kokup

once in a while, a robot gets the bit between its teeth and runs off the rails and into the soup 5H was intended as a preference but the robot presumably read it as a cuebid its fault or mine? btw, isn't there some way to simply point to a hand stored on BBO?

please oh please oh please change the alert sounds. the trick sound is so horrible i want to turn off Sounds but even when they are on and one is playing an Express tournament in which half the players are runaways or asleep and then this barely audible little "bong" - so awfully discreet - fails to be heard over general background noise and i miss my turn and my completion % takes another dive. please please make it shrill like an old-fashioned phone bell wakeup call and get rid of that awful rasping trick sound. please!

"A "cheapest-level" no-trump bid Balanced with a stopper in the opponents' suit(s) and 8-11 points. - See more at: http://www.bridgebum.com/takeout_double.php#sthash.ovWvxftj.dpuf"

i am GMT+10 timezone; some evenings, times by arrangement.

actually, the robots' bidding isn't erratic at all; it's just that you are unfamiliaar with their gadgets. give yourself a 2/1 cc and then you will be able to see what their bids mean at the time as it will be displayed for you when you play with them.

i have a complaint. this whole mindset about "assigning blame/fault/etc" is wrong. it's unhealthy. "sry, p" should be illegal on BBO and tables everywhere. - and what's more, people who expect/demand it should be run through with a sword... no, wait a minute, now i'm contradicting myself... sure, there is a lot of utility in trying to find out how best to squeeze more information into a signal than it has capacity to take, but if you muck it up, no-one has the Right to find you "at fault". if you too have a complaint, including a complaint about my complaint, click here

you mean his dummy is exposed? Gee...

none of you seem very convinvced by my thesis. so here is an addendum (with apologies to Country Joe and the Fish): Gimme an F… Gimme a I… (as i recall, it wasn't an I, it was a U) Gimme a S… (as i recall, it wasn't a S, it was a C) Gimme a H… (i dont remember what the last letter was) What’s that spell? What’s that spell? What’s that spell? What’s that spell? What’s that spell? yeah, c’mon on all you big strong men BBO needs your help again he’s got himself in a terrible jam way down yonder in IMPyLand so put down your books and pick up a card we’re gonna have a whole lot of fun and it’s 1, 2, 3, what’re we bidding for? don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn next stop is DoubleLand and it’s 5, 6, 7, open up the pearly gates well there ain’t no time to wonder why whoopee! we’re all gonna "bye" well c’mon generals, let’s move fast your big chance has come at last gotta go out and get those clowns the only good Opp is one who’s down and you know that peace can only be won when we’ve blown ‘em all to kingdom come chorus well c’mon on rich Bill don’t be slow why this is war a-go-go there’s plenty good money to be made by supplyin’ the fools with the tools of the trade just hope and pray that if they drop a bomb we drop it on-the <insert name of your favourite enemy here> chorus well c’mon mothers throughout this land pack your boys off to BBO gang c’mon pops, don’t hesitate send ‘em off before it’s too late be the first one on your block to hear the boy sound off [1] on the box [2] 1. "sounding off" = an English expression meaning "rant" 2. "box" = television = tube = YouTube [3] 3. <- click this (no, you idiot, not "this"! ...that! ..whadd'ya mean, "what that?"?! ....What's it all about, Alfie??)

PS you don't remember where i left my wallet / glasses / car keys do you?

Jack, you may have only one eye, but it is sharper than both of mine. great, i can do everything i was asking for. thanks again to both of you - wait, all 3 of you! - for taking the trouble to help; i will try hard to learn something from my previous errors so you won't have been wasting your times. thanks again :)

