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Bridge Quotes


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"We all agree that your bid is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"

- Niels Bohr

 

"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."

- Albert Einstein on bidding systems

 

"How can I lose to such an idiot?"

- Aaron Nimzovich, and also myself

 

"I think there is a world market for maybe five bidding systems."

- Thomas Watson and equally the ACBL board of directors

 

"He would make a lovely corpse."

Charles Dickens on his bridge partner

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Bernard: It's one of those irregular verbs isn't it?

We make tactical bids;

You psyche;

They have an undisclosed partnership agreement.

That's magical.

 

I like Gerben's quote from Bohr, as well.

 

Hofstadter's law [on psychic bids]: "Partner always takes you more seriously than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's law."

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"If you have the slightest touch of masochism, you'll love this game." - dunno source

 

"The trouble with women is that they treat bridge as a game. They do not realize it is a war." - Kantar

 

After dummy is tabled, George Mittelman tabled his hand as declarer and told the opponents: "Take what you want, I refuse to play this mess."

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"When an honour is moved from one player to his partner, the loss in won tricks for one side equals the value of that honour move (measured in number of winnable tricks) for the other side".

- Archimedes, on the law of total tricks

 

"Every new conventional disruptive methods is countered by an equally effective defense against that method"

- Isaac Newton

 

"Don't disrupt my relay sequence"

- Pythagoras

 

"Some guys would do anything for an overtrick"

- Olivia Newton-John, on matchpoint players

 

"If declarer ruffs the suit you lead, play another suit next time"

- Jesus Christ

 

"The play is the continuation of the bidding, with other means"

- Klausewitz

 

"No, I don't believe we can make it. But I've heard that it works even if you don't believe it"

- Niels Bohr, after he raised his partner's weak two to game

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"The possession of high cards allows declarer to make extra profit from his low cards. Thus ensuring his contract, he can get the even higher game bonus for the next contract. But he also becomes vulnerable, and the poor pair, having little to loose, get an extra motivation to double his future contracts. Eventually, declarer's privileged position will lead to his collapse"

- Karl Marx

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"Slams are better than games, if only for points scored"

-Woody Allen

 

"I spent a year playing bridge with him one Sunday"

-George Burns

 

What does it mean to play a pre-deal hand? You get to play a hand before it is dealt?

-George Carlin

 

Start every hand off with a smile and get it over with.

-W. C. Fields

 

I refuse to join any table that would have me as a player.

-Groucho Marx

 

 

Two things are infinite: the universe and my partners stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

-Albert Einstein

 

You're only has good as your last hand

Fran Lebowitz

 

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimistic bridge player.

Mark Twain

 

It is the mark of an expert mind to be able to entertain a splinter bid without making it.

Aristotle

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