What is your funniest bridge related incident?

[inquiry]

Ralph, number 2.

 

I had a steady girlfriend at this time, who I later married, but Ralph was without a female friend. So when his sister's friend invited him to bring a partner over to their dorm room (This was in college) to play bridge, he forced me to go with him. He saw this as a way to connect with members of the opposite sex.

 

Well we went to play and on the second or third hand, one of the lovely young ladies says, in first seat, "I inkle a heart". Well, what the heck was that we wondered? So we asked. She replied that an inkle was like a pass, except that it showed nearly a bid in the suit inkled.

 

Well, this was ok with me, as it helped me play the hand, and besides, as "bad" as Ralph was, we were light years ahead of these young ladies in ability. Ralph, however argued about inkling for a while. Finally, after they insisted this was the rules of bridge, adn they do it all the time, we let them do it.

 

Finally a hand came up where one of them "inkled a double" of us, and then the other one did double us, and of course we went down. Now we are ahead a zillion points, and this was really more a chance for a potential date thing in the future between Ralph and one of the ladies, so it didn't bother me, but Ralph was very upset. Anyway, so he finally decides to get even at the table. So a few hands later, one of them opens 1H and the other jumps to 3H forcing raise. So Ralph "inkles" a double on absoluetly nothing. The opener, studies her hand, and entually passes, as do I (I had extremely little myself). The 3H bidder looks at her and, given we were thinking maybe of doubling 3H, decides to pass....

 

Well, of course it was a psychic inkle double... and when the girls wrapped up 12 tricks without breaking a sweat, they accused Ralph of cheating. Well, what else could it be? He tried to defend his actions, but the pleasant evening was destoyed, and he never did get that date with either of the girls.

 

To this day, a few of us who know this story still joke about the inkle bids.

 

Ben

[pclayton]

In Northern Montana I was 17 playing in a 4 table (big turnout by the way) Howell with "Tom", one of the local Life Masters (by playing for 20 years, not by skill) and eager to impress this young up-and-comer.

 

The auction was approximately:

 

 

LHO.....Tom.....RHO.....Me

1♠.....2♥.....Pass.....4♥

All Pass

 

The rest of the hand doesnt matter much, but I put down ♥A652 as trump.

 

RHO leads the A♠ and LHO encourages. Tom ruffs the spade at Trick 2.

 

Tom leads the Q♥ from his hand, and......thinks, and thinks......

 

I can tell from the spots and my spade holding that RHO has some length. Hmm, Axx or Axxx and righty didn't raise? Doesn't sound like RHO has much more over there. I telepathically transmit 3 feet across the table: "...........Accceeeee.......Acccceeeeeee"

 

Tom, plays.....the ACE! Eureka!

 

Unfortunately, RHO had Jx. I died from laughter. :) :)

[inquiry]

In college, I had a very reasonable regular partner, who was a very sound and consistent player. He and I would play against Ralph and Ralph's regular partner most nights (if there was no club game, and no big exam then next day). And often all weekend, except for the gator football games (back then, Florida was not much of a powerhouse, but it was always fun).

 

Anyway, to spice it up, we played for money. Now, I don't remember how high the stakes were, but they were very low indeed.. on a great night, you might win five to ten bucks if you slaughtered them.... It really was just a fun way to keep score.

 

Anyway, one day, Ralph loaned my partner his unbrella (it rains for a few minutes everyday each day it seems) to go to class. IT had stopped raining by the time class was over, and yes, my partner forgot the umbrella and it was lost. It was a run of the mill umbrella, that you can pick up from any street vendor in Florida, but Ralph insisted that his mother got that umbrella for him in England, and that it was a priceless heirloom. Anyway, he insisted he she paid 80 bucks for it, and that my partner owed him 80 bucks. I assure you it looks just like my umbrella, and I offered my umbrella to my partner to say, "look I found it" , but he is a good christian guy and wouldn't do it. So they started to run a Tally between themselves when we played for money, and they doubled the stakes. In a very short while, the 80 dollar deficient was erased (meaning I had won 40 dollars in the same time period), and all of a sudden, the other pair decided, they wouldn't play for money anymore.

