Rubbish Conventions

[pasker]

Hi all. For a joke a friend and I decided we would play a night of bridge using the worst system and conventions that we could find.

Any Suggestions? By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

 

Thanks Ben Paske

[Al_U_Card]

Ever try playing with NO conventions? :o Not stayman nor blackwood just all natural bids.....it is a hoot :P and quite confusing to the opps (if not to yourselves as well) B) and you don't have to spend any time learning anything that might contribute to the debacle due to not playing the "convention" properly.... :rolleyes:

[AlexOgan]

Hi all. For a joke a friend and I decided we would play a night of bridge using the worst system and conventions that we could find.

Any Suggestions? By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

 

Thanks Ben Paske

"Stolen bid" doubles at all levels after we open 1NT and they overcall?

[kenrexford]

I cannot remember the name of the convention, but there is a convention where a 4D response to a 1NT opening asks for exact strength, up the line. 4H = 15, 4S = 16, and 4NT = 17. Extrapolating, I like, as an idiot convention, using this always. Thus, a jump to 4D always asks for strength, in HCP's, up the line, starting with the minimum. E.g., 1S-P-4D!-P-? 4H = 11, 4S = 12, 4NT = 13, 5C = 14, 5D = 15, and so on.

 

If you really want to make best use of this nonsense, I'd suggest that the bid of 5D be a "Queen ask." Why not???

[EricK]

Is this actually legal? Doesn't one have to play to win?

[Walddk]

I cannot remember the name of the convention, but there is a convention where a 4D response to a 1NT opening asks for exact strength, up the line.  4H = 15, 4S = 16, and 4NT = 17.

Tarp's 4♦. Invented by Kaj Tarp of Århus, Denmark.

 

4♦ is range asking right enough. 4♥ minimum, 4♠ medium, 4NT maximum. 4NT over 4♥ and 4♠ are sign-offs.

 

If responder has enough for slam, he will now bid his 4-card suits up-the-line at the 6-level (even 7-level). If opener has 4 cards in the suit, he passes; if not they bid 4-card suits in turn until a fit has been found or 6NT (7NT) has been reached.

 

I don't think any sensible person in Denmark plays this, excuse me, nonsense convention these days, but I know that a few did 30 years ago (no, I was not among them).

 

Roland

[awm]

At some point a friend and I devised a card like this. Basically the constraint was that every convention on the card had to be one we'd actually seen someone play in an acbl event (so we can't just make up total nonsense). A few of the features I can remember:

 

(1) 16-18 notrumps at NV, 10-12 notrumps at V.

(2) "Could be short" in both minors, open balanced hands 1♣/1♦ based on strength.

(3) 2♦ mini-roman, 2♥ flannery

(4) CAPP vs strong notrumps, DONT vs weak notrumps

(5) 2♣ strong with step responses showing "points."

[ArcLight]

Strong 1NT Response structure

 

1NT - 2♦ or 2♥ (transfer)

2NT = maximum

 

Now opposite pards weak hand you can go down a few doubled at the 3 level when he was trying to help you.

 

AND

 

1NT - 2♣

2NT = maximum

 

Now you have succeeeded in using up a level of bidding for little gain.

[SoTired]

The All Psyche System (may be illegal)

 

0-3 = Open 1N

4-10 = Open in best suit and make non-jump, non-reverse, non-NT rebid

11-14 = Open in worst suit and make jump, reverse, or NT rebid

15+ = pass

[kfgauss]

By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

Very good. Make sure all 4♣ bids are Gerber. (And personally, I think straight gerber would be even more useless than actually having it be RKC gerber.)

 

Might as well have all 5♣ bids be super gerber while you're at it.

 

Andy

[Walddk]

By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

Very good. Make sure all 4♣ bids are Gerber.

Why of course ("selbstverständlich", as they would say south of the border), what else can 4♣ be?

 

Roland

[CarlRitner]

Ever try playing with NO conventions? :o Not stayman nor blackwood just all natural bids.....

No, but I have tried the "Nothing But Pass" system and it's almost amazing how well it works, depending of course on how quickly the opps catch on.

 

Carl

[mycroft]

Remember, if you're playing 4C always Gerber, that even (3S)-4C is Gerber. Note - this was thrown and caught by one pair I directed recently. No Alert, of course.

 

This beats my previous record of 1C-1S; 2C-2S; 3S-4C; 4S AP. Yes, 4C was Gerber. No, they didn't think this was unusual enough to let us know about, either.

 

Michael.

[jdonn]

My favorite was opponents

1♠ 4♣ 4♦ 5♣ 5♠

It is not just the fact that 4♣ and 5♣ were gerber, but they bid 5♣ despite being off two aces hehe.

 

I did not ask questions as we cashed our ace and ace king.

