Behaviour in the club

[42]

I use this place to get rid of some frustration...

Some weeks ago a good bridgeplayer moved to my hometown after he has been away for many years, working in a very high position in a very big company, now retired. There was a vacancy in a higher league team of my local club and we both were asked to build up a partnership and join the team. We did, decided for a system and worked hard. Since the system is not all, we went 2 times friday afternoon to a local club. It was not the club we are playing for because they play on monday evening until midnight which is too late for me, I am too tired during the week when I must go to work and the like (mimosa :) ). We were friendly to everybody, saying "hello" and "goodbye". It happened that some ladies started to teach my partner that he must use this and that pen and use that and not this base for writing. He remained friendly and did what they told him. Another lady told him that, when putting down the dummy, he must sort the suits like "♠♥♦♣", she allowed the trumps to be on his right. I intervened that he can put down the cards except trumps in the suit order that he likes, but she had still another opinion. Who cares... We won very high.

The following week the ladies were even more grumpy. After my partner opened a 2-suiter and my RHO bid my 6° suit, I doubled (in the same way I always make my bids) and she was down for 1400. A big lamento started: he made her dizzy with his weird opening, she thought he had ♥s and a minor (which he indeed had), and her partner said "let them have their fun, they enjoy and need it". I know that lady and said that this was not the case, we just play normal bridge and I don't feel any malicious joy, how could she say such a thing? A new pair, 2 males this time. Again a bad action by opps. The one player is from Iran, and he started to claim that especially my partner has something against foreign people. My p did nothing!! Next pair, 2 ladies:

1♣ (nat.) pass 2♠ 1NT by me = 2-suiter in the reds. They asked my partner who explained my bid after he thought perhaps 45 seconds before his explanation. Bidding stopped at 2♠ and again: TD! We made them dizzy and they are damaged because they didn't bid game. ;) Score stood and they still abused at the next table (their opps were of course on their side although we never played against the other ladies). At this state I went to the other table and said that I can hear them and that it is highly unfair what they were doing. She said "not YOU, your partner...", but he did nothing!! All this besides the "normal" education how to hold the pen etc. At the end of the tourney, which we again won high, an unknown lady came to me and asked where I normally play and in which group, it was the tone of "go back where you belong". The advantage of "my" club is, that we have playing strength groups and a ranking for attaching the players to the group they belong to (here in this club we played in 1 group). But once per month we have a Mitchell tournament where the groups are mixed, and those ladies (the same as in the friday club) talk like this:" the better players play Mitchell because they want to have the points", or "the better players don't play Mitchell because they are arrogant and don't want to play against weaker. How can we learn from them?". So, what you do is wrong!

Today our team captain called me and told me en passant that one lady from the friday tournament told another lady who never saw my partner before that he stinks! I am really sensitive for smells, that is simply untrue, the dot on the i. What I learned from this again is, that going to the club is not my world. Remain private team matches. Or trips to nearby Denmark (Italy is a bit far :P ): there the tourney atmosphere was always relaxed. No wonder that new bridgeplayers are shocked, when already we are! I thought that those things only happen here but I heard it already, too, from other countries.

Sorry for the long posting (should you have read until the end...)

Caren

[Chamaco]

1) Don't chat with these opps.

2) remain distant if they address the word to you, ask them to call the TD.

3) Invent some jokes about them, and laugh about it with pard

4) remember that "The mother of the idiots is always pregnant"....

[42]

1) and 2) are what I will do (should I ever go again to play there)! 3) :) is what I would like to do (so I just imagine that they sit naked at the table, nobody sees/hears that). I don't want to go down on their level just because I am angry and feel ashamed for them and that I took a new player to such a club. What they understand is a zero ;)

4) Sad but so true....

[Gerben42]

Caren, it is not embarassing for you, but for the ladies in the club. Shows you what they are really like. You can try and do something about it but like all wars this one will only have losers. Better stay away from Friday afternoon games.

 

I found that in Germany this problem is much more common than in the Netherlands. Why? I don't think because the LOLs (both sexes) are much different, but because of lack of bridge player density. In the Netherlands, most clubs play in several groups, hence keeping the tournament players away from those who want to play a game like you described, and there are enough clubs to choose from to avoid such confrontations.

 

In Germany much stress is caused when these two player types have to play in the same group. Only once in the Netherlands I had a very bad experience with the LOLs. After a international junior team tourney in the Netherlands all the juniors were invited to play In the pub crawl the weekend afterwards. Very nice, but the organizers just added us at the end of the movement, which meant that some of the contestants had to face junior pairs one after another. This caused much stress since this is not what they came for, as well as hurting their chances to get a score over 40%, let alone 50%.

 

Most important thing about this: Realize that they do not want to play Bridge. They want to play "something almost but not completely unlike bridge".

[Al_U_Card]

I have always tried to commiserate with these types. Be very agreeable and understanding. Nod sagely and tell them that you, of course, wish that it were otherwise but you are obliged to follow 'THE' rules.