 

I think seeing how often and how consistently they were getting whooped, made them reflect on playing for money. So not only did this lost umbrella cost my partner 80 in wining, it cost me (eventually) a source of my coke money.

 

Ben

[pclayton]

Coca-Cola expensive in FLA in the 70's Ben? :) :)

[inquiry]

Coca-Cola expensive in FLA in the 70's Ben? :) :)

I drinked a whole lot of them.... which leads to another Ralph story.. he had the coke company deliver him cokes by the palette (or a least it seemed that way... multiple cases anway, right to his door). And he would sell them for something like 50 cents or maybe it was a dollar.. whatever it was high for the time... so I was having his parnter pay for a lot of my cokes... the nearest "machine" was a long walk from the door room where we played.

[jtfanclub]

I dunno, it's funny to me...

 

My first club experience, I was about 14. They had an odd number, and needed one more. I ended up being paired by this Super Genius World Class Expert. Well, she'd probably be Advanced here, but remember, I was 14.

 

So, the first couple of hands, it's clear she's not real happy with my declarer play. So, I start angling. When I had a balanced 15-17, I'd open a suit, in hopes that she'd get to play the hand. I'd bid new suits to force, and sure enough, she'd end up declaring the hand. So the night finally rolls to a close, with her getting more and more frustrated, and after the last hand she throws down her cards and says:

 

"Three no trump! Three no trump! All you ever want to play is three no trump!"

 

And stalked out of the club.

 

When they tallied up the scores, we had 72%, 20 points higher than 2nd place.

 

I guess sometimes the winning strategy isn't the winning strategy.

[inquiry]

I was playing with an otherwise normal, sound partner, basic standard american with roman keycard blackwood and DOPI.. and the bidding went...

 

2C - (P ) - 2D - (P)

2H - (P ) - 4H - (P)

4N - (5C) - DBL - (P)

7H - (DBL) - all pass

 

Like I said DOPI was on our card, and had been for a couple of years I guess. So my double of 5Clubs denied any keycards (2C was game force, 2D was neg, 4H was support weak). They cashed the ACE of clubs at trick one, and partner then spread his hand, claiming the rest of the tricks.

 

Partner (yelling) "why lie about your keycards?"

 

Me: "what do you mean. We play DOPI, it is on our card"

 

Partner, "Yes, DOPI... Double = one.."

 

Me, "No you are dopey, double means zero"

 

Partner, "D "oh"... "oh" for one...."

 

Me, "no partner, that is not an "oh" it is a zero. Double for zero, pass for one"

 

Parnter, "No, double is one...", that is an "oh" D o p i "

 

Me, "well, if it is double = one, then what is is P - "i" "

 

Partner sits there a short while. Sighs, and says..."doulbe = 1, pass incomplete"

[the hog]

Last board in the final of the Australian Open pairs and we were playing the leaders. Partner and I where playing a relay system and bidding very slowly. Most of the other pairs had already finished and gradually the crowd of kibbers around our table grew and grew; there had to be something odd about this board. Well, after what seemed a horrendously long time and about 14 bids we relayed the hand out and bid 7NT. opp leads and I claim on the lead. One of the kibbers says "Thats a very odd way of showing a 5422 shape". I told him it was exactly the way that Paul Masrton showed that shape. "Hmm, Im not sure about that he says and walks off".

Rho turns to me and says, "Do you know who that was?". "Sure, it was Paul Marston", I replied.

[pdmunro]

My incident was the night I made 6♠X missing the ♠ AKQ. Funny but half-true.

 

It was at a regional tournament near St Louis. The cards were hand dealt. I only mention this because it led to some peculiar hands. I made a comment to someone that we had been in a number of game contracts with only 5-2 in our trump suit. They said they had 4 slams in the previous set of 7 hands. The other guy always has a better story.

