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Most hopeless / clueless comment?


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Very recent online comments I receive from my partner after winning impossible contract with a huge help from defenders.

“Do not expect wdp, Partner. With 3 declarers this contract was easy to make.”

 

Very similar to my usual comment -- "I'm OK with having 2 opponents at the table, but not 3."

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Assuming 9 high means a Yarborough and not a 9-hcp hand, then the LAW doesn't apply since it is supposed to be when both sides are around equal in points. Also raising to the 3 level with 4333 is pretty bad since the 4333 shape is death and hard since no ruffs in the short hand.

 

While I agree that 4333 is usually a terrible shape for a limit raise or preemptive raise, particularly when very weak, the LAW is actually particularly poor in general whenever both hands are weak, and/or when the trumps are very weak, often regardless of shape, and/or when the trumps break badly. In "I Fought the LAW..." Mike Lawrence and Anders Wirgren (spelling?) write up a great example of this wherein both sides have around 20 HCP and a 4-4 fit. However, in both cases, one of the opponents holds AKQJ in the other side's trump suit. That defender can draw trumps and then lead over to his partner's long suit, running 8 tricks to start the defense. It's a great example of how terribly off the LAW can be on some deals. 16 trumps but only 10 total tricks. (In fact, Richard Pavlicek has some examples where the Law can be off by 12 tricks!)

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One of my favorites from the club over 20 years ago. Weeknight pairs game and PD and I are sitting across from an older married pair who often agrued so much that it slowed the game down.

Wife was quite strong and would be a respected expert on BBO whereas hubby was basically as skilled as the average advanced pickup.

 

<snip>

 

To say that "hubby was basically as skilled as the average advanced pickup" is a severe insult to advanced pickup players everywhere, "average" or otherwise...

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Partner held this trump suit on Saturday:

 

98xx

 

AQTxx

 

LHO plays three rounds of spades, ruffed in dummy with the 9 whereas RHO discards.

 

He cannot work out that LHO has the K and J.

 

Unfortunately for us, they were doubleton. He says, how can I possibly guess this? :ph34r:

 

The best retort would be that he was playing RHO to have made a Grosvenor gambit. But I imagine he wouldn't understand that anyway.

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Hey, don't stop now! :lol:

 

Alright, since I rarely need much encouragement to continue, here are the top 10 things to know about sitting dummy for a less-than-astute declarer:

 

1. The play at trick 1 must be hasty. Declarer can sit and huddle and trance all he wants when, later in the hand, a crucial decision needs to be made and it's obvious exactly what he is thinking about.

2. There is absolutely no reason to delay drawing trumps at trick 2... unless, of course, you don't need ruffs in dummy and your trump suit is solid. Then, it's perfectly acceptable to continue leading side suits until a low defensive crossruff is established.

3. Any time the opening lead has revealed key information about the way an important suit breaks, the declarer will either fail to observe that information, fail to utilize it, or play the suit exactly backwards from what the information has revealed (so that he can't be accused of "falling for the ruse.")

4. Once the bidding is over, any information provided therein is to be completely dismissed as "irrelevant" and/or "BS."

5. Finesses are fun; always take them even if there's a guaranteed line to make the contract without the finesse.

6. Entries are completely unimportant, and should be utilized solely to take unnecessary finesses as described in (5), above.

7. A great way to make a trump contract is to force the long trump hand to ruff repeatedly BEFORE the long side suit is established.

8. Counting the hand is completely unnecessary (not to mention impossible).

9. When several rounds of trumps have been drawn and there is one defender trump outstanding which happens to be the master trump, the only acceptable continuation is to play another round of trumps immediately, forcing the defender to win his master trump now in the hopes that he will "do something helpful."

10. Probably the most important one of all: When doubled in what will obviously be a borderline, tricky contract, and you will be sitting dummy for it, get up and leave before opening lead. It will add years to your life. Ask a friend or neutral observer to reveal dummy on your behalf. Never return to the table.

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When in NT and you have the top 3 honors in a 4-3 fit, find out if it splits 3-3 for a 4th trick before pushing out the ace in your 6-2 side suit just so you can make one less then everyone else.

 

 

LOL yes this is one I forgot --> in general establish tricks for the opponents before knocking their stoppers out :lol: :lol:

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  • 2 weeks later...

[hv=pc=n&s=sak4h643dqj4ckjt3&w=sj72haq5d752cq652&n=s65h987dk986ca984&e=sqt983hkjt2dat3c7&d=n&v=n&b=5&a=p1sp2spp(very%20long%20hesitation)dp2np(asking%20question%20and%20hesitatinga%20bit)3c3sp4s(in%20a%20flash%20like%20if%20it%20was%20obvious)ppp]399|300[/hv]

 

I remembered a friend of mine who reads BW, and is always talking about TTASL, I was quite unhappy with having reopened since my chances of defeatin 4 seemed NIL if partner is broke.

 

The clueless comment after the board was obviously blaming partner for bidding 3 because she had too few values.

 

 

On a side note, I was very surprised to see partner encourage diamonds after I played Q, I though he just had the 10, but then declarer's hesitation made it obvious the King was there. When I saw A it was like... WTF??

