sceptic Posted September 25, 2007 Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, - Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane... At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army. Mommy fainted! THE MORAL HERE IS: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sceptic Posted September 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 A convict breaks into a house, and ties up the husband and wife. He jumps on the wife, kisses her ear, then runs to the bathroom. The husband whispers to his wife "satisfy him or he will kill us. I saw the way he kissed you, just be strong, I love you." The wife replies "he didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear he's gay and horny and looking for vaseline. I told him it's in the bathroom. Let's see who's ****** strong now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sceptic Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length>looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed,>middle-aged, French woman's poodle.>>The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman>just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My>little Fifi is using that seat.">>The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under>that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired." She snorted, >"Not>only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!">>This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog,>tossed it out the train window, and sat down.>>The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! This American should be>put in his place!">>An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often >seem>to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the >wrong>hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you>seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossoneri Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 I like the last one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluffy Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uday Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 I deleted a post that some viewers might find objectionable. The watercooler has lower standards for propriety than the other BBO forums, and in general viewers are presumed to have thicker skins. Still, some consideration for the other viewers ( some of whom are female, some of whom are youngsters ) would be appreciated. Uday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluffy Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 "Dear", said the wife."What would you do if I died?""Why, dear, I would be extremely upset", said the husband."Why do you ask such a question?""Would you remarry?" persevered the wife."No, of course not, dear" said the husband."Don't you like being married?" said the wife."Of course I do, dear" he said."Then why wouldn't you remarry?""Alright", said the husband, "I'd remarry.""You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt."Yes" said the husband......."Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause."Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband."I see", said the wife indignantly."And would you let her wear my old clothes?""I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband."Really", said the wife icily."And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?""Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do.""Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet."And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too.""Of course not, dear, " said the husband. "She is left-handed." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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