A new beginning

[CSGibson]

So I just exited from my most successful long-term partnership, and am looking to start another, but I am now in a position I have never been before:

 

I want more than just to enjoy my sessions (although that is important), but I also want to continue to be a part of a top level partnership locally, and I want to have a chance to place in a national event if things break right.

 

Those goals have built up as a result of my own player development, and the success my previous partner and I had. I've been through previous partnerships, but I've almost always been the one approached to start a new partnership, or had a 3rd party play matchmaker, and have entered none of those with the ambition I now harbor. With my new goals, there are perhaps 10-15 local players with whom I feel like I could meet my competitive goals. Those numbers are further diluted by the fact that I demand active ethics from my partnership, and by the fact that some of those players already have partnership commitments.

 

I'm sure other forum posters have been in similar situations. How have you handled it? Do you just float for a while until an opportunity arises, or do you immediately start approaching likely candidates? My situation is further complicated by the fact that my local reputation has taken a quantum leap forward in the past few years, but that if I don't maintain some success, I might become out-of-sight, out-of-mind, making my future prospects less appealing. I am personally leaning toward actively approaching potential partners, but am looking for any useful thoughts.

[Phil]

Honestly, this is like looking for a job for me. Its much easier and more efficient if you are in a partnership looking for a change, than if you are out on your own. When you are solo (in both arenas), there are questions about "why aren't they playing (working) now"?

 

How long did your previous partnership last? Why exactly did it break up? Were your expectations unmet, or was it a function of personality?

 

PM me if you re more comfortable discussing offline.

[barmar]

It seems like you have 3 choices:

 

1) Find a good player who's not in a regular partnership. As Phil says, why wouldn't someone have snapped them up already? But you could get lucky.

 

2) Find a good player who's already in a regular partnership, but is willing to play more bridge with another partner. But this could be tricky, since he may already be playing with his other partner when you want him for some tournament. But I know a number of good players who have 2-3 regular partners, and rotate among them.

 

3) Approach someone and suggest that they dump their current partner and switch to you. But maybe some of these players are tiring of their current partners, you could ask around to find out if there are rumors of strife in some good partnerships.

[CSGibson]

My previous partnership lasted a little more than 2 years. It broke up for a number of different reasons, including worry about the ability to maintain a high level of play in that partnership, age difference (which are related), style issues, and communication/personality issues that slowly built up over time and were unable to be fully diffused. We parted amicably, but I don't think anybody who has seen us play in the past 8 months would be surprised that we went our separate ways, because there were visible signs of frustration poking through two normally level-headed and friendly people.

 

As for expectations, we have been one of the most successful local partnerships, winning our past two open GNT trials and one of the past two NAP slots (our district has had 3 playing sites, with the winner of each site getting a spot, rather than the traditional 1 site/3 spot allocation model), but that has not translated very well nationally - our GNT teams did not win a knockout match in either year, and we have about a 50% success rate in getting to the 2nd day of nationally rated pairs events, having never placed in the money spots. Additionally, over the past year our play has leveled off, and had even been deteriorating slightly.

[Quartic]

I feel like I'm in a similar situation - my regular partner is going to university soon, so I want to start a new serious partnership. I play with various good players at my club occasionally, but nothing regular has developed. I think the biggest problem is the large age gap between me (I'm in my 20s) and the rest of the club - it makes it less likely that a potential partner will have the same or complementary goals.

 

What I do want is to get into a strong partnership where we both respect each other; are both willing to put time and effort into bidding and cardplay together; and where both of us want to become competitive at a higher than club level.

 

Unfortunately I don't know how to find/create such a partnership.

[Quantumcat]

Regular partnerships are like marriage - you don't go up to people you are only casual friends with and ask them to marry you. Rather, you date different people with no expectations of staying with them, but when you find someone you like and are happy continuing to be with (and they feel the same), then you decide to get married.

With bridge partnerships, you probably ask someone you know is a decent player to play one particular event with. You practice together for a few weeks beforehand, then play. If you both enjoyed the experience, then one of you will ask the other to play a different event later, and the other will say yes - thus beginning a partnership. There's also no rules (like marriage) that say you can't have more than one regular partner - most people I know have two or three regular partners, that they play different sorts of events with. So there's nothing wrong with asking someone you want to try playing with to play, say, the pairs section of an event if they are only entered in the teams section - maybe their teams partner can't play the pairs and they couldn't be bothered asking someone just for the pairs. But they would say yes if asked.