 

These people have no clue and can't understand but they do know about human dignity and will appreciate your effort. Then they will 'gossip' about other things and people because you are 'so nice'.... ;)

[ArcLight]

>Be very agreeable and understanding. Nod sagely and tell them that you, of course, wish that it were otherwise but you are obliged to follow 'THE' rules.

These people have no clue and can't understand but they do know about human dignity and will appreciate your effort. Then they will 'gossip' about other things and people because you are 'so nice'....

 

I agree.

 

 

 

Off Topic

 

I had never heard of this expression before seeing it here.

 

"The mother of idiots is always pregnant."

 

It's pretty funny.

 

 

 

I googled it and found that its Italian proverb

 

"La madre degli idioti è sempre incinta."

[Al_U_Card]

>Be very agreeable and understanding. Nod sagely and tell them that you, of course, wish that it were otherwise but you are obliged to follow 'THE' rules.

These people have no clue and can't understand but they do know about human dignity and will appreciate your effort. Then they will 'gossip' about other things and people because you are 'so nice'....

 

I agree.

 

 

 

Off Topic

 

I had never heard of this expression before seeing it here.

 

"The mother of idiots is always pregnant."

 

It's pretty funny.

 

 

 

I googled it and found that its Italian proverb

 

"La madre degli idioti è sempre incinta."

But, unfortunately, it is the father who gets her that way so he is the biggest idiot of them all.....

[Fluffy]

When I go to a local club with very weak field I am happy if I can make 50%, normally I make much less.

[pigpenz]

gee are you sure it wasnt really online in one of the ACBL games that this happened????

 

I got in trouble the other day cause someone askedme what our nt range was and i said its on the convention card just one click away. :D Thank god when FD finally comes out!

[42]

I have always tried to commiserate with these types.  Be very agreeable and understanding.  Nod sagely and  tell them that you, of course, wish that it were otherwise but you are obliged to follow 'THE' rules.

 

These people have no clue and can't understand but they do know about human dignity and will appreciate your effort.  Then they will 'gossip' about other things and people because you are 'so nice'.... :D

We tried this from the very first minute on but had no chance, it didn't work. The first day some who know me were friendly and asked why I so rarely come to play in one of the clubs (I mumbled something of too less time), that I look good and so on. That changed after we won. Perhaps they think we take something away from them, but I have no idea what. Masochists, I invite you for a game or 2! You will not need one of those reality shows on tv! I offer a place to sleep and I will pay the entry fee!

[Robert]

Hi everyone

 

This behavior happens sometimes.

 

You should mainly ignore their poor behavior.

 

If any comments are made that are untrue, call the TD.

 

Be polite and civil. Any of their bad behavior is not your fault.

 

Some people are just jealous of better players, they cannot accept that another

 

pair does better because of their advanced bridge skills.

 

You might want to check out other clubs, there are no shortage of them in America.

 

Take your money elsewhere and support a club where you are treated better.

 

Regards,

Robert

[Gerardo]

Robert:

Caren is german, living in Germany.

Other than that, agree with you.

[Robert]

Hi Gerardo

 

It was quite evident that a European player was involved or a 'very rich' person

 

that traveled internationally to play in club games.

 

I mentioned 'indirectly' that I was an American and suggested 'what' the situation

 

was here in America.

 

The behavior is universal is my guess, however, the solution is the same 'if' there

 

are a number of clubs to choose from.

 

One of my infrequent partners lives in Maine(U.S.A.) and has to drive two hours to

 

play in a club game in Canada.

 

Best Regards,

Robert

[chicken]

germany?

 

where in germany caren? come to us, BCY fritzlar, i am 43 and one of the oldest there :-)))).

[luis]

Well I know the feeling :-)

In every local club there are some bad players that are just "evil" and say terrible things trying to make you feel bad about your results against them, I think this may be a tactic to get better results.

My method is to use fire to stop fire. They accuse you of being unethical or bad or anything then you can just praise yourself of being exactly that.

 

One quick example:

I made once a tricky 3NT hand after a lot of effort the comment from lady1 was "pd put your cards closer to your chest or he will make every game he plays"

My reply was: "No need, I know these hands, they were played in a previous tournament"

 

Two hands later I sacrificed in 4♠ over a 4♥ game and went down 4 undoubled.

Lady1: "Pd why not double 4♠?"

Lady2: "How can I double? He knows the hands!"

 

Curious tactics Mr Watson.

[Al_U_Card]

One quick example:

I made once a tricky 3NT hand after a lot of effort the comment from lady1 was "pd put your cards closer to your chest or he will make every game he plays"

My reply was: "No need, I know these hands, they were played in a previous tournament"

Curious tactics Mr Watson.

roflmao...another less urbane one is taking off your glasses and saying "without my x-ray glasses it should be more even now....."

[han]

Well I know the feeling :-)

In every local club there are some bad players that are just "evil" and say terrible things trying to make you feel bad about your results against them, I think this may be a tactic to get better results.

My method is to use fire to stop fire. They accuse you of being unethical or bad or anything then you can just praise yourself of being exactly that.

