wank

yes, correct

what he said except 4s, not 3s. 3s just shows a doubleton spade and a hand unsuitable for doing anything more useful, such as 3NT. 4s is a 3 suiter, too strong to raise to 2s directly.

if anyone passed here, you would need to check their pulse. auto double.

what you mean is that 2 hearts shows both majors with hearts at least as long as spades. to accomodate 44 or indeed 55, partner just corrects to his better major. this means that when you're 45 and partner is 32 you play the 4-3 rather than the 5-2 but that's not a problem (43 fits are often difficult for less experienced players, but no point shying away from them if you want to improve). as for the merits of doing this, at pairs it's a very good idea - even if you're making 1nt, 2M will normally score better and 2M will often make when 1NT is off. at imps, if you have enough points to expect to make 1NT, but not enough to invite, so about 7/8 - 10, it's a bad gamble, because you have to make a trick more to go positive and you'll only be modestly increasing your score when it succeeds. if you have a weak hand, yes, it's a good bet, because you will often move from a contract going down to one making. especially against weaker opponents you also make it a lot more difficult for them to double you - even weak players with enough points know to double 1NT, but a weak player will be lost over stayman with a good hand. they often do something silly like bidding 2NT.

obviously north miscounted his cards and his points, whereas south only miscounted his cards

100% if you go above intermediate level

keycard in clubs then 6 or 7nt. if partner has a queen and a king you're good to go. if it's stiff and they lead one that's just unlucky.

i'm in the slam camp - i've gone off before. i'll just bid 5nt. i don't want partner getting carried away.

why would i want to X this with only 2 tricks and decent length in partner's pre-empt suit?

No this is 1 poster's unusual system. It's unusual because it's terrible. You're taking away all your space on your strong hands where you need space most for slam investigation.

i should have said that i'm guessing you're playing pairs - you normally do. at imps, the difference between 920 and 800 isn't worth risking for.

i find this sort of attitude embarrassing as a native english speaker. of course it was more embarrassing when i played in spain and another english pair complained about their opponents speaking spanish.

no room for science. just bid what you think you can make. if i were you, i'd think i could make 6c.

you don't have to be ashamed to pass. if you've got a similar strength hand to your rho with his suit (hence no double), defending will often be your best option.

Yes double. Hand is way too good for 3d or 2s. Not sure why people are worried about it being passed out.

rubbish. there's a bonus for bidding vulnerable games i hear. 1d-1h-2c-2d-2s-3s-3nt would be pushy but fine.

even playing acol 2d should be forcing. having to jump to 3d on hands like this is too horrid for words. a normal auction in an acol framework would be 1s-2c-2d-2h-2nt-3c-6nt.

i find it very annoying when opponents alert for trivial reasons.

partner has a maximum for a hand which passes despite having a fit, but it's still not our hand.

i was under the impression the ebu used to pay £1 per board - i think i'm thinking of the time there was a playoff during the brighton week for which team would represent england in the euros.

ovbiously self-contradictory nonsense. the utility of the queen of clubs is unknown until we see what partner has, and indeed, see the lie of the opponents' cards. as it may be useful, it means the hand is clearly better with it than without it. people on here seem very quick to throw their queens and jacks in the toilet in the auction. fwiw i think it's entirely normal to make a game try of some variety, but i think the methods are a joke.

lol of course a 2nd double shows extras. partner didn't bid. why didn't he bid? most likely because he has a low point count and he doesn't have a fit for any of your suits. you only make him take another action when you've got the shape and HCP to make it less dangerous and more worthwhile (i say worthwhile because even if partner has a fit good enough for you to make anything, his hand must be so crappy for him not to bid in the first place that they can just outbid you anyway). but op, the first double is entirely normal. you seem to be living in the 1930s when take-out doubles showed 4 cards in each unbid major.

yes a matchpoint double, or indeed a teams double, of 1♠.

does this have any logic behind a desire to punish people for bidding in a different way to you?

Clear 4h bid for north. 2 places to play. Spade suit is too bad for 4s. Yes game might not make - you've gone off before, right? Trying to stop on a dime in 3s is playing scared.