Darwins award

[sceptic]

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried

the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

 

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting

machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company

expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He

tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

 

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during

a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken

the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from

Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the

driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free

ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the

staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.

The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds

received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries,

the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get

his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled

a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20

bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

 

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd

just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and

run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,

knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The

whole event was caught on videotape.

 

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed

her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able

to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the

police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to

the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there

for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's

the lady I stole the purse from.'

 

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into

a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded

cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash

register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk

said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

 

******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at

the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near

spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to

steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank

by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that

it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.

[kenberg]

I always expect to see myself and my friends on one of these lists. Back in my teenage days I rebuilt the engine on my 47 Plymouth. New rings, new rod bearings, rebuilt carburetor, the works. The engine was of course a bit tight so a friend helped by pushing with his car to get mine going but although the engine would turn it wouldn't start. I got out and eventually figured that I had forgotten to put the needle valve back into the carburetor (it controls the flow of gasoline). No problem, another friend Neal said. We hadn't put the hood back on yet so Neal volunteered to ride on the front fender with his finger acting as the needle valve. Remarkably, this worked. Until a backfire through the carburetor set the engine on fire.

 

Live (hopefully) and learn (hopefully).

[whereagles]

total pwnage... lol.

[inquiry]

This one should jump to the top of any list....

 

http://www.suntimes.com/news/24-7/861209,C...-cell26.article

 

The gist of the story is....

 

Robber goes to store to rob it... No money in the shop's register, robber is told only money in safe, and only the manager had access to it and he would not be in to later....

 

So, the robber gives them his cell phone number and told at least one employee to give him a ring when the boss got in. When boss came in, they called the guy and he came back!

[blackshoe]

We had a Darwin award candidate here in Rochester some years ago. Actually, we've had several, but this one kind of stands out in my memory.

 

Seems this guy decided one night to hold up a local bar. So he walks in, pulls out his pistol, fires a round into the ceiling, and yells "Stick 'em up!" or words to that effect.

 

He neglected to take into account that this bar was a hangout for off-duty cops. Facing odds of some 27 pistols to one, he decided to give up. Only smart thing he did all day. :angry:

[Deanrover]

link to 7?

[pclayton]

#4 isn't stupid, it's brilliant!

[barmar]

Yeah, I'm not sure why #4 is included in this. The Darwin Awards are supposed to be for examples where someone is negatively impacted as a direct result of their own stupidity, providing confirmation of survival of the fittest (or, more specifically, non-survival of the least fit). #4 shows ingenuity in hiding his stupidity. Although I suppose when the deception was discovered, he was punished; but it doesn't seem any more deserving of the award than someone getting arrested for drunk driving.

 

But maybe the award was actually to the people who were duped into taking the free bus ride and ended up in a mental hospital for several days.

[Apollo81]

The OP was taken from:

 

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp