Amusing auctions

[Tramticket]

Often the most amusing auctions include insufficient bids.

 

We had an auction that started: 2NT*, (2♥), 1♠ ...

 

After I opened the bidding with 2NT, LHO asked lots of questions and established that the bid showed a weak two-suiter in the minors. She had spent so long on the interrogation that she forgot that she now needed to bid at the three level. The director was called and he explained the various options to my partner. The director's explanation took some time as there were several interruptions and questions, but eventually partner decided that he would accept the bid as it would allow him to show his weak hand with a spade suit at an economical level. However, in his excitement at getting the chance to show spades cheaply he pulled out the 1♠ bid!

[manudude03]

A perfectly normal auction in my strong club system is:

 

1♣ = 15+ bal/nat or 18+ any

... - 1♦ = any non-GF

1♥ = 18-20 any or 23+ bal

... - 1♠ = relay

1NT = 18-20 bal

... - 2♣ = Puppet Stayman

2♦ = no 5 card major

... - 2♥ = asks about spades and strength

2♠ = 4 spades

... - 2NT = nat invite

 

 

I can get auctions with that start in standard bidding too (well, up to 2C anyway), but the amusing part of this was the opponents co-operating.

[VixTD]

My partner and I were asked to stand in for a pair in a session of a teams competition at a neighbouring club. Playing against what I correctly judged to be a fairly inexperienced pair I picked up ♠KQ ♥A432 ♦K4 ♣AJ973. I doubled a weak no trump on my right and the auction proceeded (the way auctions sometimes do with inexperienced players):

 

1NT - X - 2♠ - P

2NT - X - 3♠ - X

3NT - X - AP

 

Every bid after the first double was made after tortured deliberation. I led ♣7 (4th highest) to partner's 10 and declarer's Q. Declarer set up dummy's spade suit and my ♦K was under dummy's AQ, so it was my last chance to get partner in to play a club through declarer's king. Partner was marked with 3-4 points, so I switched to ♥4 to partner's king. Partner returned a heart rather than a club and declarer made nine tricks instead of going three off.

 

I still wonder whether I should have played ace and another heart, but I thought that could have cost more if partner didn't have the king. My partner argued that I had led a low heart (showing strength in the suit) but a high club (denying strength). I thought she might have noticed that she couldn't see the heart 2 and 3, and that it's not normal to double 1NT and lead top of nothing. I felt our opponents deserved a tougher lesson for their bidding folly.

[mycroft]

A year ago or so, everyone playing natural(ish):

 

1♣-1NT-X-2♣!

P-P!-P

 

Only Making Spot (helped by knowing the club break, of course).

 

The thing is, 2♣ is " 'natural', 1+, to play unless doubled (and we don't know we have a fit), ALL OTHER CALLS natural and to play." Pass was, of course, "forced, says nothing about clubs." Yeah, we play systems on (including runout defence), even though 1NT overcall isn't weak.

 

Playing the same defence, red on white, many years ago:

 

1NT (11-14)-X-2♣!-P

P! - P

 

-400 for an average (field is 3NT= their way) on the 2-2. "I couldn't double or you'd find your fit" "yep, 2♥X is only 200."

[Fluffy]

I remember 2 hands from the tournament where I first met Frances, the one where Buratti-Lanzarotti were expelled. http://www.bridgebas...h__1#entry76464

 

Sadly the second hand is lost as happened to every old post with 2 hand diagrams when the database was moved and posts translated to new forum code, but I remember I had AQ9xxxx in spades and catched again partner with a good singleton (maybe the jack). The bidding was slightly different, it was something like 1♠-p-1NT-p-p-X-p-2♠, so I had spades behind this time

[jogs]

I love this hand from a club game. No one vul.

 

♠ Kxxxx ♥ Kxxxxx ♦ x ♣ x

 

I opened 1♠.

 

1♠ - X - 3♠

 

Pard had

 

♠ QJxx ♥ x ♦ Qxxx ♣ xxxx

 

1♠ - X - 3♠ - X

all pass

 

Hearts were 3-3 ace onsides. 3♠X=. Only lost 4 aces. Opponents were not pleased.

[Cyberyeti]

Real auction from the day I bought Bill Jacobs' Fantunes book: 1♦-7N. (Responder had 23 and knew that I certainly had my 14HCP and was not fooling around, as it was the first time we were playing this system!) Claimed approximately 16 tricks, of course.

 

We had 3N-7N, responder had a 4441 with 3 AKs.

[spade7]

Often the most amusing auctions include insufficient bids.

 

We had an auction that started: 2NT*, (2♥), 1♠ ...

 

After I opened the bidding with 2NT, LHO asked lots of questions and established that the bid showed a weak two-suiter in the minors. She had spent so long on the interrogation that she forgot that she now needed to bid at the three level. The director was called and he explained the various options to my partner. The director's explanation took some time as there were several interruptions and questions, but eventually partner decided that he would accept the bid as it would allow him to show his weak hand with a spade suit at an economical level. However, in his excitement at getting the chance to show spades cheaply he pulled out the 1♠ bid!

 

I once had the auction:

 

1♦ (P) 1♥ (4♠)

4NT (2♠) 5♣ (P)

6♥

 

The responder to blackwood decided to accept the insufficient bid and just answer the number of keycards.

[Cyberyeti]

We had the rare case where you end the auction at the one level but don't declare, unopposed 1♠-1♦-1♥-1♠, 2 players at the table saw the first spade as a club.

[ggwhiz]

I opened 1♣ in 3rd chair, partner responded 1♠ and my vul passed hand rho bid 1nt.

 

I smashed that with my solid 19 count and dummy hit with a 3-3-3-4 yarb.

