Permission Denied!

[1eyedjack]

I have conflicting thoughts about this suggestion. What do others think?

 

If I apply to join a table and am denied, I should like to know why. If someone tries to join my table and for some reason I wish to deny him/her, then I would normally regard it as a courtesy to explain why.

 

The software does not currently grant an opportunity to give a reason for rejection. If the opportunity were given then it need not be compulsory to use it.

 

For the moment I am left with flagging each person who refuses me permission to sit in their profile notes, for future reference, but it is not very satisfactory I think, and I would prefer it if the software granted the opportunity to add an explanation.

[csdenmark]

I dont want to accept that kind of refusals. I therefore never try to enter anything with restrictions - tournaments, tables or whatever.

 

I never restrict anything myself.

[1eyedjack]

I dont want to accept that kind of refusals. I therefore never try to enter anything with restrictions - tournaments, tables or whatever.

 

I never restrict anything myself.

These days there are restrictions on nearly all events - tournaments, tables or whatever.

 

I don't have so much of a problem with restricted events where the criteria for rejection are pre-published.

[inquiry]

There are plenty of reasons for a rejection. Maybe it is last hand and they are not going to resume (best to turn table invisible in this case), maybe they are waiting for a known 4th to join table (best to assign seat for the person), maybe they only allow two-eyed Jacks or suicidial jacks, and not one eyed ones....

 

Who knows why. Don't mark them as enemies, dong' bug them about why they rejected you, simply move on to the next table.

 

Ben

[aisha759]

Oh, i know that rejection feeling! Most of the time one is refused from sitting at a table (not turney) is because they may be waiting for a particular player....but i do agree that it would be nice to know why one was refused to sit.... just like when a player suddenly leaves the table, a prompt tells other players very politely, that he/she has left because he/she has been vacuumed to a turney; otherwise if i were the player left behind, i might get paranoid, and take it as an insult, since players sucked into tournaments dont have a chance to say good bye and ty first (well they could announce at the beginning that they are registered)... as a sub though, one never knows, so that prompt is very useful...so along the same lines, maybe a few polite excuses to choose from as to why you have been rejected from a table....

Most table lately have a lock on them, and have restrictions which are not specified in the explanation box on the far right of table.... as in " french speaking only", " no privates" "experts only"....those can all be defined, but what about other reasons?

 

soo what are diplomatic reasons for being rejected?? (without making feel player unwanted)

 

1- waiting for crashee

2- waiting for opp

3- dont like your nick( not nice)

4- dont like your profile ( terrible)

 

there may be more, can't think of any though ;)

 

Paranoid Aisha♥

[1eyedjack]

There are plenty of reasons for a rejection. Maybe it is last hand and they are not going to resume (best to turn table invisible in this case), maybe they are waiting for a known 4th to join table (best to assign seat for the person), maybe they only allow two-eyed Jacks or suicidial jacks, and not one eyed ones....

 

Who knows why. Don't mark them as enemies, dong' bug them about why they rejected you, simply move on to the next table.

 

Ben

I have always accepted that there may be any number of bona fide reasons for rejecting, just as there may be a few less admirable reasons. It would be nice to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it is unpleasant that some nagging doubt may remain for want of the rejecter's ability to dispel it.

 

After all, if you went to an face-to-face club and a table was there with one empty seat and you ask to sit and they just say "no, go away", they may be within their rights but it is hardly courteous.

 

And I don't mark them as enemies ... just put a quiet note in the white space for possible future reference.

[slothy]

Dear 1eyedJack....

 

i wouldnt take it too personally....sometimes people are waiting for a p and cant be bothered to have the courtesy, as you said, to give an explanation to assuage the paranoic feelings that unfortunate souls like Aisha feel....

 

However, on reflection, i do think it could be personal.....

 

A lot of people dont like playing with people who aren't symmetrical ( a recent study in China showed that in a tournament setting 95% of people were unwilling to play at a table where the players NS had a thumb sticking out of their right shoulder) .. the fact that you have one eye may make some people feel uncomfortable - never mind having to turn your head 180 degrees when you want to look in the side-mirror of your car? - and would rather play with people who had the blessing to be born with 2 eyes....and to take this argument to its logical conclusion, losing by 34 imps to a monocular bridge player has the same loss of face as losing a 100m sprint to a person who has one leg....

 

....or it could be that your name is Jack? There are a lot of people out there whose first name is Jack, mainly male i hasten to add, and a corresponding number of women(ie those who rejected you on the table) whose first boyfriend had your name...and if this man, i dont know lets say, was not a good kisser, had halitosis maybe, wore his quiff on the right-side of his face, they may not feel emotionally strong enough to be reminded of this person by playing a few good hands of bridge against his name-sake (ie YOU) . Yet again, taking this argument to its logical conclusion, as this hypothetical guy called Jack had short relationships because of his misgivings, he thus had more opportunity to have OTHER relationships with other women and THUS the number of women on BBO who suffered the fate of being his ex increases manyfold.

