slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 I don't know how many of us are familiar with the book The Meaning Of Liff by Douglas Adams (and some other bloke with an unforgettable name). Ebook (for inspiration :) ) or Devil's dictionary as adam mentioned below In the book (t)he(y) either invents words, or takes existing words, and assigns alternative (and in most cases hilarious and or ludicrous, at least to me) meanings to them. So for example the 2 words, JARROW and KURDISTAN (taken at random) JARROW (adj.)An agricultural device which, when towed behind a tractor, enables the farmer to spread his dung evenly across the width of the road. KURDISTAN (n.)Hard stare given by a husband to his wife when he notices a sharp increase in the number of times he answers the phone to be told, 'Sorry, wrong number.' So what i propose is to take the concept of this book and specifically apply a bridge or BBO theme either to bridge terms, BBO personalities or BBO itself I guess i should start. I am hoping some of you come up with some real beauties :) It just requires a bit of imagination and perverted sense of humour :) Alex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Dandyruff (n.) Inexplicable white spots that appear on the beige after your Q of clubs is ruffed by a male opponent with a liberal trowelling of lip-gloss and a pattern on his colourful shirt reminiscent of your grandmother's apron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Irrevocability (n.) The feeling of despair one feels when one has revoked in every suit on the first 4 tricks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Vienna Coup (v.) The clandestine changing of ones flag to Austria when you hear in lobby-chat that the daughter of the director for the upcoming tourney you want to play in was left at the altar by a man from your own country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Yellow-Belly (n.) Those extra 9 centimetres that appear on dkgrab's waistline after his wife has left him Home Alone to fend for himself after she visits her friends in New Mexico for 3 weeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Garbage Stayman (v.) Where you want to throw your system when you end up playing in a 4-2 fit . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Relay (v.) A method of asking partner how badly he originally misdescribed his hand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Signalling (v.) An excuse for not cashing your Ace and King against 6NT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Matchpoints (n.) A way of measuring how badly your partner did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Weedo (v.) Example : 'Yesterday, i weedoed after the meeting with Mr Smith' The BBO nik you click on to watch the JEC team match when have 30 mins to kill waiting for your document to print after you look at the print-spool and find your colleague is printing out every email her lover, who went back to his wife the previous morning, had sent her since 2002. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Alex, I don't know if you have ever heard of the Devil's Dictionary, but it is also the same type of thing, and is extremely amusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Weak Two (n.) A polite term referring to the husband and wife who have played at the local club for 25 years, and still play in C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Reverse Smith (n.) Giving yourself the nickname Htims on BBO and making a bet with 15 of your friends on BBO , all of whom collectively believe that no one else has a similar wacky sense of humour and ability to 'think outside the box' as you all do, that no one else will fathom the profound and intense cleverness intrinsic in the nik. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Weak Three (n.) See Weak 2 above A polite term referring to the husband and wife who have played at the local club for 15 years, and still play in C, just after they start attending prenatal classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Mt (prefix) The initial 2 letters of all of Adam's niks. After he has used 3,794 niks and has exhausted all places on Earth higher than 4000m will have to consult an encyclopaedia of Lunar Topology Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Wife (n.) Someone who you should avoid sitting across the table from at all costs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHNN Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Garbage Stayman (v.) Where you want to throw your system when you end up playing in a 4-2 fit . Q? what kind of garbage ?we need to recycle? paper or glass? :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Invitational Bid (adj.) A method of removing the blame from yourself and instead placing it on your partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Husband (n.) Definition 1. Noun that suddenly becomes prefixed with ex when a wife talks about the man she started to learn to play bridge with at the local library. Definition 2. A male you should always play with - as long as he is someone else's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Grand Slam (n.) The noise the front door of the bridge club makes when you pass your partners 7C bid. After you pick his cards off the floor as they fluttered there after the backdraft from his dramatic exit you realise his stiff A of clubs was a probe for 7NT or 7S. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matmat Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 bored, alex? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Squeeze (v.) A form of torture requiring your enemy to give up valuable information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Small slam (n.) see Grand Slam above The noise the cat-flap on the front door of the bridge club makes when you have passed your partners 7C bid and you kick the bridge club moggy doorwards when you realise your unsympathetic partner has left with your car-keys in his pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Blame (v.) An item more abundant than water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtvesuvius Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Convention Card (n.) A list of all the special agreements you will forget in the following session. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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