me too - adieu

[jillybean]

Hi,

 

After the last TD incident I reported the problem to BBO as free TD’s are encouraged to do, the pay organization received a slap on the hands.

The response from the organization was to terminate my membership to the private club.

 

Since then I have tried to discuss the problem with the club manager but they will not talk with me, hiding behind BBO directive not to communicate with free td’s. Many other people have also tried to help resolve this issue.

 

Attending lessons is a big part of the enjoyment I get on BBO, I have supported the lessons and this club with time and money. I am now banned from these lessons.

 

I think this is simply a case of bullying and believing they are right because I am both a free TD and a member of their club.

 

I have tried to get on with things but unfortunately I am not “thick skinned”. I am very upset and I can’t stand by and let this unfairness slide.

 

So I’m taking a break, maybe I’ll find life after bridge :unsure:

 

jb

[mikeh]

I am sorry that you have been treated in the manner you described, but I'd like to suggest that quitting bridge is not the answer. There are many ways to learn this game, and I suspect that the quality of the lessons you are getting from people who act as you described is probably questionable anyway. (I am not familar with the people you are concerned with, I am merely extrapolating from my view of their personalities as discribed by you, and maybe they are excellent teachers).

 

These forums, to me at least, offer considerable food for thought. Watching the various vu-graphs and other 'events' can be very informative and fun. I do not know your age, but clubs such as Junior BBO have weekly events followed by a teachng session, which is open to all (as far as I know.. you ask permission and there is no cost involved). Even if you do not play the hands, we get some very good discussion after the game, from real experts such as Henri (Ritong) and Richie (Reisig) and Wyne (Cascade) and others.

 

Don't let the bad guys take away the game you obviously enjoy: let them stew in their own self-imposed kingdoms while you find more enjoyable and compatible arenas.

[luke warm]

jilly, did they give a reason for terminating you? that really sucks.. they obviously did something wrong originally (it resulted in at least a slap on the hands), but it seems they're focused on retribution rather than improvement

 

i agree with mike, stick around.. when you're around it's like a breath of fresh air

[cherdano]

Kathryn, you can't leave us! Ok, you can for a while, but I hope you come back!

 

I have never been in that club, but I can't imagine they offer better teaching than a nice table with some BBF regulars B)

 

Still hoping to see you around

Arend

[Guest Jlall]

That's awful. I hope you do not quit for good, and maybe you will reconsider in a few days. Just remember the game of bridge is still great and there are still many great people involved. This is a very very unfortunate incident, but it is the exception not the rule. I hope you decide to stick around, you're an asset to BBO.

[42]

Hi Kathryn!

I am very sorry what happened to you! Please: don't give up!!!! I have been several times at such a point, too, depending on frustration (sometimes I stood in my own way) or bad behaviour and rudeness. Leaving and giving up is not the right way, we meet always and everywhere stupidity and ignorance, BUT we meet also always friends, they just change with personal progress. Don't give the idiots room and power, you will get new perspectives for sure! Perhaps those people don't like what you do, but others do!

Caren

[Chamaco]

Hey JB,

remember that, as an italian motto says, "The mother of the idiots is always pregnant".

 

Sometimes we've got to thicken our skin to do the things we enjoy, and however, running away from such people won't help, we'll always find others of the same time somewhere else, and we cannot just quit doing anything just to avoid them.

 

So all the better go on doing the activities we love, possibly ignoring obnoxious behaviours.

[bearmum]

Hi,

 

After the last TD incident I reported the problem to BBO as free TD’s are encouraged to do, the pay organization received a slap on the hands.

The response from the organization was to terminate my membership to the private club.

 

Since then I have tried to discuss the problem with the club manager but they will not talk with me, hiding behind BBO directive not to communicate with free td’s.  Many other people have also tried to help resolve this issue.

 

Attending lessons is a big part of the enjoyment I get on BBO, I have supported the lessons and this club with time and money. I am now banned from these lessons.

 

I think this is simply a case of bullying and believing they are right because I am both a free TD and a member of their club.

