blackbikin Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 ;) director: you called your partner idiotplayer, yes it's true, my p is my wife and it's part of foreplay :P directr:you did not explain the bid, just alerted itplayer:i said it's a bluff, how do you explain it¿ director: your p and opps is complaining of your play, did you play bridge before¿player: no never, but i can belly dance, they told me it's belly dancing :o they are sweetsbarbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 I come at table and one has red dot. The partner: She has red lips.We all watched the red dot and it started to go out and on, out and on.The partner: Now she is blushing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aisha759 Posted March 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 ♥ Thats what i thought also!!! Ufff now i have to learn to play bridge...wasted all my free time learning how to belly dance, not realizing that i had to know how to play bridge at the same time ♥ Nice one blackbickini ;) Aisha P.S. we need more of those!!! keep the funny ones coming TD's :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 yes it is a nice avatar hoggy thx... This in a tourney not so long ago ;) At a table in tourney, general talk then... .... Slothy: seni cok seviyorum ortak Fifi: tskller p bende Opp: Sorry opps it was said at the beginning that this was an English speaking only tourney. OBEY THE RULES pls Slothy: Was just telling my p I adored her in her native tongue… Fifi: : ) Opp: You can tell her in English cant you? Slothy: You are right, Sir, I can. But when I tell her in English she doesn’t believe me… Opp: Cant you keep your personal talk till after the tourney is finished…then you can talk in any language you want.. Other opp: (sent me privy that her p a bit of a stiffy) I hope you two are married (she said it jokingly) Slothy: Yes we are…but not to each other. Fifi: He asked me to marry him but I said no because he proposed in English. Slothy: You see opp! Opp: I talk in English that is all I am saying… Slothy (in grrrr mode) : Perhaps because it is the only language you can speak…ok I promise to keep my personal emotions to myself…they seem to upset you <next few lines edited out hee hee as may cause offence> Slothy: p, frijiderdek peniri kirmizi kaplumbag yiyor… Opp: If you write again in whatever language you are speaking I will call TD Slothy (in provocative mode) : I just told my p that I have 6 hearts and I want a diamond ruff Fifi: lol he didn’t opp. He just said, with a few mistakes, that the cheese in the fridge was eaten by the red frog… Slothy: !!!! oh you not a good teacher then are you p…ufff got to start learning this language all over again!! Opp: One board more thank God!! (we met them 2 rounds later 2 words said in 15 minutes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spwdo Posted March 28, 2004 Report Share Posted March 28, 2004 some new that got my attention when i finally dare to ask alex to help me out in a tourney, some are announcements, some is convers between us spwdo->Tournament: thx alex for helping on such short notice, alex is cotd and has a great sub record in this tourneyall who read his replie on a bridge too far know what im talking about lothy->Tournament: HELLO ALL - nice to be at your service - Marc has finally accepted that he cannot cope without my expert TD skills.... ...seconds later he ask me how to change directions for adjusting purrposseslothy (Lobby): how do you see where somebody was sitting?(evindence of this) slothy->Tournament: we are all fair..although speaking for myself i have a slight prejudice towards Mediterranean looking woman with long ...slothy->Tournament: eye-lashes who look great in a bikini....nothing to add to that one spwdo: 788888888888888888888888888888spwdo: sorry cat came byeslothy: your cat is very numerate Marc.. slothy (Lobby): adjusted for cressslothy (Lobby): 4S x making->slothy: well done alex:))slothy: lol i have done it b4 you know slothy->Tournament: !H !H everything ok folks...unusually quiet?? reminds me of a scene in a cowboy movie before the sheriff gets shot with ...slothy->Tournament: 34 bullets by a posse of bandits.....??? !H !H spwdo->Tournament: make sure you read all convention our co- td slothy for tonight has listed in his profileslothy->Tournament: Please ignore last request of my co-td spwdo....the medication from his doctor hasnt taken full effect yet it appears...plaese notice i became very rapidly a co td in my own tourney when alex was given a oppertunaty to show his talents lothy->Tournament: i hope this tourney is as enjoyable for everyone as it is nerve-racking for me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spwdo Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 hi, this morning saw a regular partner online yet on brb, i still asked her if she was intersted in playing a tourney, ten minutes later she replie to me : sorry love, i was cooking and i dint "head" you Later in the day i was talking with someoneelse about a mutual friend,covrsation went like this:A: u know xxxx too ? me: yes i like him, he is funny. A: yes he is a nice "gay". ok hope to write here soon again and wished i woud see some more of others as well p.s. is alex still around? