Winstonm Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 You partenr.....she likes photograhphy.....I bet she does. I bet she does. Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink. Monty Python Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Louie, this looks like the start of a beautiful parnership. Humphrey Bogart(Casablanca) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeh Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, consider that you may be wrong" Oliver Cromwell to Charles I, in the post-mortem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 It was the best of slams; it was the worst of slams.It was a slam of reason; it was a slam of foolishness. Charles Dickens(Viewgraph comments on Garozzo/Belladonna bidding to 7C against Eisenberg/Kantar.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycroft Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Sorry about the length, I couldn't resist. It's amazing how little I had to change. What's really worrisome is how accurate some of it is - without the changes. WBFLC Systems Working Group M. Farebrother, Editor Request for Comments: 1925 BBO Category: Informational 1 April 2005 The Twelve Bidding System Truths Status of this Memo This memo provides information for the Bridge community. This memo does not specify an Bridge standard of any kind. Distribution of this memo is unlimited. Abstract This memo documents the fundamental truths of bidding systems for the Bridge community. This memo does not specify a standard, except in the sense that all standards must implicitly follow the fundamental truths. Acknowledgements The truths described in this memo result from extensive study over an extended period of time by many people, some of whom did not intend to contribute to this work. The editor merely has collected these truths, and would like to thank the systems design community for originally illuminating these truths. 1. Introduction This Request for Comments (RFC) provides information about the fundamental truths underlying all bidding. These truths apply to bidding in general, and are not limited to SAYC, the Strong Club, or any other subset of the bridge community. 2. The Fundamental Truths (1) It Has To Work. (2) No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority, you can't increase the speed of thought. (2a) (corollary). No matter how hard you try, there are only 36 bidding steps. Trying to use more *might* make for slower bidding, but it won't make it happen any quicker. (3) With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead. (4) Some things in life can never be fully appreciated nor understood unless experienced firsthand. Some things in bidding can never be fully understood by someone who neither builds serious bidding systems nor has an operational high-level partnership. (5) It is always possible to aglutenate multiple separate conventions into a single complex interdependent system. In most cases this is a bad idea. (6) It is easier to move a problem around (for example, by moving the problem to a different part of the overall system architecture) than it is to solve it. (6a) (corollary). It is always possible to add another level of transfers. (7) It is always something. (7a) (corollary). Good, Fast, Simple: Pick any two (you can't have all three). (8) It is more complicated than you think. (9) For all resources, whatever it is, you need more. (9a) (corollary) Every system failure always takes longer to solve than it seems like it should. (10) One size never fits all. (11) Every old idea will be proposed again with a different name and a different presentation, regardless of whether it works. (11a) (corollary). See rule 6a. (12) In system design, perfection has been reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Security Considerations This RFC raises no unauthorized information. However, convention regulations are subject to the fundamental bidding truths. References The references have been deleted in order to protect the guilty and avoid enriching the lawyers. Apologies to: Ross Callon Internet Order of Old Farts c/o Bay Networks 3 Federal Street Billerica, MA 01821 Author's Address Michael Farebrother Boilerplate Bidding Organization One Club Plaza 16 Precision Way, Las Vegas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Ahhhhh-eyahhhh-eyahhhhhh-eyahhhhhhh..... Tarzan to Jane, upon seeing her hand as dummy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack_hh Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 The Heisenberg uncertainty principle, sometimes called the Heisenberg indeterminacy principle (a title prefered by Niels Bohr), expresses a limitation on accuracy of (nearly) simultaneous measurement of observables such as the shape and the strength of a hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack_hh Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Once in a local club: Player1: You should have taken opps' second diamond trick!Player2: I couldn't.Player1: We could have set that 3 NT if you'd only took that trick!Player2: I couldn't.Player1: Why didn't you overtake declarer's second diamond card?Player2: I couldn't - it was the ace of diamonds.Player1: ... Player1: ... then you should have used the cardinal of diamonds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 Is this the right room for an argument? Monty Python Told you once.....No, you didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 Last night someone broke in and stole all the computer dealt hands and replaced them with exact replicas. Sephen Wright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 As God it is my witness, I'll never go set again! Scarlett O'Hara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 Sucker: "Is this a game of chance?" Fields: "Not the way I play it, no...." W.C. Fields Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1eyedjack Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 One of my favourate non-bridge quotes that might be applied to bridge is from Enter The Dragon, 1973, when Bruce Lee quoth"Don' theeenk. Feeeel!" There are several quotes from Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" that not surprisingly translate almost literally to the Bridge sphere. Here is a selection: The Art is a flexible System Much computation brings triumph.Little computation brings defeat.How much more so with no computation at all! Those who have made no errorshave arranged for certain triumph:A triumph over those who are already defeated. Directing is like a tautly drawn crossbow Analysis gives rise to balancing.Balance gives rise to triumph ...Such is Positioning. Those skilled in conflictWho Direct through others,Seem to travel like a rounded boulderDown a thousand-meter mountain.Such is Directing. When either we or others must seize the advantage,The Situation is Competitive. If we know the opponent is able to confrontAnd know our team is able to confront,But do not know Situational Positioning,We are unable to challengeBecause we are but halfway to triumph. (OK that last one would have been better if for "Situational Positioning" you read "Positional Situations") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chamaco Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 "You talking to me ?!?!?" Robert De Niro (Taxi Driver), being asked the meaning of his partner's bid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double ! Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 "How many wins must one man(woman) have before we call him(her) an expert?The answer, my friend, is Blowin' in the Wind. The answer is Blowin' in the Wind" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1eyedjack Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 "FOCUS, Daniel-san!" -Mr Miyagi, on tabling dummy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winstonm Posted October 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 "You'll regret it. Oh, maybe not today....but soon, and for the rest of your life." Humphrey Bogart on learning and playing Relay Precision Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
han Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 The following are all Einstein's: Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Bridge is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it. Do not worry about your difficulties in Bridge. I can assure you mine are still greater. No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of HCP's and losers so important a phenomenon as hand evaluation. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no director is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
han Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 Some recent quotes from George W Bush: I think that steroids ought to be banned from bridge. We do know that he has no sense of civility about who he squeezes. (first one originally about baseball, second originally about Osama Bin Laden) And we are fighting our opponents, and we will continue to fight our opponents, and we will not stop until we defeat our opponents. Will stop here because I don't want to offend anyone. (Well, perhaps I do, but this is a bridge forum.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSilver Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 I sorted, I counted, I bid slam--Caesar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSilver Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 The most beautiful bridge in the world…. so pure, so resolute, so regular that here, finally, bidding architecture seems to laugh.--Le Corbusier, kibitzing Meckstroth-Rodwell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSilver Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 Is an intelligent bidder likely to be much more than a large-scale manufacturer of misunderstanding?--Phillip Roth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSilver Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 Psyching is the last resort of the incompetent.--Isaac Asimov Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling downLondon Bridge is falling down, my fair lady-- maybe mother goose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_U_Card Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 I made him an invitation, he couldn't refuse....the GF (at least initially....lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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