pokerbids

Big Deal - A memoir from the wonderful world of bridge by Augie Boehm or could be The Bridge Ladies - A Memoir by Betsy Lerner. Not sure if any of the above is the one you are referring to but good luck

[hv=pc=n&s=skqj762h52dq6c632&w=sa3hkqt9dj983ca95&n=st954haj84dtcqt74&e=s8h763dak7542ckj8&d=w&v=0&b=8&a=1dp1sp1nd3nppp]399|300[/hv] Ok I know that free tourneys are for fun and I play them for fun as well. Here I was sitting East and its the last hand of the tourney so I said lets try for a top! (or go sown in flames!!) when my partner dealt and opened 1♦. Looked at my hand I said to myself what will happen if I respond 1 ♠. After all possibility of game in diamonds seems there and slam seems a bit distant unless my partner has an explosive hand but in matchpoints I am ocassionally trying for that blasted NT contract and ok I wondered if I could steal it by this ♠ bid. Things went according to my half baked plan when partner responded 1 NT ...North for some reason Xed and fearing opps may find a suit somewhere I just bid 3 NT. ♣ was led ....my hand came down as dummy and I could virtually hear the sharp intake of breath as my hand came down. Partner happily played the hand making 12 tricks as the opps discarded hearts on the diamonds and I was as pleased as punch....Then I started receiving some awkward messages from TD as to why I hadnt alerted and I said there is no partnership understanding at all at this bid so i really cant alert it and being queried further as to why I had bid it then I honestly said I bid it because I didnt want the opps to lead ♠...Suddenly without warning I found myself penalised 3 tricks from 3 NT + 3 to 3 NT= and I was sort of miffed. I am not defending my bid and it isnt the best bid in the world. It came with a risk of a fall from grace in case things went awfully wrong but somehow in this case it worked out or I thought it did till the board got adjusted with THREE tricks being deducted. It was enough to get me irked enough to vent in this forum. It was just a normal tourney and what was so evil about my bid anyway! In any case it gave me an excuse to use the hand diagram and actually get out of my laziness and post something in here...

hey there saw your post on the netbook and i wanted to tell u that I also have been using a netbook for more than 2 years now and I swear by it...mine is also an acer ...i think full name is acer aspire one and it i have had only great fun with it. I mean i notice u saying u use it for bridge and bridge baron but to be honest i use mine for everything!!! Its a funny story how i came to have one cause i saw one in a shop 2 years ago and said hey it looks cute and maybe my wife will cook me a delcious meal if i get her one of these "girly" computers!!! So i picked it up for her and while fooling around and setting it up i said let me see if BBO works It seemed to work rather well and the more i fooled around with it I said hey this "girly thingy" works better than my "macho" laptop and I started using it more and more till she got bugged and claimed ownership saying this is the strangest gift that she has recieved that she isnt allowed to use!!!! So i picked up one for myself and now do everything on it. Once in early days i forget to switch the power socket switch on and 8 HOURS later i got a message that battery running low....I couldnt believe it that the battery lasted 8 hours...I mean i had a macho laptop and on that the battery went low after a couple of hours and this thing just kept going on and on and on.....it has a great webcam built in and works great for skype and all. Over time i put in all the software i needed and as i said now this netbook is used for everything and everytime a friend of mine sees it they want one for themselves too!!!!!! In those days there was no Ipad and stuff like that and i guess nowdays with Ipads and all this may become outdated but as for me I am just speeding along with it having fun

