Winstonm Posted February 20, 2007 Report Share Posted February 20, 2007 (Sung to the tune of Hey, Jude) Hey, dude,Don't let me down,Now you've found hergo on finesse herRemember, unblock along the waythen you can beginto learn how to play Hey, dude,Don't be afraidwhen you have 12 pointsthen you can doubleRemember,I opened in first seatAnd it would be neatif you'd just double, double, double, double, oh.....nah, nah, nah, nah...nah, nah, nah, nah....double...double, double, double, double, double (Sung to the tune of Yellow Brick Road) How are ya gonna go down?What tricks ya gonna trash?We should have cut for pardsI should have brought a lot more cashMaybe I can find a replacementA kibitzer catchin a snoozeOr someone itchin for a tablefilling his snout full of booze So goodbye to five cent gameWhere cash goes down the drainYou can't stick me with this madmanI'm going to go insaneBack I go to duplicate bridgenever to gamble againOh I've finally decided the glory liesBeyond the five cent game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sceptic Posted February 20, 2007 Report Share Posted February 20, 2007 Winstonm you obviously have to much time on your hands, get a job LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keylime Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 I thought about this on the Metro today....picture Timberlake's "SexyBack" turned into "Return My Lead Back". It has "potential". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted February 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 (Sung to the tune of Strawberry Fields ) Let me double you cause I'm holding yourAce King of trumpsyou bid too muchand now this slam cannot makeAce, King of trumps, forever Doubling is easy with a trump stackand they misunderstood the bidsIt's getting hard to keep the smirkwiped from my face even a coup won't save their ass Let me double you cause I'm holding yourAce King of trumpsyou bid too muchand now this slam cannot makeAce king of trumps, forever Ace king of trumps, foreverAce king of trumps, forever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted February 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 (Sung to the tune of Subterranean Homesick Blues) Johnny's in the bathroom, kibitzer's turnin, emI'm on the declare, huntin' for the queen againMan on the left side, last card, fast cardsays he needs a time out, wants to think really hardLook out kibs, he's actin really glibhe better duckat his turn to playI'll go wrong, anywayNever could find a queenbetter have an ice cream Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted February 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 (Sung to the tune of The Piano Man) Well, Sal, the director's a friend of mineHe lets me play for freeCause I'll play with a dopeand give him the ropeto hang both him and me Oh, da,da,da,da,da,da,da, da, da,da So play me a hand Mr. Bridge manplay for free all nightCause we're all in the mood for a duplicateAnd you make the movement right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zasanya Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 Try something starting with Partner had a yarborough as always....Opponent had a setting trick in handO Bloody O .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keylime Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 Picture this: AC/DC's "Who Made Who" into "Who Trumped You". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberlour10 Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 what about "All Along The Watchtower" by Bob Dylan.. "There must be some way out of squeeze"said the declarer to the dummy"There's too much confusion on this boardI can't get no relief" "No reason to get excited",the dummy, he friendly spoke"There are many here among uswho feel that bridge is but a joke" All along the screentower,the TD kept the view.. :D Robert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtfanclub Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 (sung to the tune of 'I touch myself') When we're in a 5-2,I want you to love me, When I have the king-jack,I want you above me. When I have the ace king, just drop right to me. If I forget you, I'm sure you'll remind me... I don't want...anybody else.When I think about you, my Queen of TrumpsOhhhhhhh I don't want...anybody else.oh no, oh no, oh no! You're the one, who takes my jacks running,You take the wind out of my sails,You're still around when I try dropping,my finesse always fails. (etc) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted February 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 (sung to the tune of 'I touch myself') When we're in a 5-2,I want you to love me, When I have the king-jack,I want you above me. When I have the ace king, just drop right to me. If I forget you, I'm sure you'll remind me... I don't want...anybody else.When I think about you, my Queen of TrumpsOhhhhhhh I don't want...anybody else.oh no, oh no, oh no! You're the one, who takes my jacks running,You take the wind out of my sails,You're still around when I try dropping,my finesse always fails. (etc) Nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted February 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2007 (Sung to the