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sorry


mike777

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Mike,

 

Repeat after me: "Sorry....is a board game. It involves slides and reverses and "oops, sorry!" when it's not truly sincere because you really want to bonk your annoying 1st cousin from entering their home for the 3rd time before you even have one in." .

 

Now, let's go and drink a beer.

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I'm going to apologize now for my many sins of this life:

 

1. I am sincerely apologetic for being weak in the knees for redheads. This is a long-standing issue that I can't seem to shake and thusly is a flaw of my character. I especially have issues with shoulder length haired redheads and a pretty face. Drooling, begging, worshipping - it's a byproduct of redheads with me.

 

2. I am very sorry for being a vocal conservative in viewpoint and thusly not being progressive enough. Maybe when I enter my middle-age crisis I will attempt to live a little bit, maybe I'll even be able to say that <coughs loudly and belches> that I have liberalized my perspectives.

 

3. I am sorry for my Skittles habit. I can't help myself. A red bag lays across from me and I tear into it as if life depended on it. It's a crippling addiction and has hurt my ability to appreciate 3 Musketeers and Milky Way bars with any measure of success.

 

4. I apologize for being a non-comformist. My refusal to adhere to standard has caused great consternation and the view that I am a rogueish bridge thug. Rest assured I will aspire to play bridge in a more natural and easily understood sense in the next few years. It's a struggle, but one day, one day I tell you, 1C will be natural....

 

5. I apologize that I haven't insulted Richard enough, and that I haven't been insulted by Richard enough either. I offer a peace offering of a fine bottle of local Virginia wine to help aid in the insulting and rampant characterizations.

 

6. I'm sorry that it took me 30 years to finally figure out that I don't have to spend my hard-earned coin on the latest electronic gadget, and that, well, saving does have its unexpected joys....such as buying a new Leopard-shod iMac in October hopefully....

 

7. Lastly, I apologize for being named after a short, round, green fruit. It is a burden that I have to bear but I shall endure.

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2. I am very sorry for being a vocal conservative in viewpoint and thusly not being progressive enough. Maybe when I enter my middle-age crisis I will attempt to live a little bit, maybe I'll even be able to say that <coughs loudly and belches> that I have liberalized my perspectives.

 

It will be sooner than you think. Next November, you will vote for Hillary.

 

Now, lie back, breathe deeply, close your eyes, and smile.

 

Peter

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  • 4 years later...

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