 

I hope this has been helpful to you....if you require further help i can give you the web address for a support group for 1-eyed bridge players which also offers help and support for 3-eared clay-pigeon shooters and 5-armed discus-throwers...

 

Good luck!

[aisha759]

Amazing slothy! Who writes your lines? ♥ dont tell me you wrote that all by yourself (he he) I think you should win some sort of pullitzer prize for this..... not for peace, but definitely for the best humour on BBO FORUM!!!!

 

Sorry Jack, but the man is good!!!!

[1eyedjack]

A lot of people dont like playing with people who aren't symmetrical.. the fact that you have one eye may make feel some people uncomfortable

Heh, good stuff

 

In fact I am only 1-eyed in profile heh heh, as in ♠J or ♥J or ♦K using UK/Waddingtons cards, or the same but excluding ♦K using Microsoft cards, or just the ♠Q using BBO cards. I would still be 1-eyed when looking the other way. :-) (don't they have any smiley icons in profile on this site?)

[spwdo]

hi,

 

 

think we have to make a poll for alex to give him a daily columm where he cant write his dialy funstuff so we dont have to keep looking where he is spilling his g..

 

 

another ROFL for slothy

 

 

 

p.s. just protecting my far supirior poster ranking oppsite of BEGINNER POSTER slothy

[aisha759]

good idea marc :)

[slothy]

Dear 1eyedjack...

 

I never suggested that you had one eye in REAL LIFE please forgive me if that was the impression I gave...

 

and of course no offence to people who do have one eye..they may read this with a different perspective than the rest of us....

 

i have to say though....

 

If your avatar is a true picture of you then you have enough to contend with...the color and size of your nose may cause you acute embarrassment, the color of your lips suggests an unfortunate case of labial gangrene and i can give you some Grecian 2000 so that your hair is no longer the same color as the 70 year old women who attend my great-aunts knitting circle.....

 

i can give you another link if this has caused certain problems for you in finding a prospective mate?

[spwdo]

Dear 1eyedjack...

If your atavar is a true picture of you then you have enough to contend with...the color and size of your nose may cause you acute embarrassment and the color of your lips suggests an unfortunate case of l gangrene.....

 

i can give you another link if this has caused certain problems for you in finding a prospective mate?

WHERE DOES HE GET IT

 

 

 

ROFL

[aisha759]

Talk about rejection!!!

Beginner/int lounge rejected me, actually threw me out after they accepted me, and found out i belonged to abalucy :) I guess that makes me an expert!

Can't play in topflight, im not a star!!! Cant play in stars, yellows, and good players (none of the above).... Cant play in juniors, missed the boat!!!

Where does someone like me go? i was thinking of starting my own rejcts club!!!

On top of that, tables rejct me too, hopeless case here :(

What to do????? SOS!!

 

Truly desperate,

Aisha

[1eyedjack]

Talk about rejection!!!

Beginner/int lounge rejected me, actually threw me out after they accepted me, and found out i belonged to abalucy :) I guess that makes me an expert!

Can't play in topflight, im not a star!!! Cant play in stars, yellows, and good players (none of the above).... Cant play in juniors, missed the boat!!!

Where does someone like me go? i was thinking of starting my own rejcts club!!!

On top of that, tables rejct me too, hopeless case here :(

What to do????? SOS!!

 

Truly desperate,

Aisha

It is getting a bit ridiculous.

 

I tried to join a tourney the other day and it would not let me in. I messaged the TD to ask what gives and was directed to the tourney rules. Sure enough, it said

 

"No beginners or privates".

 

Now, I consider that emasculating myself in order to get a game is a bit extreme.

 

Anyway, TD messaged me to say that it was indeed that my player level was set to "Private" and if I changed it (not to beginner, obviously) I would be admitted.

 

Sod that, I thought, and went to play elsewhere. Later he was advertising for subs. "Should I", I thought? "Nnnnnnnnnnnnn...ope". Let him stew.

[slothy]

Talk about rejection!!!

....

Where does someone like me go? i was thinking of starting my own rejcts club!!!

On top of that, tables rejct me too, hopeless case here :)

What to do????? SOS!!

.....

i agree with you Aisha...

 

I in fact, out of generosity, offer my services to co-host this rejects tourney with you...

 

However, it does offer some paradoxical argument as to why it will not take off and i doubt it will become as successful as whats-his-name's tourney..oh yes spwdo...

 

The reason being is this....if somebody wants to join the TOURNEY FOR REJECTS tourney then, by definition, you have to perforce reject them... (and as monocled jack suggested you do not have to explain why as it is self-evident)

 

that means that you will have a tourney with no entrants and it will run very smoothly

[ecepal]

\\\\aishacim,//////

I will have you in FOT dear any time you are welcome

but dear you are the "queen of the hearts" lol

does this say anything to you?

