sceptic Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Here is the problem in a nutshell There are no such things as problems, they are challenges, this is my bosses favorite quote, his next favorite quote is, you are a manager manage it, his third favorite quote, is I will get back to you. needless to say this last quote is the most inaccurate quote any manager will ever use as they never do. They are making him redundant in the new year and they have just offered me his job, under another job title and a nice payrise. There is justice after all, hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha p.s. I turned it down as I do not want to do all the extra hours they will expect of me and I can not talk the prerequisite amount of b****X required by a manger in this modern pink and fluffy business world, that I belong to. Please tell me the expression you most hate at work and why Then tell me, do you suffer form this management speak and looking at yourself in the mirror over the years, what is the most cringeworthy line you have ever used on one of your staff or at a meeting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whereagles Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 There are no such things as problems That is wrong. I can define whatever I want and I hereby define the word "problem". So there :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hrothgar Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 My group was once informed that we were "Proactive Agents of Change". Never quite figured out what this meant. As far as we could tell, we were supposed to actively go out and find areas that were not changing and then kick over the apple cart. Never struck me as very sound. The same boss spent a LOT of time holding team building exercises about "Turning Negatives into Postitives". He really liked his spin... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sceptic Posted December 22, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 That is wrong. I can define whatever I want and I hereby define the word "problem exactly, not a problem you have risen to the challenge and come up with an answer so there :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inquiry Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 There is no "i" in Team Utilize (anything) Why does utilize bother me? WTF ever happened to simple "use". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 "I'm telling you..." "Something is wrong" "This is not right" Rhetoric should be left in the mouths of orators. Administrative superiors should only be allowed to say "Yes" or "No". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pclayton Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 I have been off the corporate grid for over 4 years. Don't miss it at all, but not sure I could ever function again in that environment either. I've grown an ego and an opinion during the time off. Whats funny; I've received a few interesting emails from headhunters though. Oh decisions....... :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr1303 Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Anyone read a Dilbert book any time recently. I once had a boss tell me to "Work smarter, not harder". Back in my naive days I thought he was giving me genuine advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glen Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Years ago I explained to my boss at the time that there was not enough time allocated to the tasks assigned - he replied "make more time". Since then I've been working on a time machine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keylime Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 The one I like the most was when my ex-boss quoted Yoda... "Not try. Dooooo. There is no try." After the project failed anyway because of exactly what I had mentioned, I said back to duncesky: "Not ignore. Listennnn. There is no ignore." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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