pdmunro Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Quotes from Victor Mollo's Masters and Monsters Recently posted in http://bridgejokes.blogspot.com/ Hideous Hog: Probability, playing rules, conventions and systems take the place of thinking. That is why they are so popular. Hideous Hog: (He) is so bad that he admits to mistakes before he makes them Hideous Hog: If you award Masterpoints for very good results then, logically, you should deduct them for very bad results. Papa: I don’t understand why you couldn’t see my signal, partner. Everyone knows that a singleton is the top of nothing. Papa: I am so good I can false card with a singleton. Rueful Rabbit: Do you want to play Lavinthal or Odd-Even or natural discards?T Toucan: Let’s play them all. Papa: People shouldn’t be allowed to use conventions they don’t understand. It’s not fair to the opponents. T Toucan: I know we agreed to lead A from AK. Sorry my fault. I promise to have the King next time. Rueful Rabbit: Shall we play McKenney or Lavinthal discards.( the same… ed) Rueful Rabbit: At Grandslam, it was a little difficult to rectify the count. Charlie Chimp: I can concentrate at will on all the hands except the one I am currently playing. Rueful Rabbit: Some declarers have difficulty counting the opponent’s distribution. I have the same problem with Dummy’s distribution. T Toucan: If I work very hard at it, I may be able to achieve mediocrity. Karapet: Did I tell you about ….Corgi: Yes Karapet: I expect the worst in bridge and am rarely disappointed. Karapet: I am so unlucky that in all my life, no one has ever revoked against me. Karapet: Through constant practice, I have become an expert loser. Hideous Hog: Nature is so unfair that I have to be the dummy over ten percent of the time. What a waste of my talent. Hideous Hog: You made your Ace of trumps. What else can you possibly want? Papa: Only at Duplicate you get a bottom for using safety plays. O Owl: Better to play very badly than very good. If things go wrong you are in good company. Hideous Hog: I am so good I only need a partner who can tell one suit from another. Hideous Hog: Your bidding and card play are not on the same high level as the rest of your game. Hideous Hog: I know no one whom I would rather see in charge of the dummy. Hideous Hog: I will bid natural and you bid “Big Minor”. When you have a NT opening, you call 1C and I will bid your NT. If you have a major, bid 1D and I will bid your major. This way you will not get the stress of being declarer. Papa: I am the better side and we know it. Hideous Hog: My partner plus 12 sure tricks equals 11. Hideous Hog: I am such a fine player, no one can deny my right to be rude. Hideous Hog: It is blatant insubordination. How dare you bid NT and becomes declarer. Hideous Hog: I do not doubt your luck and I know no one who needs it more than you. Hideous Hog: Of course I always hold much better cards than you do. Being declarer is part of my system. Hideous Hog: My point count system? Extra for long suit, extra for short suit and 3 points for my superb play. Hideous Hog: The opening lead should always run up to the stronger player. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babalu1997 Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Quotes from Victor Mollo's Masters and Monsters Recently posted in http://bridgejokes.blogspot.com/ Hideous Hog: Probability, playing rules, conventions and systems take the place of thinking. That is why they are so popular. many a truth is said in jest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
655321 Posted January 12, 2010 Report Share Posted January 12, 2010 What a letdown! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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