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The Meaning Of Liff*


slothy

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Peter (v. and n.)

 

The name of your favourite BBO partner who you love to play with as he is your age, has your sense of humour and your attitude towards bridge, and then one day you find out it's actually a 73 year old woman called Gertrude who has 9 cats and she also logs in as Paul, Barry, Frank and Tom; your 4 other favourite partners.

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Board (n. adj.)

 

The ennui one feels after playing a hand of bridge with someone who has as much intelligence as a lobotomised tadpole.

Be careful Slothy. Some posters have aleady said they enjoy playing with themselves.

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Ainsworth

 

The length of time it takes to get served in a camera shop.

Hence, also, how long we will have to wait for the abolition of income tax or the Second Coming.

 

from 'The Deeper Meaning of Liff' Douglas Adams & John Lloyd

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Zia (v.)

 

Warning: This word is not allowed in scrabble!

 

The cueing of a suit in which one has a poor holding that an opponent was never going to lead in the first place but is conveniently alerted to the fact that leading it may now be a good idea.

 

Coincidentally, the Zia is also the name of a tribe from Papua New Guinea where the probability of being the victim of such a cue-bid in one of their Congresses (for some odd reason they never seem to attract The Fantonis and Aukens of this world) is drastically reduced.

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Half Table (n.)

 

1. An extra pair at a duplicate game.

2. The fractional population of your table after the curry you ate earlier that evening has digested itself in a way you found difficult to control ( your p is one of those unfortunate people who lost her sense of smell when due to a cosmetic surgical fiasco she 'cut off her nose to spite her face' )

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