Bridge is WAR! the popular image is that Bridge players are sweet little old ladies sitting around a tea table - by and large, this impression is correct,.... , but little old ladies can be vicious too! just look at this picture, taken from a real game during an online Bridge tournament. the tournament director, called pebcat, has just announced he has removed a player for bad behaviour - probably saying nasty things in semi-public about his partner. For this, he would have been awarded the badge of "public enemy". people can hide their names on internet, but not their characters. Anyhow, a few minutes later, pebcat announces that he has removed 11 asbo-ers [2], who had already manifested their bad temper in just the first round of the tourney. That's 11 out of 143, a sizeable percentage. Does this mean that people who play Bridge are unusually aggressive and rude, or are they representative of the human population as a whole? In the 19th century, the Prussian army was the first in the world to use toy models for playing out likely battle scenarios before engagement. the knowledge they thereby gained helped them become Europe's strongest army. their successes turn influenced the later 3rd Reich to think they could win against superior odds. and when computers came along, the first thing they did with them was to play war games with imaginary cannon, to see where they needed to point those metaphorical penises to rain hell over their adversaries. i think it was von Neumann and Morgenstern who characterised the theory of games. i believe they didn't mention Wittegenstein's observation that all life is a game. some you win and some you lose. it's easy to see games like Chess are War games, what with their bishops and castles, etc. But how about Snakes and Ladders? or Trivial Pursuit? or Bridge? Bridge is a little different from Chess in that it involves dialogue and cooperation with a partner, but otherwise its an abstract "grab all you can" thing. What's this ubiquitous fascination with pursuit and competition anyway? For sure, it's a Human Universal; as observed by Stephen PInker in his book "The Blank Slate". And not just humans: Geerat Vermeij, a blind scientist, has made a lifetime study of shells and concluded that the driving force behind evolution is "eat and avoid being eaten" [2]. Basically, shells have evolved differently- shaped castles to defend themselves against the different marauding bishops and knights that beset them. Vermeij's conclusion explains Pinker's observation, which in turn explains why so-called sapient organisms like Homo Sapiens spend more of their time squabbling than they do building. and even when they do build, they so often only build monuments to their egos. Noam Chomsky is correct in his complaints about the deceitful and hurtful practices of successive USA administrations, but he doesn't seem to realise that such selfish behaviour is only normal, and hence inevitable. George Bush went to war, not simply to prove to himself that he was better than his Dad had made him think he was, but to make himself attractive to women. "What??!!" i hear you cry .. "you must be off your head! it's nothing to do with that... you're just joking, right?" no, i am not joking. why do you think all the nice girls love a sailor? it's because they look so smart in their nice naval uniforms. so smart, so powerful, so superior. British naval armies were, until the invention of the airplane, always regarded as the Senior Service, because they could beat the sht out of natives just by standing offshore in their gunboats, without getting the nice creases in their trousers all muddy. to perpetuate one's genes, one has to reproduce. for your genes to persist, they must be mixed with another's that comes from a provenly successful line. what is this success? and how is it indicated? its actually quite simple. evolutionary success is not dying out. not dying out in a world where everyone else is scrabbling for more than their share of the pie. for all they can get. for the largest harem, the tallest skyscraper, the biggest muscles, the largest bank balance, a bigger car than their next-door neighbour. this is why Australia's national obsession is to beat the Poms at cricket. so little Georgie's subconscious mind provoked him into his pre-emptive attack on someone who was no threat to him at all, just because he just couldn't help himself -- well, not entirely,.. he also consciously realised that his bank balance would increase substantially from all the backhanders that Bandar Bush and others would give him, as they were the ones who would benefit most from Saddam getting what was coming to him. Little old ladies dont have the muscles to out-Schwatzenegger their opponents, not do they have phials of anthrax in the warheads of missiles, but they can redouble the bejesus out of their opponents at the virtual battlefield and walk home with their heads held high, exclaiming, like Man U fans, "We are the greatest!". It always makes me laugh, that. What's this "we" business? - the fans weren't even playing! ah, but they were. for they, like everone else, like you and like me, live, not in the real world, but in the dreamworld of their imaginations, so that when their team scores, the fans receive all that reflected glory from the kudos of their superheroes just as if they kicked the ball themselves. That's why they are willing to spend half a week's wages for 90 minutes of sheer self-indulgence, sitting on a plastic chair watching a bunch of grown men playing a kid's game. So, the more you win, the more evidently successful are your genes. And thus the sexier you are. This is the answer to that perennial question: "What's it all about, Alfie?". And that's why people play Bridge. 1. asbo = AntiSocial Behavior Order - a judicial condition imposed by the UK legal system on hoodies [3] and other non-PLUs [4] 2. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html...&pagewanted=all 3. disadvantaged youths who turn to petty crime and wear cagoules with the hoods turned up to screen their pimply faces from security cameras. 4. PLU = People Like Us - the UK equivalent of the American WASP, or something like that.

hi jack and jill (is that a coincidence?), i got as far as MOVIE. but the "Open" tab was dulled. it did, however offer to Save the blank board it was showing :) i have a feeling the yellow person was correct, it's a TD feature/issue. your wish to assist is nonetheless much appreciated. may peace be with you always http://br.youtube.com/watch?v=D-3Bhd7-j_Q

right, just like finding my old games online, and then i can watch a replay with vugraph, but... call me stupid, but... i still can't see any way to play the hand a different way (and my mind is not big enough to remember more than 7 things at a time). ....wait! i've got it !! i look at the deal on my aged pc, take out a deck of paper playing cards, distribute them around a wooden surface covered with green baize, and then.... and then... thanks so much for your advice ;)

thanks for the suggestion; i tried it, but was only allowed to choose hands from 1 vugraph tournament or 3 teaching scenarios. i couldn't figure out how to choose hands from BBO's vugraph records of my previous games. as you may guess from my name, i make lots of mistakes, but that doesn't mean i don't want to learn from them. one of the yellow people told me it was a TD issue. i hadn't realised TDs had issues, i thought they were perfect beings. ---------------------------------------------------- Faith is a substitute for Reason