 

About the 6♠X board. I bid to 6♠ which my RHO (Tex) doubled. Oh no, I thought, we have done it again: we probably have a 5-1 trump holding this time! So I took it out to 6NT. Meanwhile LHO (Doc) was putting his bidding cards away. Then he noticed I had changed my 6♠ bid to 6NT, and not realizing his partner had doubled the 6♠, he called the director. Rick, the director, glided across the floor, Lord of All He Purveyed. By now LHO had seen his partner's double and told Rick that he was not needed. Rick decided to stay to watch the fun.

 

So pass, pass, and a "what-the-heck" double by RHO. 3 passes. So I was in 6NTX. LHO led something other than spades. He later explained that I was always going to have to pay spades around to his ♠K. Well no you don't, not if your spades are 5-1 and you have plenty of tricks in the other suits. So between them, LHO, with the ♠ Kxx, and RHO, with the ♠ AQxx, won only one trick.

 

RHO, Tex, was stunned. He kept interrupting the play in the next couple of boards, "Can we go through the bidding again on THAT board?". At the completion of the set I saw him engaged in animated discussion with the other members of his team. No one looked happy.

 

I asked Rick, who had just stood there passively watching THAT board, if it was all legitimate. All OK he said. Then, he had some precious advice for me about how I could have made a 13th trick. I wasn't listening. I was just happy to have done my Houdini impersonation.

[Gerben47]

Of course you all know of the <add nation here>-3NT opening bid. This shows stoppers in 3 suits and asks partner to pass in case he has a solid minor.

 

Anyway, having just discussed this very topic 10 minutes before I pick up ♦ AKQxxxx and out. Guess what: Partner opened 3NT. RHO passed and I thought about the situation and decided to pass just to have a good laugh afterwards (was an informal tournament). When asked why I pass I said: "I thought we were playing that you show stoppers in the other suits and I have to pass with a solid minor".

[inquiry]

I was playing with a pick up partner at a local club and the second round, we were pitted against the player recognized as the club's very best player. My partner opened 1st seat, 2♠ (weak), and I had my usual collection of junk (if memory serves me right, it was something like S-Txxx H-Ax D-xxxx C-xxx. I bravely raised to 3♠ with all proper alerts.

 

The next hand (partner of the expert), bid 3NT, and this went all pass. It turns out, the expert had a great hand, including AJx of spades, so he was sure 3NT was meant for takeout to the minors. But my partner had psyched his two spade bid on S-xxxx H-xxx D-xxx C-xxx and they missed a laydown 6NT, 6H, 6C, or 6D.

 

Mr Expert, who had a 14 count on his own, was very upset with his partner, not to mention wth my partner, as this was a matchpoint top for us. Guess you might have to have been there, but I enjoyed it.

 

Ben

[inquiry]

Playing with my Dad one time in a rubber game, when I was much, much younger.. he opened 2H.. in those days, 2H was "Strong and forcing", promising good hearts. None of this weak two business in those days for us (I may have been 12 or so at the time).

 

I responded 3H, and he bid 3NT, I bid 4H and he bid 4S, I bid 5H and he bid 6C, I bid 6H, he looked at me, said damn it then, and he bid 7H....

 

His opening hand? It was something like S-AKQx H-A D-AKxx AQJTx

 

I had seven heart to KQJ and nothing else.

 

Very odd psyche with a monster hand, but well, it worked out nicely.

[EricK]

The other night at the club, we were playing against a husband and wife pair. They are both fairly good by club standards but he is better than she.

 

After the first hand he berated her quite strongly for her bidding which (according to him) caused them to end up in 4♠-2 rather than 4♥.

 

On the next hand he found himself declarer in 4♥ which was cold for 12 tricks. But he butchered the hand so badly that he only made 10 and got approximately 0 MP. To his credit, he immediately apologised to his partner for misplaying it. But I thought the juxtapostion of the two events was quite amusing.

 

Eric

[pclayton]

Speaking of psyches; I am playing in the finals of the Flight C knockouts in Reno in 1986, against a young (well younger than me - I was the ripe old age of 23) team from Case Western.

 

After two passes I pick up at 3rd chair green - xxx, AQx, xxx, xxxx. 1♥ by me. 1N on left, 2♣ on right, 2♠, 4♠.

