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Who you gonna call


babalu1997

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So I have this freshly promoted boss. It was a long-awaited promotion, but the individual never impressed me as being very eloquent in public situations. And now, it is evident that the grammar of office memos is just apalling, horrendous, including semantic mistakes which should not be present in an eduacted native speaker of English.

 

I thought of sending an email to abuse, but the boss does not play bridge.

 

Since i cannot tell anybody I have to post here.

 

PS I am a non native speaker, i have an excuse.

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From the urban dictionary:

 

1. menusha

 

An idiot trying to spell minutia.

While it may seem to be minutia, anyone who writes menusha is a ***** dumbass.

 

2. menusha

 

***** no one cares about cuz its so stupid; just stuff

You're full of menusha!

 

Next best-seller: The Decline and Fall of the English Language.

 

I see that the forum software has done some politically correct editing of this post (replacing two words with asterisks). Be it known that wasn't my idea. <_<

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I posted this on facebook in April:

 

Email from coworker requesting I make a spreadsheet for her (ms office how does it work?): "Jeremy, you might have some septic ideas to organize."

 

Touche, coworker. I know my mind is sordid, but septic is a bit harsh.

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A friend told me he saw a forum (not a bbo forum) where contributors were asked to tell about "the first time they lost their virginity". I suppose that the fifth time one loses one's virginity is hardly worth talking about.

 

 

One of my all time favorites: I was listening to an NPR discussion about a guy who was on death row. The debate got heated and one of the pro-death people opined that "he should just take his punishment and move on with his life".

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A friend told me he saw a forum (not a bbo forum) where contributors were asked to tell about "the first time they lost their virginity". I suppose that the fifth time one loses one's virginity is hardly worth talking about.

 

 

One of my all time favorites: I was listening to an NPR discussion about a guy who was on death row. The debate got heated and one of the pro-death people opined that "he should just take his punishment and move on with his life".

Famous snooker commentary:

 

And for those of you watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green.

 

However my favourite inability to get the right word goes to my late grandmother, who when my father headed off to go snorkeling and a business colleague phoned, told him he was off snogging on the beach.

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Could I cry too? :)

 

Recently I notice on the wall on my boss’s room among funny cartoons 2 printed E-mails I (not native English speaker) sent when I just started to work there.

The first E-mail contained worlds “erogenous script.” I wanted to print “erroneous” but Freud and spell check succumbed me.

 

Second E-mail had some story behind. We had Excel spreadsheet updated daily. One day we decided to move all data into database. After migration was completed I sent E-mail what all information now in the database and I will not update this excel sheet anymore. Right after I sent the E-mail I got phone call from one of relatively top-manager, who said what he is completely sharing my opinion about excel but, because I am not-native speaker, he would like to let me know that some words should not be used in the business E-mails.

Surprized by this call I checked my E-mail and found out that I made the most unfortunate spelling mistake in the word sheet. Funny thing the meaning of the E-mail stayed exactly the same.

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One of mine. Upon calling a friend from a public call-box with only one coin I opened with "Hi, I can't talk long, I'm on the phone."

One time I was late for an appointment and when stopped in a radar trap for a speeding ticket I said, "I'm in a hurry, will this take long?" it worked out ok tho the policeman warned me about another radar trap set up further along my route B-)

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Just another hall of fame my hero belongs in for quantity and quality. Yogi Berra.

 

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

 

I cant stand it.

 

The boss went on the radio to invite members of the public to an event.

 

"There will be a very safe atmosphere. There will be clothed policemen on the grounds and alos underclothes policemen"

 

( one only hopes the underclothes ones are not the fat ones!!!)

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I cant stand it.

 

The boss went on the radio to invite members of the public to an event.

 

"There will be a very safe atmosphere. There will be clothed policemen on the grounds and alos underclothes policemen"

 

( one only hopes the underclothes ones are not the fat ones!!!)

 

LOL. I was thinking they were policeman that searched "under" people's "clothes". You know, like bomb detection or something.

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