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If you bid 3D here, partner will hang you in 3nt.

 

I balanced with this shape and point count but with primer suits and went for -300 in 3nt.

You are correct, except for the portrayal. If you bid 3D here, you will hang in 3NT of your own doing. It is the expected continuation, and could work out well; but I doubt it.

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I must be a sucker, then since I balance with 3.

 

If partner, who knows that I am in balancing seat, bids 3N, I expect to make it a goodly number of times.

 

3 can be bad in itself, let alone 3N, but why get out of bed with that attitude?

 

Partner knows this is mps and that we are balancing. If your partners frequently put you in no-hope 3N games after this sort of balancing, then I suggest you have a discussion with partner about the meaning of the word 'hang'. He should NOT stretch to bid 3N at mps.

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passing an 11 count at balancing seat with singleton spade would never cross my mind, but if you guys keep giving reason I might rethink of it next time.

I wouldn't call it an 11-count; it looks like a 9-count with a dubious stiff queen in LHO's suit to me. Partner figures to have 4+ Spades, and couldn't bid 2NT over 2S. He might be just short of that, and it would not be "hanging balancer" --but rather reasonable Bridge to advance with 3NT. Or, LHO is waiting to nail you and partner with (5-4)2-2 has nowhere to go.

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Yeah, you've got only 9 working HCP (stiff Q doesn't seem to be worth much in front of a vul 1st seat weak 2).

 

But the hand is 5-5, so I'm bidding 3 . Partner should take into consideration that 3 may be bid more on distribution than strength.

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If I balance with 3D and partner bids 3NT I'd expect it to make a lot of the time. That's not my worry about bidding 3D, I'd be much more worried if it ended the auction.
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