 

Pard leads his doubleton heart through dummy's KJxx and we quickly take our 2 hearts, heart ruff and side ace to beat 4♠, and I happily note that 3N or even 4♥ is cold.

 

We win by about 60. The points I get are enough to put me over life master. Believe it or not, that was the first time I had ever psyched.

[EricK]

Speaking of psyches; I am playing in the finals of the Flight C knockouts in Reno in 1986, against a young (well younger than me - I was the ripe old age of 23) team from Case Western.

 

After two passes I pick up at 3rd chair green - xxx, AQx, xxx, xxxx. 1♥ by me. 1N on left, 2♣ on right, 2♠, 4♠.

 

Pard leads his doubleton heart through dummy's KJxx and we quickly take our 2 hearts, heart ruff and side ace to beat 4♠, and I happily note that 3N or even 4♥ is cold.

 

We win by about 60. The points I get are enough to put me over life master. Believe it or not, that was the first time I had ever psyched.

I like that psyche. On Wednesday I had ♠AQJ and rags outside. I was preparing my 3rd seat 1♠ psyche when RHO opened 1♠ in front of me :angry:

 

Eric

[inquiry]

I will post the hand in the squeeze pattern recongnition thread, but at the local club I mangled a squeeze hand and went down. I apologized to partner, stating that I could make the hand on a squeeze. My RHO who had just earned a top board (ro near top board at my expense), was a drinking buddy, and we were all going out for pizza and a beer after the game.

 

He says, "no way you can make this.. there is simply no squeeze sonny"

 

I said, sure there was.... but he insist.. "There is no way you can make this on a squeeze. If there is, I will buy the beer for everyone tonight, and dance naked on the table."

 

Well, at the pizza/bar place, and after about an hour of going through all the permutations, he finally agreed that the squeeze was there, so he reluctantly bought the beer. Forutunately, he didn't dance naked on the table (or anywhere else), really, nobody wanted to see that. :blink:

[Fluffy]

I already posted mine on the 'Most outrageous bid you ever made? ' post

 

http://bridgebase.lunarpages.com/~bridge2/...?showtopic=5089

 

 

There is a very famous one in Spain I´ll instead relate:

 

 

There is a marriage that surprisingly play always together, they keep yelling and insulting each other bravelly always, but somehow, when the game is over, it doesn´t matter what they said, it is forgotten fully and they love each other.

 

It happened once than while he played (or maybe defended) a deal quite badly she yelled to him:

 

-You play even worse than you ... (that thing couples make at beds, I myself I am so young an inocent that don´t know the word in english).

 

You could imagine the face of the opponents after that, bu you are wrong, only 1 of the opponets had 'that' face, the other just replied...

 

-Yes, but you can´t say you don´t like it ;).

[ecepal]

Hi

3 years ago in Florida I have entered a tournement,which was my first real life tournement:)

I was playing with my friend's cousin.he is bold (no offence to anyone) and has a habit of scratching his head very often.

My partner opened 1 club .and he again stroked his head.I did not take any notice and I bid 3 clubs. Opponents two oldish ladies called director in my horror -did not know why?

The lady sitting on my right hand said" TD they are signaling to each other gentlemen stroke his head and lady bid 3clubs! "

Td come to me and asked to see my cards.

I opened my cards discreetly of course and TD said " carry on please "

Of course I had in my hand

♣K,J,1o.9.8.x,x,x :))) and my p had ♣ A,Q.x

:))))

 

well at that tournement me and my partner become 6th (amongst over 900 people) :lol:

[keylime]

Scene: A hot, steamy Oklahoma City night in the summer

 

Location: The local duplicate, stuffy with old farts and old stuff

 

The protagonists: The dynamically misguided duo who was inspiring at times in their attempts to understand why they sucked at club bridge, but played great at tourneys (at the time mind you).

