cleveritis

1S - 2N (gf 4 spades) - 3c short clubs - 4c (holy shtt are you kidding? shows all stuff outside clubs) - 4D (q), 4s (ive said it all), 5C (club control, 5D (ok ok i will help), 5N gsf - 7s

1N is a poor call. 1) lead, 2) you tell them you are 5-5 or so which could be worth a ton in the play (maybe several tricks), 1N far riskier... our job on this hand is to find a spade partscore or make a good lead - VERY unlikely that we buy the hand profitably in clubs.

I would open 4 and 6 without hesitation... the others would pass or open depending on vulnerability... 6 has fewest points, but Im happiest opening that with the texture. 2nd position vul, esp vul versus not, most conservative... 1st and 3rd green least.

I would open 4 and 6 without hesitation... the others would pass or open depending on vulnerability... 6 has fewest points, but Im happiest opening that with the texture.

2H is atrocious, you have a balanced hand. 2N automatic - no second choice. 2S is also atrocious. He too has a balanced hand. 2H SHOULD be single suited (6 or 7) - and partner should not introduce a weak suit opposite a strong single or two suiter. He should bid 2n, you bid 3N - and you find an excellent contract. More importantly with 2C - 2D - 2N - you find an easy 7X opposite partners Qtxxxxx of spades, or KJtxxxx of clubs... 2H makes that almost impossible.

Playing weak NT, it isn't easy at all. 1N 2c 2S - 3C (so opp clubs and hearts Kx of hearts is huge but 9/12 point in other suits - so 3N. The 6-4 should pass, but if he bids 4c it is easy peasy now. Playing strong, 1C - 2C (can have 4cm if game forcing) - 2N (bal, 4 clubs) - 3H (5/4 or 6/4 unbalanced) - 3S (concentration) - 4C (f), 4C (waiting), 4H (mandatory), 6c If you have to bid 1h on these cards, then 1c - 1H - 1NT - some bid that shows 6-4 forcing - 3S concentration and same result. So biddable - but the 6-4 needs to know about 4c, then pretty easy.

I would open a strong NT with the diamond hand. Then 2D, 2H, 3C, 3D, 4D, 4H, 4S, 5d (encouraging), 6D In your auction the jump to 6D is silly. Partner can have KJx, xx, Ajxxxx, kx for starters.

I think the worst bids are 3d pre-emptive because they can make light take out double, or 2n and pass 3d or complete to 3d over 3c because again - now marginal 5512 or 4513 can easily come in.

This is a pretty good line.

There is never a RIGHT answer on these weird hands - the percentage bid at love all is 3N. They are very likely cold for game - and we might even make +430 if they make the wrong lead/ switch. They need to have worked out what a cold double of 3N means, what 4m means, what 4M can or can't be... it is VERY hard... What do you bid holding AQJxx, KQtx, x, Axx over 1N - 3N by opps... partner leads heart from Kxx, J9xxxx, xx,xx... unlucky! if it goes double pass pass, I will bid 5 diamonds...