Scarabin Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 (edited) We all know that brevity is the very soul of wit. I think wit can also be sharp, even cruel. It has to surprise,perhaps shock. It almost certainly has to be spontaneous. The French have a phrase "the wisdom of the staircase": this means the witty remark you only think of as you descend the staircase after your meeting/conversation has ended. I know of two possible approaches. The first,which I call the Bob Hope approach is to have an armoury of witty sayings and trot these out on suitable(?) occasions. I was once quite shocked to hear him tell the archbishop of Dublin to "Vamoose peasant". My own approach is much more dangerous and involves blurting out involuntary remarks with no prior consideration. In fact I don't even know what I am going to say. Example, many years ago I attended a discussion of new tax laws which would relieve Australian life assurance companies of all taxes,income & capital gains. At the end of the discussion I heard myself saying "Oh well, there's only two things certain in this life: death and taxes". For a horrible moment I wondered if I'd said something truly half-witted but luckily my colleagues started to laugh. Perhaps this means inappropriate statements can pass as wit. One of our past Prime Ministers was my role model for wit. In an interview he got away with the priceless "No,no, I did not say I was a good prime minister, I only said I was the best prime minister, Australia ever had." He could have prepared this in advance but he was consistently witty Have you any anecdotes or views to share? Edited March 4, 2013 by Scarabin 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike777 Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 wit is harddont give up. We, Me, yearn for more of it. You never truely understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother. --Albert Einstein --- I find many wit find Christ an easy target, insert Muslim.. none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1eyedjack Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 Wit and pith go hand in hand. Unless you have a lisp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenberg Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 I dunno if I have any views, but one of my favorites: Dorothy Parker was told that Calvin Coolidge had died. She responded "How could they tell?". Another bit about Coolidge I just read recently: President and Mrs. Coolidge were on an agricultural tour. Mrs. Coolidge was looking at a large number of chickens and asked how often roosters copulate. "Several times a day". "Please tell Mr. Coolidge". So they did. "Always with the same hen?". "No, with several different hens". "Go tell Mrs. Coolidge". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarabin Posted March 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 Have edited my OP to better reflect what I meant to say. Not exactly a triumph of wit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenMan Posted March 4, 2013 Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 I consider myself a wit. My friends say I'm half right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vampyr Posted March 4, 2013 Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 My own approach is much more dangerous and involves blurting out involuntary remarks with no prior consideration. In fact I don't even know what I am going to say. This is called Tourette's Syndrome, and I should be more concerned about it if I were you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycroft Posted March 4, 2013 Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 My favourite Coolidge story is the "You lose." one. From Dorothy Parker, on the other hand, there are too many to choose a favourite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarabin Posted March 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 This is called Tourette's Syndrome, and I should be more concerned about it if I were you. I wanted to upvote your post to applaud your wit but feared it might be misconstrued and encourage an undesirable trend. By the way your post is inaccurate: if you were me you would open a topic entitled "What is wit?". It ocurred to me it might be fun just to report your post. What would the mentor do? Delete your post as personal and assure you that he does have a sense of humour, or try to convince me your post is funny. In the end....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vampyr Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 It ocurred to me it might be fun just to report your post. What would the mentor do? Delete your post as personal and assure you that he does have a sense of humour, or try to convince me your post is funny. In the end....... Report it if you like. It was not intended to be funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarabin Posted March 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 Report it if you like. It was not intended to be funny. Your lack of manners amazes me. Are you sufficiently qualified to make these statements or are you just a miserable dried up specimen of doubtful humanity? What a stupid person you are. Do you really think your little shafts of venom improve these topics? If you were me or I were you, I hope I would have the good grace to commit suicide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vampyr Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 So you also type involuntary remarks with no prior consideration! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarabin Posted March 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 So you also type involuntary remarks with no prior consideration! Your lack of manners amazes me.Are you sufficiently qualified to make these statements or are you just a miserable specimen of dried up doubtful humanity? What a stupid person you are. Do you really think your little shafts of venom improve these topics? If you were me or I were you, I hope I would have the good grace to commit suicide. These remarks have been considered in detail and fit you, and your posting record. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeh Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 If you were me or I were you, I hope I would have the good grace to commit suicide. When I read the first post in which this appeared, I thought he had just made a huge blunder while trying to be funny. Then I read the second post. This has got to be the worst post of the year. Truly a disgusting, shameful thing to post. I gather that Scarabin is not exactly a youngster: I find it difficult to believe that he hasn't known families impacted by suicide, and, if so, then to even suggest to someone that he or she kill themselves is utterly grotesque. Even if he posted in ignorance, it is appalling enough. This warrants if not banning, then a suspension, at least imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarabin Posted March 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 When I read the first post in which this appeared, I thought he had just made a huge blunder while trying to be funny. Then I read the second post. This has got to be the worst post of the year. Truly a disgusting, shameful thing to post. I gather that Scarabin is not exactly a youngster: I find it difficult to believe that he hasn't known families impacted by suicide, and, if so, then to even suggest to someone that he or she kill themselves is utterly grotesque. Even if he posted in ignorance, it is appalling enough. This warrants if not banning, then a suspension, at least imo. I'm not proud of these posts and I would be happy to delete posts #7 & #9 to #13. However I suggest you consider: have you encountered Tourette's syndrome, and perhaps you should re-read and comprehend what I actually said: that in certain circumstances I would kill myself. Other than this be "holier than thou" as much as you like. It must be a rare experience for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WellSpyder Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 When I read the first post in which this appeared, I thought he had just made a huge blunder while trying to be funny. Then I read the second post. This has got to be the worst post of the year....I must admit those were almost exactly my thoughts on reading vampyr's contributions to this thread... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluffy Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 ahh the wisdom of the staircase, not on;y it is painy to realice what you should had said when it is too late, it is also painy to realice you are not going to have 12 years old again, so finding out the answer is not going to help you ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenberg Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 My wife brought a movie home from the library: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Since it is a scriot it doesn't count as spontaneous wit but I liked the following: A young couple is trying to get the wife's mother to spend more time (she spends a lot already0 with the grandkids and suggests that all she, the mother, is doing otherwise is looking for a new husband. Husband: How many husbands have you had anyway?Mother-in-law: Including my own? The move is far more than a collection of one-liners and I recommend it., 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barmar Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 I thought Vampyr's comment was meant to be sarcastic, but since it seems to have started a flame war I'm locking the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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