 

I have tried to get on with things but unfortunately I am not “thick skinned”. I am very upset and I can’t stand by and let this unfairness slide.

 

So I’m taking a break, maybe I’ll find life after bridge  :)

 

jb

HI Jilly -- I am SO sorry that you are having problems with a"private" BBO club -- BUT to be honest it really doesn't surprise me at all - :P

 

Have you reported (to abuse @ ) the fact that your membership of the club in question has been terminated?

 

Have you asked for your money back from the club?

 

And question to BBO management IF jilly is correct in saying that private clubs have the right NOT to communicate with "free" tourney directors -- WHY is that so??

[dogsbreath]

hi

 

my sympathies .. please have a nice rest and come back.

 

also pls msg me the name of the club so I can resign if i am a member ..dont want to be associated

 

Rgds Dogsbreath

[luke warm]

it sounds as if this club did something wrong... kat emailed abuse about it, abuse took some action, the club complied and then terminated kat's membership out of spite or retribution

 

that shouldn't be allowed, but the troubling part is that the operators of the club should know it's wrong... they shouldn't have to be told.. so you have to assume they do know, and don't give a damn

[Walddk]

If this is how the management of that partcular private club treats certain members, then it seems best that you are no longer there. If it's the club I think it is, I can tell you that I was thrown out years ago. It hasn't given me any sleepless nights.

 

Jilly, I am sure you can get your lessons elsewhere.

 

Roland

[hrothgar]

If this is how the management of that partcular private club treats certain members, then it seems best that you are no longer there. If it's the club I think it is, I can tell you that I was thrown out years ago. It hasn't given me any sleepless nights.

 

Jilly, I am sure you can get your lessons elsewhere.

 

Roland

I very much agree with this sentiment...

 

You're better off not belonging to the club in question:

If you want to improve your game, I suspect that any number of players here on the forums would be willing to set up games with you and pass some pointers...

[uday]

IF jilly is correct in saying that

 

She did not say that.

 

Our rules in this area are pretty simple. One of them is: Pay clubs (ACBL, Sky, etc.) may not squawk at a free TD for scheduling a tourney that clashes with a pay T.

 

There are no restrictions on private clubs/tourneys, IIRC, except the obvious ones (no spamming members, etc).

 

A manager is free to run an organization as he or she sees fit. This freedom includes the right to revoke a player's membership for any reason, good or bad.

[rona_]

I have tried to get on with things but unfortunately I am not “thick skinned”. I am very upset and I can’t stand by and let this unfairness slide.

 

BBO doesn't get involved in private clubs and we can't fault them for that. They believe that market forces will sort out the clubs that have unhappy members. It isn't happening in the club that you are referring to because, either the majority of the members are happy, or too afraid to speak up, as they know they will have their memberships terminated. If the manager is a bully, and knows that most of his/her members are there for the free services offered by the club, then he/she has a one up on everyone right? Maybe running clubs on the internet gives people a buzz! Don't you feel sorry for them? I do.

 

I wouldn't give up bridge or bbo for getting kicked out of that club or any other club. You should come back too and ignore the whole sorry mess. In my view, people like this club manager, work hard to offer an invaluable service to BBO but at the same time, use that to their advantage. Just don't let anyone who thinks he/she is "important" bully you, when you know you are right. :)

[Free]

I have only 1 piece of advice JB: just ignore the club, you're the bigger person here. If you leave, you let them win and they'll keep doing this to other people (because it would work), which is unacceptable. Plz stay, play some with me and other friends, but don't leave because of one ridiculous action of a private club! :)

[cherdano]

I'll say it once more (hope Mauro doesn't sue me for copyright infringement, he said it first):

[Chamaco]

I'll say it once more (hope Mauro doesn't sue me for copyright infringement, he said it first):

Hehe... We already got also Justin's vote ;)

[Echognome]

All hail JB. Don't let some lame club get you down. You've got the backing of the BBF clan. We're behind you JB. Just let us know who to beat up. (Ok, perhaps we can just be insulting to them instead.)