 

I feel like I'm in a similar situation - my regular partner is going to university soon, so I want to start a new serious partnership. I play with various good players at my club occasionally, but nothing regular has developed. I think the biggest problem is the large age gap between me (I'm in my 20s) and the rest of the club - it makes it less likely that a potential partner will have the same or complementary goals.

 

What I do want is to get into a strong partnership where we both respect each other; are both willing to put time and effort into bidding and cardplay together; and where both of us want to become competitive at a higher than club level.

 

Unfortunately I don't know how to find/create such a partnership.

If you don't mind playing solely online, I can probably find a couple of Australian youth players for you to try out. If you developed a good partnership, and you have a bit of money, you are welcome to come to Australia for Youth Week - an annual get-together for all of our youth players, a couple of kiwi ones and one or two internationals. It is ostensibly for selecting the Australian Youth Team, but mostly about drinking, partying, playing games and having an awesome time with people we only see a few times a year. It happens in late January in Canberra. This should be a drawcard for anyone in the Northern Hemisphere - January is our hottest month. The week after Youth Week is the Summer Festival of Bridge, our second-biggest national event. If you have some free time (i.e. you don't have a serious full-time job yet) you can also stick around for the Gold Coast Congress in late February - this is also a lot of fun, because you'll be staying near the beach and there are lots of parties every night of the event, and also good bridge, it is our biggest national event and it attracts many, many internationals.

[Siegmund]

You are absolutely right about how hard it is, and also about "but that if I don't maintain some success, I might become out-of-sight, out-of-mind" -- I was getting some great offers in 2004 and 2005, wasnt able to travel to any regionals in 2006 and 2007 because of two job changes, and in 2008 nobody came calling. (I just moved again, in February 2011, and it has taken a solid year and a half to get anything in the way of a new reliable partner.)

 

In the meantime I have resorted to weekly dates online to practice with someone to play a regional with this fall. You may want to try that as a way to keep sharp while you are hunting for a serious live partner.

[Quartic]

If you don't mind playing solely online, I can probably find a couple of Australian youth players for you to try out.

Thanks for the offer, I don't mind playing solely online, and I can probably get online at a time suitable for both timezones. PM me with more details?

 

If you developed a good partnership, and you have a bit of money, you are welcome to come to Australia for Youth Week

Unfortunately I'm unlikely to be in the financial situation to be able to fund a trip to Australia any time soon.

[SteveMoe]

Do you know an expert or grand master who might help you diagnose your game? They can help with networking.

Have you considered giving back to your club? Seminars, lectures, articles for the local newsletter can help you reach a larger audience and keep both you and your reputation fresh.

 

Nothing beats winning big events. The more people see you win, the more pluses you gain. People notice you are playing in the finals more than they are.

 

Many clubs keep MP lists and you'de be surprised how many high level players are also partnerless...they can help you improve your game and get you some recognition and connections.

 

Finally, ask. The worst that can happen is they say no.

 

None of this happens on the web the same way.

 

I find it critically important to play with partners who respects balance and collaboration. No egos need apply.

[sasioc]

I feel like I'm in a similar situation - my regular partner is going to university soon, so I want to start a new serious partnership. I play with various good players at my club occasionally, but nothing regular has developed. I think the biggest problem is the large age gap between me (I'm in my 20s) and the rest of the club - it makes it less likely that a potential partner will have the same or complementary goals.

 

What I do want is to get into a strong partnership where we both respect each other; are both willing to put time and effort into bidding and cardplay together; and where both of us want to become competitive at a higher than club level.

 

Unfortunately I don't know how to find/create such a partnership.

 

I'd advise getting to know some of the English juniors a bit if it's practical for you to do so. Even if you don't find a partner directly, getting involved with the junior scene could give you contacts within a wider community of people who are perhaps more likely to share your goals.

[CSGibson]

Anything I have to watch for in regards to a "rebound" partnership?

[aguahombre]

Anything I have to watch for in regards to a "rebound" partnership?

Yes. That he/she has the same proclivities which your previous partner had. This is not a derisive comment, because I have no idea what those traits might have been.