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted April 10, 2004 Report Share Posted April 10, 2004 This is absolutely the best Thread of all. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. Slothy - can you skate? Does anyone besides me use WD40 in their tourneys? Frosty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackbikin Posted April 12, 2004 Report Share Posted April 12, 2004 :) i have -stupidly- decided to enter belly dancing as a player, to see how long it takes and how it's run by new td.new td and codirectors have turned off the chat to tounrey, so i could not say back a word¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the biggest torture in my life. :( after tourney i posted in lobby"all td of belly dancing to chat room, we will talk of freedom of speach"...im not telling you who turned up. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted April 16, 2004 Report Share Posted April 16, 2004 A player says an adjustment was wrong. I look movie and i see the board was nearly completed but certainly doubled down 2 and it was adjusted that way. So i tell the player the adjustment was ok. Player: Yes, it was down doubled 2 but my partner couldnot think well since opp played very slow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted April 16, 2004 Report Share Posted April 16, 2004 I come at table with player in red. I ask the partner whether he needs a sub. 'No, no sub, plse we wait.' We wait, we wait. Then the player says: 'Disconnect him but dont sub him.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted April 16, 2004 Report Share Posted April 16, 2004 In a tourney i have a cut of 20%. After a switch a player asks me from lobby:'Why did u throw me out?'I answer shortly: 'Cut 20%.'He replied: 'That wasnot nice of you.'A minute later i found time to write him: 'The system does it, not me.' The player: 'No it was not the system, the system only advertised i was excused and nobody came at my table.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sceptic Posted April 17, 2004 Report Share Posted April 17, 2004 Well on a light hearted note. I would like to tell you why you should never trust a Danish Person or allow one to play in your tournaments, as this is going back quite a few months, I had just started to direct the odd tournament and I was trying to be friendly to all, so I started to learn to say hi in various languages, Danish was one of the languages that I had no idea about, SO, I asked a good (EX) Danish friend, how to great people correctly in Danish. "Hejsa Store Patter" I tried it for a few weeks before some one kindly told me what it meant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted April 17, 2004 Report Share Posted April 17, 2004 Player: Can u plse let me in Glamour?I: U arenot on blacklist. Is yr pc used by other BBO players as well?Player: Yes, by Xy, he is my father.I: He is neither on blist, and Yx that isnot him?Player: That is my mother, now you know my whole family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted April 18, 2004 Report Share Posted April 18, 2004 Last night i played a bit with td tools to find out how some things work. I found out that i also cd create a tournament without filling in my name as director and that my name wd appear on the announcement of the tournament. A simple feature was enough!Today i created Glamour, using a k at the place of director and my name was entered in lobby. All is ok, i thought, and i started tournament. It was the most quiet tourney i ever had since the players cd not use the call dir button. It took me an hour to realise that this was since they called for k and not for Mirjam_3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spwdo Posted April 18, 2004 Report Share Posted April 18, 2004 hi, well thats a way to keep those calls down dear LOL, we shoud do that more often :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted April 19, 2004 Report Share Posted April 19, 2004 LOL - I too did what Mirjam_3 did ..... one tourney I posted with the "y" left off the end of my name. I didn't get a single call until I discovered the problem sometime during the third round! Everyone was hopping mad at Frost though! Frosty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackbikin Posted April 30, 2004 