[mycroft]

I once played:

 

2C minor-suit Flannery

2D mini-Roman

2H Major-suit Flannery

2S Strong

 

- just because it's GCC legal. We did something else warped, I believe, but I can't remember what it was - strong 3s or something.

 

We played 5-rule Club once;

1) 1C 16+ any.

2) 1C-1D shows a non-GF.

3) 1M is 8-12, 4+M

4) 1NT is 12-15 balanced

5) 1D is 12-15 unbalanced.

 

We were playing standard weak 2s (1-7 HCP), but were told that in this club it had to be "5&5". So we filled a hole in our system - 2x became 13-16, 5+. That, actually, caused more trouble than the insanely weak 2s.

 

Michael.

[Echognome]

Quite a common system here at the bad clubs is:

 

1NT (12-14) - ?

 

2♠ - 10 hcp

2NT - 11 hcp

 

I also remember playing a pair where 1-level overcalls showed 10-14 hcp and 2-level overcalls showed 15+. We played against them for 12 boards at teams. The one hand where they had a 2-level overcall, it worked out ok for them. Needless to say our bidding was great that set as we had the auction to ourselves for most of it.

 

I think one must add the old direct cuebid shows a strong hand with first round control.

 

Of course playing all these conventions means you won't be bidding that often.

[MickyB]

Quite a common system here at the bad clubs is:

 

1NT (12-14) - ?

 

2♠ - 10 hcp

2NT - 11 hcp

Think it is 11 hcp and 12 hcp, you wouldn't want to be in 3NT with fewer than 25 points.

 

Remember to use (this) system on over a 1NT overcall.

[david_c]

Defence to a weak NT: 2♣ overcall shows a weak NT hand. (Yes, there really are people that play this.)

[kfgauss]

Quite a common system here at the bad clubs is:

 

1NT (12-14) - ?

 

2♠ - 10 hcp

2NT - 11 hcp

Think it is 11 hcp and 12 hcp, you wouldn't want to be in 3NT with fewer than 25 points.

 

Remember to use (this) system on over a 1NT overcall.

As long as this isn't used in a Walter the Walrus sort of way, the thought of having a mild invite and a strong invite really isn't so bad. In fact, with some partners I use 4♠ as a strong invite to 6NT (as well as for hands in search of suit fits to play instead) and 4NT as a mild invite to 6NT.

 

Perhaps the point is that 2♠ has significantly better uses, while 4♠ may not.

 

Andy

[Double !]

I can think of two rubbish conventions:

 

1) "Garbage Stayman", and

2) "TRASH"

 

 

 

pardon the puns :o

 

DHL

[paulg]

I'd have thought canape overcalls ... though how rubbish can this be when Bocchi/Duboin used to play them?

 

Paul

[Blofeld]

Defence to a weak NT: 2♣ overcall shows a weak NT hand. (Yes, there really are people that play this.)

I had to stop myself from cracking up when this was explained to me at the table in a local league match.

[Free]

I've thought about turning everything upside down, since in many situations (like lead directing doubles over opponents' cue in our suit) it's just better. Perhaps you should try to play 5 card minors, longest Major (so with 5m you always open 1m). No reverses (1m-...-2M only 5m-4M since partner didn't support the m / 1M-...-2m just 5M-4m), but you could play inverted Majors on that as well. I wonder if that would work, but system regulations might forbid this... :o

 

"4♣ ALWAYS gerber" that's also a poor convention.

Play regular blacky, not RKC or so

Don't forget Flannery

crappeletti over opponents' NT

Every double is penalty ;)

"intervening (and preemptive openings) 1X shows 5+ card suit, 2-level 6+, 3-level 7+, 4-level 8+,..."

Reversed Fishbein - worst convention ever! :lol:

Lorenzo two's only when Vulnerable (2X = 0-7hcp, 4+ card suit, Majors first style)

 

I also like the idea of playing no conventions at all, like in the good old days

[kfgauss]

. . . you could play inverted Majors on that as well . . .

This has been a serious suggestion. I think a writeup appeared a few years ago in the ACBL bulletin. Seems rubbish to me though.

 

---------

 

In a sectional game yesterday, my opponents had a lovely Gerber accident against us:

 

2N - 3H (transfer)

3S - 4C

4N - 5C

5S - 6S

 

Opener thought 4C..5C was gerber. Not the least likely time to play it, of course, but his partner held Q109xxx x xx A9xx, not that this in any way resembles a 4C bid. I'm not sure what possessed RHO to try 6S, though (or 5C, for that matter), having heard partner either bid a discouraging 4NT and then appear to be 2-2 in their suits, or having heard partner use blackwood (?!) and then sign off.

 

Andy

[Double !]

www.Bridgeguys.com Convention section has a written description of inverted majors for anyone who is interested.

 

 

DHL