 

Declarer with a 4-3-3-3 10 count.... That was a sandwich notrump, you CANNOT PASS!!!!!

[Kaitlyn S]

I opened 1♣ in 3rd chair, partner responded 1♠ and my vul passed hand bid 1nt.

 

I smashed that with my solid 19 count and dummy hit with a 3-3-3-4 yarb.

 

Declarer with a 3-4-3-3 10 count.... That was a sandwich notrump, you CANNOT PASS!!!!!

 

Declarer stated "You're such a chump.

Don't you know the Sandwich Notrump?"

Dummy retorted, smiling just a smidge

"Don't you know how to play bridge?"

[mycroft]

This is more an amusing TD story, but:

 

call to the table, auction has gone 1NT-p-1NT. What do we do? Well, you can accept it, otherwise... "Sure, I'll accept it."

 

Okay, continue the auction as if legal.

 

"Director, please!" Yes? "We passed it out. Who's declarer?"

 

The one who bid NT first, of course :-).

[mycroft]

We got invited by the club owner to their invitational game a month ago or so, so we went. We are clearly in the MP holdings that are "invited" to this game, but, well, you know.

 

At one table, the auction goes with me as dealer: 2♠-2♦-2♠-and righty is going to pull a card.

 

Okay, I'm not perfect. At about this point, I shrug and mutter "Okay". Everybody hears it, and righty looks at the auction again, and figures it out. "Wait, what's going on?" "Well, you could bid 2♦ again, see if it works a second time..."

 

We do in fact call the TD (as required, once attention has been drawn), with lefty still confused. TD comes, we explain, partner said "I decided to accept it - I'm allowed to, right?" "Yes, continue on." About this point, LHO finally says "Oh, it was *me* that made the insufficient bid!"

 

Yes, maybe we shouldn't be in this game too often...

[ggwhiz]

I can't resist posting 1 more retread cause it was the funniest thing I have EVER seen, bridge or not and it's not even an auction.

 

Partner opened 1♠, I raised to 2♠... float

 

Random club game and our opponents were a couple where he had obviously been beaking off at her and she had had enough. Upon arriving at the table, she (my lho) looked around the room, anywhere but at him.

 

Before the opening lead she detached 2 cards, put them face down and went back to surveying the room. He led, partner played from my dummy and she won with the top card and fired back the other one. Then she detached 2 more cards and put them face down on the table!

 

Partner won her switch, lost a finesse to her (top card), she fired back the other one and put 2 more cards face down!!

 

Play slowed to a crawl as she defended this thing for 2 in the glue like this double dummy right to the end. I'll NEVER forget the look of fear and loathing on my partners face (and her partners).

[Roby]

It might be just a joke from the days when Strong Pass systems were allowed. The bidding went:

Pass-(X)-Pass-Pass

Pass

Director!

[spade7]

It might be just a joke from the days when Strong Pass systems were allowed. The bidding went:

Pass-(X)-Pass-Pass

Pass

Director!

 

A forcing pass auction from a national event many years ago:

 

East: Pass

South: Pass

West: Pass

North: Pass

 

The catch: The points were split 13-24-0-3 around the table.

 

East opened a forcing pass. South made a trap pass holding 24 HCP hoping to double whatever EW bid. Unfortunately he was unable to do this in tempo and West worked out what was going on so ignored his partner's forcing pass and passed. North passed in 4th seat with 3 HCP.

[yadny]

this one started off slowly, but then gained steam:

1♣ - 1♦

1♥ - 3NT

6NT - 7NT

 

(one off)

 

another pleasing one was

 

1♥ - (X) - XX - (1♥)

[PeterAlan]

this one started off slowly, but then gained steam:

1♣ - 1♦

1♥ - 3NT

6NT - 7NT

Partner once treated me to

 

1NT (12-14) - 2♣ (Stayman)

2♠ - 7NT

 

I don't have a record of the hands, but I remember having to pick up 4 ♠s to K 10 in order to make it.

[Cyberyeti]

A couple of other funnies:

 

Round the table 4♠-5♥-5♠-6♥-6♠-7♥-X +2470

 

A hand where I don't remember the exact auction, but we bid and made a slam after my RHO had overcalled a perfectly legit 15-17 1N, I had an 841 hand with 8 hearts to the A10, partner had Qx it wasn't difficult to pick up the Kx in the hole on this auction.

[ArtK78]

Two quickies:

 

From a local round robin team match.

 

P - (P) - 1♠ - (P)

6♠

 

At which point the next player, a friend of mine, asked if 6♠ was Drury!

 

12 tricks.

 

The second was from a morning matchpoint side game at an ACBL Nationals many years ago.

 

My LHO passed out of turn. The TD was called and ruled that LHO was barred from the auction. The dealer, my RHO, then opened 1♣.

 

"Alert!" announced my LHO. Could be short!

[Zelandakh]

My LHO passed out of turn. The TD was called and ruled that LHO was barred from the auction.

Presumably only for one round of it...?

[ArtK78]

Presumably only for one round of it...?

This was about 40 years ago. The rule then (if I remember correctly) was that a pass out of turn resulted in the player being barred for the entire auction.

 

In any event, it really doesn't matter for the story.

 

 

 

 

[ggwhiz]

Two Canadians playing in the Boston NABC's both recent immigrants, one Polish and the other Scottish and they brought their accents with them.

 

Waiting for the first round to start, they are up against a Polish pair and it's like old home week as three of them are blathering on in Polish and catching up on news from the old country.

 

First hand, the Polish pair has a long free run auction with almost every bid alerted. Before leading our Polish-Canadian asks for a complete explanation and gets it.

 

The Scot erupts... I understand you guys are happy to see each other but once play begins you MUST speak English!

 

The Poles... But sir, we WERE!