ROFL

ece

[aisha759]

Ececim♥ You have saved me from becoming suicidal!!!! i know belong to FOT!!!

And i will in return, never ever, reject you from my REJECTS cllub!!!! so it will be you and i playing against.....well whoever (he he)

 

 

 

 

mucukkkssssssss

Aisha

[spwdo]

hi,

 

you is in bad luck aisha, i know the feeling , i m a bill reject too, and u cant play in my tourneys while when u are there i always keep asking u to help out:)) well i woud appreciate if u and slothy woud play in a bridge to far next time, alex helping me out is proven to be enough for one week , i may need some time to recover from that as u of all people can understand that

 

i had to edit this , while i was wrinting it ece and aisha posted a new replie causing mine to look stupid now do`h , well happy for you after all and please make me member of you reject club(one condition, please please dont make alex a member)))

marc

[slothy]

Dear Marc,

 

for the benefit of us who are simple folk :) , can you please re-submit your previous post in English....

 

Thank you in advance....

 

Alex

 

:(

[slothy]

\\\\aishacim,//////

I will have you in FOT dear any time you are welcome

but dear you are the  "queen of the hearts" lol

does this say anything to you?

ROFL

ece

.....well it says.... ummmm it depends...do i have to lead her as Roman or standard?

 

Anyway,

 

Are you two establishing some sort of Mutual Admiration society? And if you are is it restricted to (non-resident) Turkish women??

 

Alex...

 

Love you both...

 

(In different ways, needless to say)

 

 

Now, I consider that emasculating myself in order to get a game is a bit extreme.

 

 

At a snip, i think you are right Jack: tooooo extreme...and i imagine your wife/girlfriend/live-in lover/once-a-weeker (please delete as appropriate - multiple entries remaining may cause some distress to readers [especially if one of them is your wife :)]) may think likewise...

 

I can direct you to another site for help if, in a moment of sheer frustration, you did in fact go through with the consideration..

[JRG]

Getting back to the original post...

 

I have been the author of rejections (forgive me!). The problems I run into, and the reasons for rejecting, are:

 

- We are playing a set game (prearranged, 4 people). I set the table up using reservations. Everything is fine until it is time to break up. When that happens, I usually want to chat with my partner for a minute or so to arrange when we will play the following week.

 

- An opponent (or both) leave. Now, quick as a bunny, someone requests to sit. I cannot reply why, only reject.

 

- I do rejection and try to click TABLE button to do something about it, but before I can, two more requests pop-up.

 

- I had thought the option to "Reject all, table closing" was meant to solve this problem (but I guess not).

 

- If I can manage to do so, I make the table invisible; but often it is kibitzers who are asking and making the table invisible doesn't make them go away (I don't know why they try to sit when we have been chatting at the table about the game breaking up).

 

- I used to always make my table invisible when I set it up (and thus did not run into this problem). But that is unsociable and I do have some friends on BBO that like to chat at the table with us.

 

- My final solution is to reserve the seats for "reserved". That works, as long as I get a chance to hit the TABLE button before the requests start coming in (I usually don't think of doing this until I get the first request -- I'm too busy trying to find out when we will play again to remember).

 

What I would really like to see is that when a table is set up with all four seats reserved, that when a player leaves voluntarily, the seat is kept reserved (perhaps with a fake Id like "reserved"). The problem with being able to enter a response when you reject a request to sit is that in the time taken to respond, the requests may queue up.

 

Oh, I did try clicking the TABLE button while a request to sit was up, but couldn't do so. I should check again to see if the behaviour has changed.

 

It's not even that we are experts or well known. While sometimes it is people I know that ask, often it someone I have never heard of.

[aisha759]

Hi;

Making table invisible doesnt really solve the problem; as you mentioned JRG it is unsociable for one; besides that, friends who see you idle in lobby, can't see you are playing, therefore start sending a lot of private messages, whereby you have to explain that table is invisible... knowing a friend is busy playing, one wouldn't carry on a long private conversation..

It doesn't bother me at all when rejected from a table, there is usually a valid reason; i doubt table host has the time to read all profiles and be that choosy... I personally either save a seat and mark it xx, if waiting for someone, or allow players to sit without asking... im not really into this rejecting stuff... if they happen to sit, and table is about to break up, i just tell them so...

 

I don't believe it should be taken personally at all...... :)

[ecepal]

Hi If I may ,like to say one thing please.

when you set up a table(that is when you are the host lol) you have options,

one option is to describe the table type..

some write there experts only.. some writes fun only...etc etc

maybe IMO we can try writing "BY INVITATION ONLY" maybe that helps a little:))

thank you ecepal

[aisha759]

Ececim: very good point..... why didnt i think of that!!! WE all know what to expect when "expert only" is written or "french speaking only" etc..... this way, a player knows that he/she may rejected, and not get offended!

Right on!♥