Report Share Posted April 30, 2004 :D belly dancing with redskin: player: TD, how do i alert i want some drink¿td:sorry¿player: ok then i alert, i want a double wiskey with water and ice what next¿ :D lovebarbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aisha759 Posted April 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2004 :lol: I thought this thread had died out..... but i was wrong! Mirjam and Frosty, your stories are hysterical, and blackbikini too ....I hosted with marc yesterday, cant remember if anything funny happened, ahh now i remember... one player's regular partner got disconnected, so i subbed, then sub said she needed to go to another turney (which i suppose she signed up for earlier and forgot to remove herself from a bridge to far) anyway, i did let her go, (didnt want to explain etiquette and so on) i replaced her, that replacement was also disconnected, and this went on and on, until the player sends me a private message saying she feels like a woman who has been married and divorced so many times (7 to be exact was the number of subs i gave her) Me: well, dont feel bad, you are like Elizabeth Taylor now, but without the solitaire :)) Had to make her smile, she was having a hard time.... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aisha759 Posted May 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2004 :) I was helping tritri, ariakas, marc and luis in directing a turney last night... 16 boards, many disconnects and a lot of score adjustments being demanded at the same time... One player asked me to adjust board 6 at table 5, 5 HeartsX-1... after i checked it, i confidently adjusted, and got a "ty" from player... lo and behold, a few minutes later, I recieve a private message from the same player telling me, I had adjusted board 5 at table 6, 6 HeartsX-1 !!!! I was too embarassed to admit to my mistake, and would have loved to tell the player that another TD may have done it by mistake, but I didnt and said i would recheck to see how the mistake happened.... Of course, i did fix it, but ended up having to readjust boards 5 and 6 at 2 tables, and spent the whole evening doing that! Thank God we were a few directors and I was able to take my time :) It wasnt funny at the time, and maybe not funny now either B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fouad Posted May 2, 2004 Report Share Posted May 2, 2004 Hi Aisha I realy enjoyed your stories ..which made me feel that not only me who meet these funny situations when runing my tourney "Earthquake tourney " here are some :) - a player was playing 7nt missing ace .. in imps tourney ( which sure will cost him many imps ) cldn't finish the board in time ..so average -ve was given automaticaly ...this player kept asking me "why av -ve" "i claimed and opp refused""this is not fair" and finally he asked "ARE U A DIRECTOR ?" B) - a player kept asking me to leave the tourney saying that he is novice and his expert pd could not win 1NT with 22 points :) - a player asked me to come to table cause slow play from opp .. and i guessed he was rite .. so i incresed the time of the round 4 min and his opp lost the board and paid 800 .... after the round one of his opp was angry why did i increase the time and that this cost him 800 cause the round time was going to end and the board was going not to be finished and that he wld have taken average :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted May 4, 2004 Report Share Posted May 4, 2004 Player: Plse sub me, i need to go.I: Ok, did you tell your p?Player: It is only a sub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothy Posted May 4, 2004 Report Share Posted May 4, 2004 Playing in a tourney, Aisha: i got bad connection here all. Might get disconnected :blink: Opp: OK but we nearly finished Aisha gets disconnected. Opps gettting nervous and the lady opp says we wont finish......Think is is time to start talking... Opp: You think aisha coming back Slothy. Shall we call host? Slothy: Give her a few minutes...she runs out of coal sometimes to fuel the computer... Opp: OK. We wont FINISH!! (thinking this hand a top anyway, might try and make it amusing...) Slothy: Oh My GOd. She just phoning me. There is a man trying to break into her house!!!! Opp: Oh no!!! Slothy: Yesss, its the postman apparently!!! Slothy: The postman has forced himself into her house, hit the Rottwieller over the head with a wholemeal baguette, and forced her at gun-point to lick her stamp for a letter he gave her !! Do you think i should call the police? Opp: Sorry dont understand much. Is she is in danger??? (Me: sorry i couldnt believe this remark; seems i got her hooked....Gonna milk this) Slothy: Well, it is quite a large stamp and her tongue isnt that big, although by the amount she talks