 

The situation:

 

Our beautifully attractive woman, a brunette with a warm smile and eyes that are enticing enough to run out for ice cream at 2AM, opens a forcing 1♣ and hears the handsome windblown man, who is very much trying to woo this brunette with charm, personality, and ice cream runs, responds 3♥, showing a 5-5 hand in the black suits. Our heroine, for reasons that to this day remain unexplained, decides to venture a 4♥ call, which she "hopes" gets the handsome windblown man to choose which black suit to play in.....only to get DROPPED there because the gentleman is thinking the attractive woman is on a 6-7 card ♥ suit.

 

The handsome windblown man, after recovering from the horrid shock of playing 4♥ on AQ9 opposite T-x, decides to see how many tricks are really possible. He wiggles, finesses, manipulates, massages, prays, sacrifices willingly body parts trying desperately to salvage some ounce of self-respect.....only to make the contract because the KJ8x is ONSIDE.

 

The handsome windblown man scratches his head in amazement over his luck, writes down 4♥ making for +620, when par is 6NT...... DOWN ONE!!!.

 

Thus, this is the strangest top I have ever received, and directly influenced the massive rewrite to generate the structure over 1♣ openings. :lol:

[Fluffy]

These reminds me of a good one my partner did the European Junior Championship in Torquay'2002

 

You can see the hand at the bottom of this page:

 

http://www.eurobridge.org/competitions/02T...17WedEvePg7.htm

 

For this match (one of the lasts) we decided to switch the regular partnerships so I found myself playing my first time with PEREZ CALISTEO (I am GODED MERINO).

 

My partner: tried blackwood, he suddenly forgot 5♥ was not only 2 key cards, but also denying trump Q, but he did remind that the next bid was asking for it, so he bid 5♠, and fond himself playing on what we can call... 'not the best fit' :lol:.

[the hog]

As a matter of interest, did he make it? It is makeable.

[Gerben47]

Read the story and you will see the answer is yes :)

[inquiry]

As a matter of interest, did he make it? It is makeable.

It was made, but it is surely not makable... 5Spades missing KJT9xxx with KJTxx in one hand.. lead ♠9, and you then have to lose 3♠ tricks. Silly thing master trumps.. they seem to take tricks if not crashing down on each other.

 

Ben

[slothy]

There is a very famous one in Spain I´ll instead relate:

 

 

There is a marriage that surprisingly play always together, they keep yelling and insulting each other bravelly always,  but somehow, when the game is over, it doesn´t matter what they said, it is forgotten fully and they love each other.

 

...

 

-You play even worse than you ... (that thing couples make at beds, I myself I am so young an inocent that don´t know the word in english).

 

 

...

Dear Floofy,

 

Can you please send me their phone numbers cause i want to reassure myself they are actually human.

 

I am compiling a book 'Contradictions In Bridge Play and Matrimony: Applying the Kama Sutra To Better Bidding Sequences' and this episode totally torpedoes my theory about interactions between couples before and after a game(different dynamics amongst gay couples) :)

 

Sloofy xx

 

PS And if my ex-wife ever ever happens to read this you were better in bed than you were at the bridge table. (with whoever it was you were sleeping with B) )

 

(5 mins ago: Oooops alas just found out my ex-wife DOES read these forums. hang on just phoning my lawyer)

[helene_t]

New-years day 1999. I had nothing to do so I looked up if something was going on in the local Lesbian center. Actually, there was a coffiehouse hour (yes, that means bridge: it might have refered to something else. Netherlands, you know).

 

I had never played in the Netherlands before so I had no idea what the Dutch bridge culture would be like. So I read a few pages in the "Van Start tot Finish" book, which mentioned something called "Acol" and subsequently described it as the excact antithesis of Acol except that they actually would open a 4-card major on rare occasions. Very confusing. So I was prepared for surprises.

 

At the first board, I opened 1NT which my partner raised to 3. LHO lead a small heart to the queen of her partner, which I took with the king. Now RHO (!) lead a card for the second trick.

 

Me: "Hey, I'm on lead. I won the first trick".

RHO: "Didn't they teach you our rules? This is a feminist bridge club. The queen is higher than the king."

 

I must have looked very confused, since my partner rushed to assure me that it was a joke.