kenrexford Posted March 13, 2008 Report Share Posted March 13, 2008 I just heard my favorite quote from a judge on Tuesday in an appellate hearing. Spoken to a prosecutor. "Yes, yes. This is a very serious charge, I know. But, as a general rule, it does not seem that we want to put innocent people in jail, or to sentence them for 13 counts if they only did one." Scary that this needed to be stated. And now for something completely different... My favorite quote to three judges of an appellate panel, at oral argument: "Let me as@-fu!$ you. It will be over in a minute." Yes, I actually had the opportunity to say this very thing to three judges in a public hearing. Better yet -- I was able to do this with a number of newspaper reporters and concerned citizens listening in. The context? My client was accused of doing the Senator trick in a Cleveland restroom. The Ohio law he was charged with seemed discriminatory, as he could not be convicted of as serious an offense had he done the exact same thing in the women's restroom, same-gender-solicitation being required. So, I took the prosecutors very eloquent statement of facts and changed the he's him's and his' to she's, her's, and hers' to illustrate that the "outrageous nature of his conduct" was irrelevant. The bonus was no contempt charge for saying to three judges, in court, in front of reporters, "Let me @ss ck you. It will be over in a minute" and then finish my oral argument "in a minute." BTW -- We won the case. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackshoe Posted March 13, 2008 Report Share Posted March 13, 2008 ROFL! Classic! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenberg Posted March 13, 2008 Report Share Posted March 13, 2008 I suppose it's picky to note that "oral argument" seems to have a slightly wrong referent there. My experience with law enforcement is mercifully minor but in my younger days I did once seek the help of a lawyer. I walked into his office and saw a big eight ball sitting on his desk and a "Hands off Lenny Bruce" button on his lapel. I figured I had found the right guy. We also won. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonottawa Posted March 14, 2008 Report Share Posted March 14, 2008 Re the quote: Not many judges like that. Glad to hear there's a few left. Re the case: Glad you won. Victimless crimes should never be more than misdemeanors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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