most hideous bolthead atrocity of ALL-TIME

[razorsharp]

Over the last 3 years I have collected over 200 of the most hilarious, egregious crimes ever perpetrated by Max Headbolt. But ACBL Matchpoint Robot game #2469 Sunday morning was the LIVERWORST!! On bd. 4, Bag-o'-Bolts held !Sxxxx, !HKQxx, !DAxx, !CQ10. I had opened 1!D and after 1!D - 1!H; 1!S - 3!S; 4!H by me.....4!S?? So 5!H by me yada-yada-yada. Rivet-Head wouldn't quit, and ran me all the way up the death spiral to 7NT X, (only down -800!) when 4!H was cold. Didn't help that I'd psyched 1!S on stiff Q, but I've lived thru this horror scores of times - so what's new?

Funny you should ask! On bd. 8 I held !SAQxxxx, !HKQJ, !DAxx, !Cx. RHO opened 1!C so I overcalled 1!S. Scrap-Iron dutifully Q-bid 2!C, the !S limit-raise, so now I fancied a jump-shift of 3!D, fearing a !D OL vs 4!S (and rightly so!). But first I prudently checked out the explanation window, which told me 3!D: "5+!S, 8-17 HCP, biddable !D, 9-19 total points." SOLD!

OMG - the *****in' Tin-Can crackled, cackled & PASSED LIKE A SHOT then tabled !SKT9xx, !Hxx, !DQxx, !CATx for -100 in my 3-3 fit, and my 2nd ice-cold zorrini!! I have no idea how I still got up to 60%. How can the ACBL actually be rewarding results in such a bridge travesty??

Pleeze, Fred, pleeeeze short-circuit the Terminator and pile its twisted wreckage on the scrap-heap!

[lalldonn]

Lol! Fred please let GIB know I am psyching every time so he can stop believing anything I bid. It's happened 200 times already but I won't stop doing it so GIB has to change. PLEASE FRED PLEASE!!!

[ArtK78]

I have a rule with live partners. It is that if either of us psyches and we get a bad result it is the fault of the psycher no matter what happens after the psyche.

 

Perhaps if you are trying to figure out the problem on this board you should look in a mirror.

[Lord Molyb]

Over the last 3 years I have collected over 200 of the most hilarious, egregious crimes ever perpetrated by Max Headbolt, but ACBL Matchpoint Robot game #2469 Sunday morning was the LIVERWORST!! On bd. 4, Bag-o'-Bolts held ♠xxxx, ♥KQxx, ♦Axx, ♣Q10. I had opened 1♦ and after 1♦ - 1♥; 1♠ - 3♠; 4♥ by me.....4♠?? So 5♥ by me yada-yada-yada. Rivet-Head wouldn't quit, and ran me all the way up the death spiral to 7NT X, (only down -800!) when 4♥ was cold. Didn't help that I'd psyched 1♠ on stiff Q, but I've lived thru this horror scores of times - so what's new?

 

Funny you should ask! On board 8 I held ♠AQxxxx, ♥KQJ, ♦Axx, ♣x. RHO opened 1♣ so I overcalled 1♠. Scrap-Iron dutifully cue-bid 2♣, the ♠ limit-raise, so now I fancied a jump-shift of 3♦, fearing a ♦ OL vs 4♠ (and rightly so!). But first I prudently checked out the explanation window, which told me 3♦: "5+!S, 8-17 HCP, biddable ♦, 9-19 total points." SOLD!

OMG - the ****in' Tin-Can crackled, cackled & PASSED LIKE A SHOT then tabled ♠KT9xx, ♥xx, ♦Qxx, ♣ATx for -100 in my 3-3 fit, and my 2nd ice-cold zorrini!! I have no idea how I still got up to 60%. How can the ACBL actually be rewarding results in such a bridge travesty??

 

Please, Fred, pleeeeze short-circuit the Terminator and pile its twisted wreckage on the scrap-heap!

 

I took the liberty of formatting the post because I couldn't read it; I also corrected some spelling/grammar mistakes.

Your first deal is just stupid, why would you psyche a 1♠ bid? Just support hearts, and if the opponents bid spades then you still know what your partner has based on his bidding.

The second deal is just unfortunate and that is the robot's fault, as 3♦ isn't the WORST call I've heard today (that would be board four), and you probably got a 60% because quite a few people somehow got to a not-making slam.

And lol, "liverworst" is hilarious.

[dustinst22]

This post was hilarious. I hope this guy writes more. Total entertainment. Love his style.

[ahydra]

Seems GIB could use a meta-agreement "when trump is agreed, we play there" (or in NT, if the agreed suit is a minor). That would certainly solve the second one - passing 3D is just silly when spades are agreed.

 

ahydra