you would have thought differently. Slothy: Going back to your previous remark, I dont know about Aisha, but this contract is in danger!!! Oh noooooo, she is screaming down the phone now!!!! She is screaming something like "Tra fishq ma na allah. " Geez i wish she wouldn't scream in Arabic when she is in a life-threatening situation... Opp: Do you speak Arabic? Slothy: Only a bit, but hard to understand somebody when their tongue is covered in adhesive gum....I think she is shouting something like "The King of spades is with West!!!". Out of curiousity, is she correct? Opp: OK :) you are joking!!! Please play.... Slothy: Oh my God!!! there is a funny sound on the phone....seems like the Rottwieler is eating the mobile phone!!! Theres a thhwwaaah thwwaaaaah grtteeettrr klump brrrr brrr sound...Dont want this Rottwiler to choke..she only bought it 3 weeks ago....DOWN Rover DOWN, let go let go, nice boy...... Opp: Please play!!!! There is only 5 minutes. I cant beleive this!! Slothy: I cant believe she called it Rover too. She hasn't got much of an imagination huh? Slothy: No problem, only 4 cards to play....anyway Aisha to play. Have you heard a Rottwieler chewing a mobile, <opp name>. It is quite interesting. Sounds like the opening of a EMINEM rap song (a white guy in dungerees for thos who arent generationally aware) Aisha: Back, sorry, i got disconnected. Slothy: How is the Rottwieler? Aisha: Huh. Slothy: Claim all tricks opp :) ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirjam_3 Posted May 5, 2004 Report Share Posted May 5, 2004 Since i have a private club for winners of Glamour and some of my friends i found it hard to let lobby see the Glamour Tournaments and the Glamour Tournaments of the Glamour Bridge Club (the private club ones). For the moment i call those of the private club Glamoured.Sometimes i open the table for non members to fill up tables or to get subs, so you cannot know for sure whether the players are members or not... At a certain moment a Glamour Bridge Club member wondered to me about his p: "Is he glamoured?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aisha759 Posted May 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2004 Helping Marc in his tourneys is a real adventure! He is a very seasoned and professional director, but....... loves to pull pranks on his co-TD's: I get called to a table: (prompt message said) <player> "director, opp says his p is dead."(i've heard a lot of different terminologies for a disconnected player: frozen, stuck, red, red-dotted,booted) but dead??? That was a first for me! I was busy doing some very complicated adjustment at the time, and on a long distance call (adjustment was wrong by the way) I suddenly left what i was so eagerly doing, and ran to the table! Thank god the guy was alive and kicking, but not responding, so i proceeded to do my favorite : replacing disconnected player (whose nick by the way was something like jdrbd3Fmr....a bit of an exageration, but close :blink:) suddenly, i find myself sitting in the dead player's seat...the biding was over, the first card had been led and I had to make this contract which was a 3NT. As I was busy asking spwdo (mark) what happened and why i was playing rather than helping ( no reply from him which automatically made me think i had subbed myself... lack of confidence you see :lol:) I made that 3NT (out of pure luck), only to find out it was a surprise from Marc, to make me sub rather than let me help him out! In the meantime, I am still listed as TD so still recieving calls for subbing and adjusting etc..... there was nothing i could do about it, but to divert calls to the other co-hosts, and to my surprise!!!!!! Marc had done the same thing with another co-TD, and put him in as a sub! Thank god it was 2nd to last round and we were able to have fun with all this... I think Marc is a masochist ( slothy if the spelling is wrong please feel free to correct in next post) He asks for help, then subs the help! Intersting though.... when a player gets a TD as sub, the whole table starts behaving in a different manner (e.g. tempo, alerts, only english at table, even if they can't speak one word) evertything seems to fall into place.... You have all heard the saying "its good to be de king!" well i'll tell you," its good to be de directorrrrr" (sometimes) P.S. I added a lot of salt and pepper to this post to make it more interesting... the names have been changed to protect the innocent :) Keep your stories coming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spwdo Posted May 6, 2004 Report Share Posted May 6, 2004 :) Something went wrong here resulting in 2 posts , Ben if u can edit one before Alex picks up on it :blink: i woud owe u one :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.