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Bridge and Sex Comparison


MrAce

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There are many things that makes Bridge more appealing than "sex". I found this post by Andrew Winock on his FB profile and added some more to his list. Please add if you can think of other funny comparisons.

 

  • You do not have to hide your magazines,
  • It is OK to hire a pro.
  • It is Ok to be a pro.
  • You can play with strangers
  • There is no bridge transmitted diseases
  • It is OK to change your partners
  • You can still do it in your 90's
  • Having something short can be a good thing.
  • Playing two over one is appropriate.
  • You will have fun and will be respected for squeezing others.
  • 'Fast arrival' is not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Everyone goes down sometimes!
  • Lying to your pd is OK.
  • You are allowed to ruff your or other people's Queen!
  • You are allowed to watch other pairs.
  • Your age or your gender does not necessarily make you vulnerable.
  • Being partner with same gender is OK regardless of your religion.
  • No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.
  • No one will shoot you for squeezing their spouse!

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According to his biographers, Ely Culbertson promoted Bridge on the basis of Sex, Snobbery and Women's Liberation. e.g. he encouraged suggestive terminology, especially about end-plays, for example entry squeeze strip.

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You don't have to worry about your 'love handles' (or your choice of lingerie)

Swapping partners is not frowned upon

You can have a 'stiff queen' in your hand without feeling embarrassed

Post mortems do not have involve people who have died [during the sexual act]

Simultaneous Pairs are not under any obligation to perform

No 'bottom' is going to be spanked

You can have a cup of tea and biscuits while playing bridge

 

but, on the flip side, playing bridge is more difficult than the Karma Sutra (so I've been told) :)

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There are many things that makes Bridge more appealing than "sex". I found this post by Andrew Winock on his FB profile and added some more to his list. Please add if you can think of other funny comparisons.

 

  • You do not have to hide your magazines,
  • It is OK to hire a pro.
  • It is Ok to be a pro.
  • You can play with strangers
  • There is no bridge transmitted diseases
  • It is OK to change your partners
  • You can still do it in your 90's
  • Having something short can be a good thing.
  • Playing two over one is appropriate.
  • You will have fun and will be respected for squeezing others.
  • 'Fast arrival' is not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Everyone goes down sometimes!
  • Lying to your pd is OK.
  • You are allowed to ruff your or other people's Queen!
  • You are allowed to watch other pairs.
  • Your age or your gender does not necessarily make you vulnerable.
  • Being partner with same gender is OK regardless of your religion.
  • No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.
  • No one will shoot you for squeezing their spouse!

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I may be old-fashioned, but I still think 2 is the best contract....

....soon to be followed by 1 if things turn out well.

Whatever you do, however badly things go, please don't use 1!

And remember, at the end of the day, you'll have to dig spouse's grave with 1...

 

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, she'll beat you if she's able

The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet

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