tune of Come Together) Zoom do do do dumzoom do do do dum He got no spotcardshe got bad distributionhe got minimum high cardshe got lousy contract he say, three and three and two is eightI don't think I can make itif this heart suit don't break Crash togetherright nowBe three-three Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted February 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2007 (Sung to the tune of Born to be Wild) Got our biddin hummin'cause the tournament is comin'been practicin' really hardbreakin' in a new pard Yes we'll play every sessionno matter what time it iswe don't need no sleepwe came to win We got a lot of fancy bidsgonna have a lot of kibsdazzle em with our stuffwe simply can't bid enough We're gonna own this tourneywe're gonna have our wayas long as we don't faceanyone who can play Born to play flight CBorn to play flight C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barmar Posted February 23, 2007 Report Share Posted February 23, 2007 (To the tune of Scarborough Fair) Are you holding a Yarborough, pard?Diamonds, hearts, clubs, nothing in spades.Remember when you had a good hand.We have both had much better days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted February 23, 2007 Report Share Posted February 23, 2007 To the tune of "Monday, Monday" by the Momma's and Poppa"s Preempts, preempts;can't trust those bids. Preempts, prempts;when you don't bid you wish you did. But preempts mostly,they turn out quite ghostly,they're less than they seem.But preempts, preempts,how could you beand do that to me.... Every other hand (every other hand)Every other hand they find a call, it's sooooo unfairBut whenever preempts come (but whenever preempts come)you'll find me squirming right in my chair...I pull out my hair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted March 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2007 (Sung to the tune of: I've Got Friends In Low Places) Well you have your nerve to play with meyou must be a friendIt sure would be nice to hope that we couldbreak this trend I could blame it on fate or simple bad luckbut that's only pretendThe plain truth about it is in the resultsI never win Oh, I bring friends into low placeslike a fifth place tie in the sectional raceswe should have wonbut I came undone You won't find my name in the Barry Crane racesOr making my mark on the world stagesOh, I bring friendsInto low places Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted March 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2007 (Sung to the tune of: On the Road Again) Find the Queen againI've just got to find the Queen againI ain't got a single clue to what hand she's inBut I've just got to find the Queen again Find the Queen againI could try to get a little hesitationFind the Queen againBut that play would surely soil my reputation Find the Queen againA million times I've had to find the Queen againSeems like when you play this game, one thing stays the sameAnd that is you've always got to find the Queen again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted March 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2007 (Sung to the tune of: Lord, Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz) Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a professional pardMy friends all say I'm hopelessMy play is too marredBut I know I could win if I tried really hardOh, Lord, won't you buy me a professional pard Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a new system to playA Lot of fancy gadgetswould just make my dayI know that I would win more if I could only relayOh, Lord, won't you buy me a new system to play That's it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goobers Posted March 9, 2007 Report Share Posted March 9, 2007 omg So when is the CD coming out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted March 9, 2007 Report Share Posted March 9, 2007 Winston was having some problems with the shower head so it may be some time.... :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted March 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2007 (With Apt aplologies to Johnny Mathis: sung to the tune of: Chances Are) Chances areThat the King will be offsidethe moment you decide to bid a slamWell chances are the chances areawfully grim Chances areThat you'll wear a silly grinas you record your result of down oneWell chances are the chances areyou've lost again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted March 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2007 Winston was having some problems with the shower head so it may be some time.... ;)"Well, splish, splash I was runnin the bathecoup last Saturday night." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted March 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2007 (Sung to the tune of Edelweiss: with apt apologies to Julie Andrews) Ace held thriceAce held thriceit's such a thrill to see youShape is niceAnd spots are rightI think I have an opening Two for a doubeletonand one for shapeone for shape, misleadingFive three three twoWhat should I doOpen no trump or in spades? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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