A REALLY Good reason To Quit

[hallway]

Time to step back and remember that the ONLY reason any of us are here doing whatever it is we do - is simply - we are ADDICTED to BRIDGE !!

 

One of my members sent this to me -- next time my cursor hovers over the Remove Club Now button I have promised myself to reread this -

 

Why I Quit Bridge

 

'Twas the night before Christmas

Two guests in our house

Had started to play bridge

With me and my spouse.

 

"Please tell me," she shouted,

"Why didn't you double?

'Twas plain from the start

That we had them in trouble."

 

"Tis my fault my dear,"

Said I, taking no stand.

"To discuss it with you-

Let us play the next hand."

 

"Remember next time."

Said she, icing a frown,

"To double a contract

That's sure to go down."

 

So I picked up my cards

In a downtrodden state,

Then I opened One Spade

And awaited my fate.

 

Dealer: East

Vulnerabe: North/South

 

North

S. 9876

H. 65432

D. 8765

 

West

S. AKQJ10

H. QJ109

D. KQJ109

C. KQJ10

 

East (Me)

S AKQJT

H AK87

D ----

C A987

 

South

S. 5432

H. ----

D. A432

C. 65432

 

The guy sitting South

Was like many I've known,

He played and he bid

In a land of his own.

 

"Two diamonds," he countered

With scarcely a care.

The ace in his hand

Gave him courage to spare.

 

My wife, she smiled faintly,

And tossing her head,

Leaned over the table,

"I double," she said

 

And North, for some reason

I cannot determine,

Bid Two Hearts as though

He was preaching a sermon.

 

I grinned as I doubled,

Enjoying the fun.

And turned 'round to South

To see where he would run.

 

But South, undistressed,

Not at a loss for a word,

Came forth with "Two Spades"-

Did I hear what I heard?

 

The other two passed

And in sheer disbelief

I said, "Double my friend,

That'll bring you to grief."

 

South passed with a nod,

His composure serene;

My wife with a flourish

Led out her Heart Queen.

 

I sat there and chuckled

Inside o'er their fix -

But South very calmly

Ran off eight straight tricks!

 

He ruffed the first heart

In his hand right away,

And then trumped a club

On the very next play.

 

He crossruffed the hand

At a breathtaking pace,

'Till I was left holding

Five Spades to the Ace.

 

In anguish my wife cried,

"Your mind's growing old!

Don't you see six notrump

In this hand is ice cold?"

 

By doubling this time

I'd committed a sin -

It just goes to prove

That you never can win.

 

I QUIT !!

 

Author Unknown

[mishovnbg]

 

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Hi Maureen!

 

 

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First at all I dont have enough words to thank you for great job you do in BBO for people. If all positive emotions of all BIL members transform into flowers, they will cover all world :unsure: ♥♥♥♥♥

 

 

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Thank you for share this piece of hope with us. You may be not believe but I, like some of very clever members of our forum, sometimes also have an idea to QUIT. For example previuos night I played terrible with Ben and this was clear not only time and I still wonder how many mistakes I need to do to consider I am hopeless :D . The poem you gave to all us can help to laugh instead of to cry, thank you :angry: .

 

 

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By the way, if you like I can teach you too, when you have free time, can change nick if you like, will be honour for me to do that. The only problem is I probably will teach you only how to do better mistakes, but negative experience can also help :blink:.

 

 

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Misho

[Felix]

Love the poem, i found these additions on David Stevenson's page

 

 

Tim West-Meads added

 

"I doubled, my dear,

since I trusted your lead

A diamond you should

have produced with great speed.

 

Two thousand points you'd

find then was our score

(Not to mention the honours

to make even more)"

 

 

Anne Jones added

 

"Your scoring, my darling,

would have cost us a bomb

Two thousand points would

have surely been wrong

 

What trick did they win

that gives them that score?

By ditching the diamonds

we get three hundred more."

 

Felix

[Abadaba]

And how many here know that in Gilbert & Sullivan librettos - there are 216 lyrics we can use to describe our fascination with bridge.

 

Puzzling bid  -- 196 HMS Pinafore II Captain CORCORAN: Though to catch your drift I'm striving, It is shady - it is shady;  It is shady - it is shady;

See they had psyches even then

 

Found a fit!  The Pirates of Penzance  -  But fear not, I have a heart  We rather think that we're Not altogether void

 

Yes dear partners when you are wondering where my brain hath gone - a wandering minstral I........

 

http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/html/bridge/by_situation.html

Edited April 10, 2004 by inquiry