[Winstonm]

Don't let some silly arbitray ruling set you off. Myself, I prefer getting together in the open room with a good group of people that I know can play well and be pleasant - sort of like my own private club. Might be an idea that works for you, too.

 

Winston

[barmar]

BBO doesn't get involved in private clubs and we can't fault them for that. They believe that market forces will sort out the clubs that have unhappy members. It isn't happening in the club that you are referring to because, either the majority of the members are happy, or too afraid to speak up, as they know they will have their memberships terminated.

Or maybe they don't know that the club manager is so heavy-handed. Since Jilly is too much of a class act to name names, we still don't know which club to boycott.

[Al_U_Card]

BBO doesn't get involved in private clubs and we can't fault them for that. They believe that market forces will sort out the clubs that have unhappy members. It isn't happening in the club that you are referring to because, either the majority of the members are happy, or too afraid to speak up, as they know they will have their memberships terminated.

Or maybe they don't know that the club manager is so heavy-handed. Since Jilly is too much of a class act to name names, we still don't know which club to boycott.

Or a large majority of their customers are not running their own tournaments...... ;) . Jb, vote with your feet, but please don't feel or think with them. The few times we spoke, you had an air of gentleness that can only enrich the our environment. :) I am sure that we all support your decision but would feel the loss in more than just a general way. :(

[luke warm]

IF jilly is correct in saying that

 

She did not say that.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she said, "Since then I have tried to discuss the problem with the club manager but they will not talk with me, hiding behind BBO directive not to communicate with free td’s."

 

A manager is free to run an organization as he or she sees fit.  This freedom  includes the right to revoke a player's membership for any reason, good or bad.

i wasn't aware of that... so if a club manager abuses a bboer, is reported to abuse for that, the manager is then allowed to simply kick out the person who (rightly) turned them in?

 

hmmm...

[uday]

Yes, although I'd expect that a club that behaved like that would have trouble attracting and keeping users. Or maybe not.

 

Similarly, a TD is free to --- for any reason ---- exclude anyone from his tourneys. Will it be the person who argued with him in the last tourney? Sure. Why not? His T, his rules.

 

The alternatives to this freedom for the TD/Club manager are ridiculous..

 

Should we "force" a club manager to provide service to someone when the club manager does not want to provide it? What about forcing TDs to provide service to all, without allowing "enemies" to be excluded ? How exactly would we enforce this ? Any such attempts by us would surely result in many clubs and Ts shutting down.

[luke warm]

Yes, although I'd expect that a club that behaved like that would have trouble attracting and keeping users. Or maybe not.

 

Similarly, a TD is free to --- for any reason ---- exclude anyone from his tourneys. Will it be the person who argued with him in the last tourney? Sure. Why not? His T, his rules.

 

The alternatives to this freedom for the TD/Club manager are ridiculous..

 

Should we "force" a club manager to provide service to someone when the club manager does not want to provide it? What about forcing TDs to provide service to all, without allowing "enemies" to be excluded ? How exactly would we enforce this ? Any such attempts by us would surely result in many clubs and Ts shutting down.

i agree with most of that, but i can't help thinking that what happened to jilly kat was a different kettle of fish entirely

 

i don't know what happened, but i do lend a lot of weight to kat's version, simply cause i know her and think she's being honest... so it just seems to me that there's a difference between some of the things you describe and in a td or club manager booting someone for simply doing what bbo asks her to do, that is emailing abuse when abused

[Fluffy]

IF jilly is correct in saying that

 

She did not say that.

 

Our rules in this area are pretty simple. One of them is: Pay clubs (ACBL, Sky, etc.) may not squawk at a free TD for scheduling a tourney that clashes with a pay T.

 

There are no restrictions on private clubs/tourneys, IIRC, except the obvious ones (no spamming members, etc).

 

A manager is free to run an organization as he or she sees fit. This freedom includes the right to revoke a player's membership for any reason, good or bad.

It looks like kathrin could answer scheduling all her toruneys on the time the club tries payment ones, they would get what they deserve, sadly that's not her style :/