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Offbeat bridge problem


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Stolen from a set of (mostly) bridge problems I just had mailed to me:

 

4) You are in 4S with 8xxx opposite AKQ7x in spades. The opps cash two tricks (an have another ace coming) and RHO plays S2. You win SA as LHO shows out. You claim down 1.

 

RHO (a semi-regular partner of yours): Oh, you could have made that...

You: _______?

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Sure, if I was Superman and had xray vision....

 

Yea, and I could win the lottery tomorrow

 

Tell you what, if we're playing together and you make this contract.....it will be the last time we play together.

 

Just as soon as I grow another two feet taller so I can peek into RHO's hand, I will.

 

I could have, but my other PC is on the fritz so I cant kib hands while playing anymore.

 

 

take your pick. ;)

 

(edit)

 

One additional one:

 

You would have made it since you always misplay the hands anyway.....

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You say: Please call the director, I am going to commit a violation of the zero tolerance policy.

 

Which reminds me of a story. Some years ago a thoroughly obnoxious player was doing his thing when the lady on his right told him where to stuff it. He called the director and the director convened a committee. After due deliberation the committee told him where to stuff it.

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