My Favorite Hand from Tonight

[kenrexford]

You really need to know the characters at play, but the archetypes are well-known. The guy to my right is a fairly decent player who is always quite frustrated (and vocal about it) when his partner pitches wrong. The guy to my left always pitches "wrong," but he always seems to have an incredibly difficult problem that I can understand. This causes me great secret laughter.

So, the contract is 7♥, me as dummy, on this layout:

 

[hv=d=n&v=n&n=sqxhaqxxxxdkjxca2&w=sxxxhxdqxxxxckxxx&e=sj109xhjxxdxxxxcqx&s=sakxxhkxxdacj6543]399|300|Scoring: MP[/hv]

 

No one, except us, reached 7♥.

 

RHO made the rather simple opening lead of a spade, won by my partner with the Queen.

 

Of course, the obvious line is a diamond to the Ace, back to the club Ace, ruff a diamond, pull trumps, and claim. But, that would not be quite as fun.

 

The alternative line is rather amusing as well. After playing a diamond to the Ace, maybe someone looks too eager for an over-ruff or something. So, you change tacks and go for the non-simultaneous squeeze line. Of course, it sort of plays itself out. You pull trumps and play all of them, ditching all but two clubs and three spades in dummy.

 

Then, with nothing better to do, Declarer plays the diamond King, just in case the Queen drops, pitching one of the two remaining clubs in dummy. Bad luck!

 

However, on this diamond, my RHO gets to make his troubling pitch first (clearing him to properly blame his partner), unguarding the club Queen to save spades and clearing up the issue with regard to diamonds.

 

Now, with nothing better to do, Declarer runs off two more spades -- darn! They don't split either! Oh well, I'll ditch the diamond Jack, because that can't be good. Maybe someone will pitch clubs, like an idiot!

 

Sure enough, thinks my RHO, my poor unlucky LHO needs to make a pitch himself on that third spade. He cannot pitch the diamond, or Declarer will know that the Jack is good, so he pitches the club and hopes.

 

Declarer then leads up to the club Ace, dropping the King and Queen together, and, amazingly, the deuce is good -- what foolish defense!

 

However nicely the original line might look, and no matter how elaborate the alternative line, it lacks the flair I seek at this table, against these gentlemen. For, if my LHO actually has no chance, then the arguments are definitely unfair. I'd much rather that LHO have a real problem that he can solve -- much more fun.

 

So, what happens if we forget to clear the diamond?

 

Oh, that works well also. You pull trumps and then think. Oh crap! Well, small diamond to dummy, followed by a diamond-spade squeeze might work, or even a spade-club squeeze has a chance. No way! Let's simply cash the diamond Ace, run the spades in case there are only twelve of them, and then ruff a spade to hand, cash the diamond King, and run the hearts.

 

Ah! But what pitch did you make on the third spade? A club, of course.

 

What precisely is my LHO to do? When Declarer does not ruff out the diamond, it sure looks like there is no ruff to take. That gives Declarer one more club, and thus RHO cannot guard clubs. So, of course, LHO ditches his diamond Queen in the end and the grand slam makes.

 

Now I get to laugh, as RHO comments on how LHO should have saved the diamond and let him protect the clubs, of course!

[foo]

I see I'm not the only one who subjects the opponents to a "compression blame squeeze" every now and then... B)

[jdonn]

Well bid sir!