[CSGibson]

Yes. That he/she has the same proclivities which your previous partner had. This is not a derisive comment, because I have no idea what those traits might have been.

 

I assume you meant that I should look to make sure that the person does NOT have the same proclivities as my previous partner? If you mean something different, please feel free to expand on your comments.

[aguahombre]

I assume you meant that I should look to make sure that the person does NOT have the same proclivities as my previous partner? If you mean something different, please feel free to expand on your comments.

You asked what to watch for. You then decide whether they are good ones or not. If you watch for them, find them, and reject that choice fine. If you watch for them, don't find them, and choose that person, fine.

 

I agree my answer might have been clearer if your question was about what to "watch out for".

[barmar]

Why is watching for proclivities specifically important for rebound partnerships?

[aguahombre]

Why is watching for proclivities specifically important for rebound partnerships?

Because, in one's haste to begin anew, one might overlook indicators that this partnership will have the same drawbacks as the previous one.

 

Ask anyone who has ever divorced.

[ggwhiz]

It's been a long time since I've been in that boat.

 

The first time as a promising rookie, I let an occasional partner/mentor and very good player who's game I most respected know that I was looking. He knew my style and preferences and quietly suggested to a guy that we try a game or three. That turned into a fine 5 year run until he left town but especially for the desire and ability to travel and play in the big ones.

 

The next time I let a most respected guy know I was in the hunt he said "How about me?"

 

As that one ran it's course due to personal circumstances we played in a club game and after the round against a newly arrived and fetching lass he said "We're going to the NABC's in Philly next week. Would you care to join us?" We've been togethere ever since.

 

In short I recommend recruiting an agent instead of looking yourself. It's easier to back away when a few games show that it's not the right fit if it was suggested by a 3rd party and that did happen on the way to the ones that worked for me.

[mr1303]

It's just like dating. Someone should set up ebridgepartners.com

[sathyab]

 

 

Nothing beats winning big events. The more people see you win, the more pluses you gain. People notice you are playing in the finals more than they are.

 

 

 

If by winning you mean winning an event like say even a 2-day LM pairs at the Fall or Spring Nationals, yes people do notice it. But there are less spectacular accomplishments like say getting to the second day of Reisinger for instance, finishing high in a 3-day Open Pairs event, losing to a high seed in Spingold by a narrow margin that are not as easily noticed. These performances are respectable even if they don't make the headlines, but how much mileage you get out of them seems to vary a lot. I happen to have first hand knowledge of a team that was runner-up in the Fall Nationals in a two-day Open event not too long ago, that not all members received anywhere close to the same recognition. A couple of the players have gotten a lot of recognition, but one of them still feels (or made to feel) that it was more a one-off performance more due to luck than his merit.

[MickyB]

Yes. That he/she has the same proclivities which your previous partner had.

 

My experience suggests that the opposite is more likely - in the short term, you'll value the qualities that your ex-partner lacked much more highly than the ones he possessed.

[keylime]

I think one of the critical things to address is compatibility.

 

One of the secrets of Larry and I's success is that we have never once, not once! been angry or untoward towards each other, and we've been national pards now for 7 years. Yet locally, he and I have had very opposite success - he played with many excellent players in Knoxville, while I can't even get a sniff in a good partnership. I think a major part of this dichotomy has been the fact that there is almost a clique-like feel that has happened here in DC, and it is super hard to break into the groups to get the better players and teams. I strongly suspect personalities has much to do with it too.

 

After compatibility, you need to find someone that has both specific and obtainable goals that are similar as you.

[Quantumcat]

It certainly helps to get a reputation as a good partner - I know a guy who is probably about the same skill level as me, but he gets REALLY good partners for any event he wants (partners that win nationals easily --- if he was playing with peers he would be happy finishing in the top quarter), simply because he is so nice and so pleasant to be around. He is basically a sponsor but pays with charm instead of money. Takes a few years to work up a reputation like that but every journey begins with a single step!

[kidd2012]

It's just like dating. Someone should set up ebridgepartners.com

 

That's actually a very good idea. Or maybe BBO could host such a service.

[Fluffy]

The way to approach this is to play here and there with all candidates, the ones you feel more comforable and the ones that feel more comfortable with you will play more often, to the point where you start to make unnusual agreements and become a partnership.