 

One quick example:

I made once a tricky 3NT hand after a lot of effort the comment from lady1 was "pd put your cards closer to your chest or he will make every game he plays"

My reply was: "No need, I know these hands, they were played in a previous tournament"

 

Two hands later I sacrificed in 4♠ over a 4♥ game and went down 4 undoubled.

Lady1: "Pd why not double 4♠?"

Lady2: "How can I double? He knows the hands!"

 

Curious tactics Mr Watson.

LOL, very funny Luis.

 

Humor and a little self-confidence can go a long way.

[42]

:) I feel better... Thx friends! ♥

Caren

[luis]

One quick example:

I made once a tricky 3NT hand after a lot of effort the comment from lady1 was "pd put your cards closer to your chest or he will make every game he plays"

My reply was: "No need, I know these hands, they were played in a previous tournament"

Curious tactics Mr Watson.

roflmao...another less urbane one is taking off your glasses and saying "without my x-ray glasses it should be more even now....."

I did have a story with Sunglasses in a tourney that was played on a tent placed outside a hotel.

One of my opponents (why all this always happens to me?) called the TD as soon as we arrived at their table (without even saying hello) and asked if I was allowed to play with Sunglasses. Please note I'm always a good guy until they say something.

 

The TD told them that it was ok to play with sunglasses, we had players in shorts, players with hats why not sunglasses?.

Inmediately my pd added:

"Those are infrared sunglasses from the army, with the light of the sun he can see through the cards because the cards here are very cheap"

My opponent asked "Can I see them"?

And I replied "Of course not, they are mine go get yours"

There was some discussion they told each other to hold the cards under the table.

In the very next hand to this episode I had to lead against 5♥ they had showed hearts, and diamonds and a lot of power we sacrificed in 4♠ but they went to 5♥, I had Jxxxx, xx, xxx,AJx. A club looked obvious (MPs) but before leading I saw one of them had taken his cards from under the table and was holding them above the table ready to table dummy so I directed a very strong look to his cards like focusing through them.... Then I lead the club ace from AJx and turned out to be the only lead to defeat 5♥, pd yelled "Oh I love those sunglasses"

The opponents went berserk and one of them yelled "they are cheating with something from the army!" Imagine the kind of looks he collected from neighbour tables...

The TD was called again they asked my sunglasses to be examined, I gave the TD the sunglasses and the TD asked my opponents to stop calling him for stupid reasons :-)

[42]

LOLL Luis!!! Great story! (*psssst* where did you buy those glasses?)

In Germayn it is strictly forbidden to wear "mirror"sunglasses --> these glasses where you cannot see the eyes of the owner.

There once was a time when I thought that ALL bridgeplayers are intelligent...

[helene_t]

A few weeks ago my pd and I played against two old ladies at a pairs event. One of the opps kept complaing all the time about the bad behaviour of the youth these days.

 

My partner opened 2♠ and RHP asked what it meant. I said "weak".

 

- "What, is 2♠ be weak? Never heard of something like that. Obviously one of those new tricks played by younger players these day. The youth really behaves awfully these days ...." etc etc

 

After the round I thanked the opps for the pleasant game: "It was quite pleasant, considering the fact that we are such young and rude, wasn't it?"

[Double !]

Luis:

I must say that that was one of the funniest bridge stories that I have heard in decades. Kudos have to go to your partner for having the presence and the timing to jump up and praise those sunglasses the way he (or was it a she?) did. Perfect timing. And your poor opps totally lost any sense of reality. I actually feel badly for them/ wonder what they finally made of their reactions after they were able to get some space from the incident?

 

BTW: there might be a huge market for such sunglasses, especially if they can also see through the backs of traveler slips. Where can one purchase these extraordinary sunglasses?

 

DHL

[Joe de Balliol]

Any other stories Luis? Those two cracked me up!

[guggie]

A very long time ago I played with a male homosexual friend. It was in the seventies, we both had long curly hair.

We played again two friendly LOLs. One lady asked me: "Dearie, are you engaged?". I answered at my most serious sad tone: "I woul have loved it, but he refused". The ladies gave him several furious looks. He never put a right card at the table that tournament anymore;-)

 

We played another tournament and a pair of distracted gentlemen greeted us with: "Hi boys". I gave my p a surprised look and stuck out my bosom. We both giggled and played a nice table.

Next table another pair greeted us: "Hi girls". He shot me a hopeless look: What shall I put forward?"

 

 

Recently, my present p and I played a match against a couple, we were obviously winning and the male half grnyed at his wife all the time, played at lightning speed ticked his card on the table before dummy had played, etc etc. My p is very easy going, but I saw him coming under steam, and at last he asked: "Sir my I ask you a question, do you LIKE to play bridge?"

The man was stunned, his wife gave a nervous giggle.

[olegru]

Last week I was playing in swiss teams with accident partner.

Our opponents bid some ridiculous slam for down 2 and one of them asked another could this result be dublicated on the second table.

"Don't worry," answered my partner. "It will be. Our teammaters are idiots too."

Actualy he was right - there was no swing on that board.