This makes me cross

[1eyedjack]

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Just venting here, really.

 

On and off I mentor an inexperienced lady who is improving all the time but lacks confidence, particularly when it comes to standing up to CHO.

 

This hand took place in an Acol club tournament where you are expected to pay lipservice to playing acol bidding system unless a sub.

 

At the close of the auction, before dummy hit, North, who self-assesses himself as "advanced", launched into a tirade on how South absolutely must never pass 3C. At hand end he then also went on about the hand should be opened 1H. No debate about it.

 

All my mentee could do was simper apologies. It was just pure chance that I happened to be kibbing and could reassure her later. But for every occasion that I witness ...

 

Anyway, vent over.

[Zelandakh]

You need to be careful with reports like this Jack - it took me about 15-20 seconds to find the name of the person you are talking about. Also, Diana was at the table for the hand so it would have been very easy to ask for action within the club if something untoward took place. Also, FWiiW, your mentee currently has an IMP average of +0.96 making her, on paper at least, one of the stronger players in the club. The CHO has an average of +0.46, which is typical of decent intermediates. Naturally, these numbers do not take into account quality of opposition.

[gszes]

best bet is to :chat: with mentor and say something like

 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME HAMMERING ON A NEW PLAYER?????????? YOUR BEST BET RIGHT NOW IS TO VERY QUIETLY EXCUSE YOURSELF FROM THE TABLE BECAUSE ONE MORE PEEP AND THIS CONVERSATION IS BEING REPORTED===OH BTW WELCOME TO ENEMIES LIST" and see if that takes care of the problem.

[diana_eva]

He can't excuse himself from the tourney. Just sayin' :) Also, I think jack was the mentor and north was just someone giving unsolicited lectures.

 

I doubt anyone wd care about reporting bad bridge advice too :D But in rest I agree that might work.

[blackshoe]

If North has a beef, it's with South's mentor, who is "obviously" (from North's point of view) not doing his job ;) .

 

When North complains to said mentor, he can just tell North where to stick his opinion. :D

[1eyedjack]

You need to be careful with reports like this Jack - it took me about 15-20 seconds to find the name of the person you are talking about.

Ouch. Thought I was being careful. Clearly wasn't. My bad. Don't know how you did it but don't tell me in open forum.

 

 

Also, FWiiW, your mentee currently has an IMP average of +0.96 making her, on paper at least, one of the stronger players in the club.

Good news. Maybe I should monitor that more. Like to think that I may have contributed, but prob. hubris.

 

I think some of the other responders have wires crossed. I was the mentor, in the gallery, not giving any advice at the table (could not: tourney, kibber chat barred. Any chat involving me would have to be one way from table to gallery) Not mentoring this session, just happened to be there.

 

Anyway, not interested in making enemies. I am certain that North's opinions were genuinely held, if wrong, and I am also certain that North had only the best of motives in imparting his misguided advice.

 

I guess I am cross mostly at myself. While I may have contributed to building South up to a reasonable player I have utterly failed to instil in her any confidence in her decisions.

[eagles123]

-

[1eyedjack]

Can we lay off the personal attacks please I really did not intend to humiliate

[blackshoe]

As far as I'm concerned, this person, whoever he, she, or it is, remains anonymous. Life is too short for me to go digging into whatever to figure out who some poster here is talking about. And the fact that somebody did so, and now accuses the OP of telling tales on a specific person, is ludicrous.

[oryctolagi]

Off-topic, I'm afraid, but this makes me wonder: is there a way for me to read my own IMP average? I can't see any.

[manudude03]

Off-topic, I'm afraid, but this makes me wonder: is there a way for me to read my own IMP average? I can't see any.

 

On the BBO homepage, click My Hands. There, provided you are logged in, you can check anyone's hands played in a specified period.

[Zelandakh]

Off-topic, I'm afraid, but this makes me wonder: is there a way for me to read my own IMP average? I can't see any.

Go to the MyHands page and after logging in select a time period of one month. Your average at this moment over that period is +0.04 IMPs per hand.

 

To Jack, take a look at your own MyHands profile and you will see why it was so easy. ;)

 

To Roland, you are right that there are a few players who think they are (much) better than they are but the vast majority of the club are actually pretty nice, so to me it is still once of the best places on the site for a relaxed game.

[oryctolagi]

I don't know who Roland is, but if "Roland" = "Eagles123", I would say to him: I've only recently joined BBO and played entirely in the 'ACOL club', I've played several hands at different tables so far, and on the whole I find my fellow-players a thoroughly decent group of folks, fully understanding of my modest skill and my many mistakes, complimenting good (or lucky!) play, and apologising when they make a mistake. Of course there are always exceptions - I've commented on one or two!

 

So Eagles123's comment above is a bit out-of-order, I'd say, though he does mitigate a bit in his edit.

 

I have re-posted about this IMP average question in the BBO Support section of this forum, and got my answers there. Thanks for the tips.

[helene_t]

It happens all the time in life bridge also. If someone lectureship his partner it's odds on that the advice is bad and that the lecturer is a worse player than his partner. It is really difficult to remain quiet when a newbee is victim of such.

[mycroft]

One of my rules for novices is "90% of questions that start 'Why did you...' or 'Why didn't you...' have the correct answer 'Because I'm an idiot.' It's what partner wants to hear, and he won't shut up until he does. You don't have to give him the second half of the sentence, which is '...for agreeing to play with you.' "

- Now, there's a note that if you're actively being taught by someone, or actively asking for lessons from someone, that that's much of the other 10% (because what we're looking for is the thought process that led to the wrong decision, so we can explain why it's wrong). However, it's pretty obvious quickly whether a person's question is the 'admit you were wrong' or the 'that doesn't make sense to me, help me educate you' type based on the followup; especially because you invite lessons, not the other way around.

 

One my other rules for novices is "Find one or two people whose bridge you admire and who you trust as people. Bring issues that come up to those people, and listen. Ignore Everybody Else who wants to give you a lesson." - again, partly because for many people, the lesson isn't the important part, the admission of superiority is; but also because what that person is saying may in fact be correct - for a different version of whatever-system-you're-playing than the one being taught by your mentors. And there's nothing worse than a C player who clearly has taken on board every single "this is useful" theory and gadget she's heard of from anybody she's ever played with.

 

Seems appropriate here. I'm sorry for your student.

[Realitette]

I have to empathize with your mentee. I really, really want to play. Many of the players are downright scary and rude. Getting ejected if you make the bid, but didn’t bid high enough. Bid high enough, made the bid, but could have won one more trick. The fast ejections if the opponents go set and they feel it’s your fault for not bidding high enough against them. I hold my breath every time I enter a real game, waiting for the insults. Now I find myself marginalized playing robots. I play well enough to have 31/2 points, but the game is not the same. The robots can be predicted to an extent and you are learning how to play with and against a program, with three players in the game, playing the same game. It’s not enriching. It doesn’t improve your game. It’s isolating and lonely.

[1eyedjack]

I suppose that is one way for BBO to make money - drive everyone to the robot games. (not serious, btw)

 

Personally I spend the vast majority of my time playing robots out of choice, having nothing to do with human etiquette or lack. And I derive great enjoyment doing so. But that is not for everyone.

 

I see you appear to have only been around on BBO for a little less than a month. That is probably too short a period to amass a coterie of friends with whom to play away from sharks and idiots.

 

Hosting your own table may help. In one of the clubs other than the Main Bridge Club. It won't stop your partners (or oppo) leaving, but it will stop you getting ejected. And it will allow you to prevent known idiots from joining in the first place.