? While I was pondering, a third clown, who was kibitzing, spoke up. "Hey! Move it!" he yipped, blowing his horn in my ear. This was getting to be too much, and I finally did what I do all too often in less ridiculous settings. We needed a slam, and this was as good a chance as any. "Six clubs," I blurted out. LHO clown passed. Daphne passed. RHO clown passed. No double! A good sign already. [hv=pc=n&s=sakht8652dackqj84&w=sq64hj9743dkt72c7&n=st82hkdq843cat952&e=sj9753haqdj965c63&sn=Thiros&nn=Daphne&wn=LHO%20Clown&en=RHO%20Clown&d=s&v=b&b=7&a=1hp1np2cp2sp6cppp&p=c7c2c3cksas4s2s3sks6s8s5h2h3hkhac6cjsqcastsjc4h4h5h7c9hqd3d6dad2h6h9c5s7d4d5c8d7hthjcts9d8d9cqdth8dkdqdj]399|300[/hv] West threw a fiendish grin in my direction and led a trump, East following. We were in a good spot ---- in fact, on any other lead, 6♣ would breeze home on a crossruff. But here, if the other trump was with the ♥A, and hearts did not break 4-3, a second round of clubs would kill the crossruff. Nor were my heart spots good enough to set up a trick through repeated ruffing finesses, even if West had the weakest possible five-card heart holding. Anyway, I would have to lose a heart trick early in the play to get the hand going, but I just knew a trump would be coming back and I would have to be ready for it. I won trick one in hand, unblocked the ♠A and ♠K, then led a heart to dummy's king. East won the ace, then sneered at me, "Don't you know sevens are singletons, you fool?" as he returned the outstanding trump. I played the ♣J, preparing to win in hand, but then West discarded the ♠Q! This was an unexpected play, even if West had a count on the spade suit. It definitely looked like West was guarding the red suits and I would need to execute some kind of squeeze against him in order to make. Accordingly, I overtook in dummy with the ♣A, then, continuing to thread the needle, led dummy's last spade, ruffing East's jack, and West was caught in a crisscross trump squeeze. If he pitched a diamond, I would win the ♦A, ruff a heart, ruff a diamond, ruff a heart, then a diamond ruff would bring down West's ♦K and dummy would be high. West actually discarded a heart, and I ruffed a heart in dummy, East dropping the queen. "Yeah, I thought so," I said aloud, crossing to the ♦A, ruffing a heart, ruffing a diamond, and one more heart ruff in dummy made my hand good. The rubber was over, and we had won by 60 points. Daphne congratulated me on my play, and then I told our opponents, "Thank you for your hospitality," as I grabbed Daphne's hand and headed for the exit. "Hold on," barked the West clown as he sprang up. "The score, look, this rubber was pretty much a tie. YOU get to go home, but your pretty partner is staying with us, and we're all going to like it!" And with that he and his accomplice took hold of Daphne and then tore through the paper wall on one side, running into an area that I was sure only park staff were allowed in. I wasn't going to let them make off with Daphne so easily. "You cheats, get back here!" I yelled as I took off running after them, and before long the area all around us was pitch black. I couldn't see where we were going any more. The clowns faded into the darkness, and the ground gave way under my feet. "WRRRAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!" I found myself partially slipped into the crack between my twin beds. It was morning, on the day of November 1. Candy wrappers were lying all around my apartment, and there was a bitter taste in my mouth. No doubt about it, I had definitely overdone it this year. Where did all THAT come from, I wondered to myself. I had been in the Haunted Maze before, but four years ago was the last time. And I was having a hard time remembering whether Daphne was real. While I was trying to figure it out, I realized that we had in fact met, but only once ---- and that was in the elevator, two days ago. I got out of bed, brushed my teeth and got in the shower.

Technically we don't have the values to act, but pass is really taking a position at matchpoints. It could be right, but the odds are against it. Double has a real and obvious upside but it's rich. Our shape isn't nearly classic, and a secondary club fit with E-W is not unlikely. Indeed, RHO may well RUN to 4♣ after partner converts our double to penalty. Not to mention the danger of partner taking our double out to 4♣ or 5♣. 4♦ is just trying to land on the head of a pin. 3♠ is the highest-percentage shot.

Gary North? That isn't the same Gary North who predicted that the world would end on January 1, 2000, is he?

Without any competition, 2♦ there would be New Minor Forcing. In the presence of East's 1♠ bid, is New Minor Forcing still on? Should it be?

Trap Her, Keep Her? I hardly know her!

The combination of having just 11 HCP, a doubleton as opposed to a singleton heart, and only three spades makes this a clear pass.

Perhaps not my "favorite win," but a memorable sequence of events from a sectional back in 2006, I don't remember exactly where, but somewhere in the Bay Area, where I lived at the time. It was an eight-round event, each round having seven boards. It was either round six or seven, and we had lost our match in the previous round, highlighted by my partner and I having badly misdefended a doubled game. Our teammates thought they had gotten a good score on that board, since they had defeated a game themselves, so when I announced the score at our table, one of them exclaimed, "Oh, f**k! Oh, f**k!" repeatedly. In the next round, we had an early board where our opponents bid and made a cold grand. (Our teammates would stop in the small slam.) After the board, the lady on my right said, "We fixed these poor guys." I said nothing. On the very next board, we struck right back by boldly bidding a making vulnerable slam, and our counterparts would play the hand in game, so we matched their 13-IMP gain with one of our own. We ended up winning the match, 32-30, and while we didn't win the sectional, we finished quite high.

Speaking of Russian Imperial, Fort Ross comes to mind. Slightly north of the San Francisco Bay, right on the coast. We made a stop there on a family vacation 15 or 20 years ago and for some reason, I have really good memories of that place.

Near Letter Quality FTW!

I prefer this translator: http://www.bing.com/translator/ In my experience, it works a little better. Whoever's idea it was to give the Chinese players their own board, that was a brilliant, really great idea. That place now almost has more posts than all of the other foreign forums combined.

Did both of your side-suit jacks end up working? Opening 3♠ is clear. Second seat red on white, you really need to have the goods.

My pipe-dream matchup: Rangers and Nationals in the World Series.

I forced our side to the five level with this heaping pile, and now I am faced with this? Rather than succumb to the trick-one endplay, I steal a spade from the next table over, and put it out there, hoping I get caught and thrown out of the game so that I don't have to humiliate myself further.

As a more specific case, people who put "girl" in their screen name.

Richard Pavlicek, for one. http://www.bridgebase.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif I can't make the call as to which treatment has more merit, but the 3♠ bid as invitational is so common that that's the way I play it.

I am nothing remotely resembling a laws expert, but if this negative double structure were alertable, I would be stunned.

I would start with 2♣ and follow up with 3♣. Crude, to be sure, and I would do the same thing with 4-5 in a major and clubs, but it works well enough often enough. What I do after bidding 3♣ will depend on what partner's response was to 2♣. If we're playing matchpoints, I will end up basically giving our partnership the choice of playing this hand in 3NT or 6♣.

Partner's response to a 4NT opening bid should be simple: "5♣ if you have no aces, 5♦ if you have one . . . etc.".

Hah. If I made that bid, I would certainly have support, but my hearts would probably be the least "biddable" of my suits, and I would be interested in knowing exactly how "biddable" PARTNER's hearts are.