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[hv=pc=n&s=sak4h643dqj4ckjt3&w=sj72haq5d752cq652&n=s65h987dk986ca984&e=sqt983hkjt2dat3c7&d=n&v=n&b=5&a=p1sp2spp(very%20long%20hesitation)dp2np(asking%20question%20and%20hesitatinga%20bit)3c3sp4s(in%20a%20flash%20like%20if%20it%20was%20obvious)ppp]399|300[/hv]

 

I remembered a friend of mine who reads BW, and is always talking about TTASL, I was quite unhappy with having reopened since my chances of defeatin 4 seemed NIL if partner is broke.

 

The clueless comment after the board was obviously blaming partner for bidding 3 because she had too few values.

 

 

On a side note, I was very surprised to see partner encourage diamonds after I played Q, I though he just had the 10, but then declarer's hesitation made it obvious the King was there. When I saw A it was like... WTF??

 

What's TTASL?

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I played in a STac Swiss yesterday and on 1 hand I opened 1 in 3rd, p , 1 and rho came in with a sandwich nt on a 1-4-4-4 11 count. I doubled that and it went float.

 

Later in the play after rho had pitched down to Kx, I led the Q, low, low and after some thought she ducked. A to pards Ace and we ran a couple more. That isn't even the most clueless part.

 

Declarer dumped all over her pard and said the sandwich nt was forcing and turned to me for confirmation. I said Well no, not if you have no preference and she glared at her pard and said "See, I told you so". Twice more blathered some nonsense, Twice more I replied (gently) NOT and twice more she said See, he agrees with me. Yikes!

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My partner once passed me in 1NT xx after

 

1D-1N*-x-p (* raptor: clubs and a major, 9-14)

p-xx**-p-p (** my major is hearts. 2 would have shown spades)

p

 

because he thought clubs would play better from my side. :) I think it was -1600 and a bad score at teams.

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[hv=pc=n&s=saq7haj82dak74cqj&w=skj95hq7dj2ck6432&n=st82hk9653dt65ca9&e=s643ht4dq983ct875&d=e&v=n&b=2&a=p1dp1hp4hppp]399|300[/hv]

 

Declarer chose to finesse for the Q.

 

South, holding court over his minions (the rest of the table and kibbers), chose to admonish his partner with the following:

 

"Holding 9 cards do not finesse the queen. Queen finesse onside is 25% queen drop is 40%. The 3-1 split is advertised 50% but it's 25% 3-1 and 25% 1-3." :blink:

 

I could almost hear the "scribble-scratch-scribble" in the background. (I think they were all furiously taking notes...)

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Reminds me of some story. A new guy doesn't know anything about the game. His partner tells him "just bid what you have". So the auction goes something like:

1-1

2-2

3-3NT

7-pass

Nobody understands anything of this, but opener is very pleased with his auction. He even makes his contract! He had a 3=7=2=1 and bid "what he had": singleton , 2 s, 3 s and 7 s... :rolleyes:

 

"Just bid what you've got."

 

4C P P X

4D P P X

4H P P X

 

and the Jack of Spades !

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Here's a hand from last night. [hv=pc=n&s=sj9haq52da4cjt542&w=sk62hj963d72ca863&n=st543htdjt965ckq7&e=saq87hk874dkq83c9&d=e&v=e&b=6&a=1dp1hp3hp4hppp&p=ckc9c2cad7d6dkdac4c3c7h4dqd4d2d5d3s9h3d9c6cqh7c5]399|300[/hv]

 

The play was pretty awful. Declarer couldn't decide to set up dummy, or his own hand, so he decided to ruff in both losing trump control in the process. I won the A, drew dummy's last trump and soon claimed for -3.

 

The post-mortem was classic. "partner, I really prefer a 1 rebid with that. If I pass 1, thats probably the place we should play".

 

PS, at last check this player had about 6,000 MPs.

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  • 4 weeks later...

2N P 3C P

3D P 3N P

P P

 

Before the opening lead dummy advises that there was a failure to alert 3C Puppet.

 

Dummy is put down down; 3433

 

When asked if 3N denied a 4 card major dummy replied "yes but it was obvious that my partner had forgotten we played puppet"

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[hv=pc=n&s=sthaq873dakq93ckq&w=sk94ht96dt52ct763&n=s87653hkj2d764c52&e=saqj2h54dj8caj984&d=e&v=b&b=10&a=1c2np3hp3spp(%3F%3F)p]399|300[/hv]

I, sat North after partner made unusual NT overcall and bid 3 over my minimum response, the only thing come to my mind was partner obviously forget 1 open, and thought he's opening 2N(where he treat my 3 as transfer, and by accident I got some spade!). Actually, he did notice 1 and bid properly, 3 was a cue bid intend for slam try.

 

I'm a bad partner :P .

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yesterday, opps bid (presumably trying to play Acol):

West-East

2NT-4

4NT-5

5-5

5NT-pass

 

Very heated discussion:

 

West: WHY DID YOU KEEP BIDDING ON?????? AFTER YOU TOLD ME ZERO ACES, I BID 5. YOU SHOULD PASS THAT !!!!!

East: YOU SHOULD HAVE PASSED 4!!! I HAD SIX SPADES!!!!

West: 4 DOES NOT SHOW LONG SPADES, IT SHOWS A SPADE STOPPER!!!!!

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Before the opening lead dummy advises that there was a failure to alert 3C Puppet.

 

Dummy is put down down; 3433

 

When asked if 3N denied a 4 card major dummy replied "yes but it was obvious that my partner had forgotten we played puppet"

If this took place in Vancouver, it's no longer required to alert 3. But 3NT should be alerted as denying a 4-card major.

 

Maybe the reason they got rid of the 3 alert was precisely to avoid the above situation.

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