mr1303 Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Imagine you're a single girl in your early 20s. There's a boy you like, but you're not sure if he likes you. Should you a) ask him out yourself, or b) try to hint to him that you like him and get him to ask you out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherdano Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Do you mean "I prefer to live in a society where it is ok for girls to ask out guys as much as the other way round", or are you asking for personal advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwnn Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 That would definitely be unusually assertive, but in a good way, to me at least :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherdano Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 If the guy is Csaba, I think she should ask him directly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr1303 Posted November 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 This is more personal advice than society in general, although feel free to comment on anything relevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Only if she pays. Liberation applies to the wallet as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherdano Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 The answer is easy: "It depends on the guy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vuroth Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 I can't fathom a world where it wouldn't be 50/50. I also can't fathom a world where a 20 year old woman would ever ask me out. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr1303 Posted November 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 I can't fathom a world where it wouldn't be 50/50. I also can't fathom a world where a 20 year old woman would ever ask me out. :) Aww bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helene_t Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 The answer is easy: "It depends on the guy." Yes, and on the girl. I have always been to shy to ask someone out, but more power to those who have the guts. Regardless of gender, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Imagine you're a single girl in your early 20s. There's a boy you like, but you're not sure if he likes you. Should you a) ask him out yourself, or :) try to hint to him that you like him and get him to ask you out? Dear Confused:Piss off, Loser. Abby :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanoi5 Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 However, I'm not sure it'sgood to have the deer running behind the dogs... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Only if the girl is Helene :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenberg Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Imagine you're a single girl in your early 20s. There's a boy you like, but you're not sure if he likes you. Should you a) ask him out yourself, or :) try to hint to him that you like him and get him to ask you out? I am having some trouble imagining myself as a girl, imagining I am in my early twenties, and imagining that there is a guy I want to go out with. But what the hell, I'll give it a shot. Women have been initiating contact since the beginning of time. The issue is how. If a woman is up for direct, I suggest something like: " I am not deeply involved with anyone, if that information is of any interest to you" and then let it go where it goes. There is nothing inherently wrong with asking a guy out but let me mention a guy fact that perhaps would not occur to a woman. Most of us do not have a lot of experience turning down a direct invitation, and this can make things awkward if we prefer not to accept. We are (well, I speak only for myself, and many years ago at that) well-acquainted with rejection from women and most of us have learned to handle it with minimal social unease. Turning down a suggestion from a woman may be tougher. Here is a line I roughly remember from Zorba the Greek: "God has a very big heart but there is one sin that he will not forgive. If a woman calls a man to her bed and he will not go." It's a heavy responsibility we guys bear. But we must try. Maybe the direct approach would work fine. As mentioned, it depends on both the man and the woman. But the way things were usually done fifty years ago was this: The woman finds a way to make it clear that there is interest and then she waits. This was socially useful, avoided awkward moments, and still got the job done. But obviously times have changed, so what do I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Well. that was fairly tortured.... How about: "Hi there! I really like your.....eyes. What are you doing later?" or the more perfunctory; "They say that the way to a woman's heart is thru your wallet....." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASkolnick Posted December 1, 2008 Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 Well, when I was younger, it did happen to me. We knew each other from playing volleyball and handed me a note which said "If you want to do something, give me a call at xxx-xxxx" If the person is worried about saving face, you now have put the onus on the guy to call. If he is interested, he will. If not, he won't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
han Posted December 1, 2008 Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 Mark, my advice is to stop waiting and just ask her out yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossoneri Posted December 1, 2008 Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 LOL Han. I think in general girls should stop wasting their time dropping hints which don't work on clueless guys (like myself!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwnn Posted December 1, 2008 Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 If someone mentions the word "unanimous" will a no vote magically appear? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr1303 Posted December 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 Mark, my advice is to stop waiting and just ask her out yourself. I'll pass this advice on to my very single sister-in-law who has been asking me for advice!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bid_em_up Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Mark, my advice is to stop waiting and just ask her out yourself. I'll pass this advice on to my very single sister-in-law who has been asking me for advice!!! Is she cute? :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helene_t Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 If someone mentions the word "unanimous" will a no vote magically appear? You experiment was successful :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sceptic Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 I think forced marriages solve this non issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggieb Posted December 5, 2008 Report Share Posted December 5, 2008 What century are we living in?? I only once asked a guy out for a date, next summer we'll be married for 15 years. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
han Posted December 5, 2008 Report Share Posted December 5, 2008 Is that supposed to be a recommendation or a warning? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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