Here is a truly extraneous matter but at the cost of incurring the posters “wrath” let me add my tuppence worth. Situation (The early days of pokers marriage) Pokers spouse- (with a loving caring smile at 8 am) Darling what time will you be back Poker- 6 pm Later - Same day 6-04 PM – Spouse takes a napkin and wipes the smile off her face as poker makes an appearance staggering a bit cause he stopped for “one for the road” on the way back home. Spouse - Where were you? she asks poker Poker - (In the early days of marriage “white lies” sort of seem ok). Daarling the traffic was diverted and we had to crawl on side roads – Hic Hic says poker inadvertently and the cat was out of the bag Later same day poker’s wife writes a letter to her Mother in Law -Your son is despicable and has been brought up badly and tells lies all day long! -Mother In law letter back – It’s a gender thing Live with it -Wife - I will not live with a badly brought up boy who drinks beer – Its your fault and the marriage is under threat because of you! Mother In law back to spouse – But sweetie I wasn’t even there anyway what did he do Pokers Spouse – He lied and drank beer Mother In Law – But I only used to give him milk as a baby. You have corrupted him – Its your fault totally introducing him to beer – Bad Girl. You have forced him to lie Spouse – I have not forced him to lie he is a born liar. He said something and did something else Mother in law – If that is your major problem in your marriage consider yourself Lucky. Spouse – He is lucky having a sweet girl like me as his spouse. Mother in Law Make sure your sweetness doesn’t give him diabetes. Poker sorts out this war of words and cuddling upto his spouse says “But darling you know I love you” Pokers spouse - Men!!! Ok all is forgiven this once. Sniwas its an extraaneous matter but there are parallels. It depends upon how flexible and fun loving you are. Uhhh take my advice and bend the principles a bit occasionally. 4 minutes and one tourney seems a big thing now. One beer and 4 mins seemed a big thing then. Many years later now we look back and laugh and the battle today is – How dare you put me in a hopeless slam with 2 aces missing. But darling I added an extra ace for your playing skill. Ok she says grumpily but I am going to write and tell your mother! You need 33 points she wags her fingers. Others need that I say I have a secret weapon for I have a brilliant spouse – Darrrrrling you are so cool she says…I love the way you bend your principle and cuddle up begging forgiveness…Poker - I am a man of principles and I don’t bend them I am just telling the truth babbles poker (in his mind saying that stupid dame took the finesse the wrong way and cant apply a simple squeeze). Pokers spouse (who has ESP) - And don’t give me a lesson on squeeze techniques cause I will squeeze your scrawny neck. Poker who never bends his principles does so this once (for the millionth time) cause he looks at the “overall picture” Sometimes it helps. Extraneous matter for sure but LIVE WITH IT. Yes Poker and his spouse too sometimes miss the main point cause they are so focused on the principles and each say to each other…On and on we go- I say if I were your wife I wouldn’t get headaches and she says If I were your husband I wouldn’t be such a constant headache…you say sorry …no its proper you say..No way you have no principles I am just trying to take steps and educate on how to improve and behave proper. No say poker I am doing precisely that. You are missing the point…you are missing the target. Behave properly…you behave properly or I will put arsenic in your food…You wouldn’t do that … Try me I would!!!! Sometimes its good to miss the main point and look at the whole point Works in the marriage, works in the bridge partnership, works as a TD, works as a player. Capiche

and the robots what did they think?

This is going to get me into trouble for sure Officer - Why was your car bucking up and down like a horse at a texas rodeo and does it have a saftey inspection sticker? Passenger - Uhh yes it has a safety inspection sticker but my wife was at the wheel and officer you know the story of women drivers...they have no need for stickers they need the driving instruction manual stuck on the steering!!!! Officer - Run to your bridge game now and be careful when a safety play is involved cause you better make her dummy for that hand!!!!

The title of the thread is Rules against rude manners and I think the original poster AAr has perhaps well proved his point...well at least to me. If one reads the entire thread I say to myself if its allowed on here why not on table? Of course on here no one is being rude...they are being sarcastic, patronising, someone said stupid, insensitive but rude no way...No rudeness in this thread!!!!! Here we are just trying to gently put our point of view across to our fellow posters. On the bridge table heaven forbid we allow what AAr is suggesting but here...well here its not the table there we will never be patronising to our opps but here its different. Of course accuse anyone of even bordering on rudeness here I know someone will snap my head of cause really I bet no one thinks they are actually being rude! But...well read the whole thing and maybe....

Ahh well considering most of us are bridge freaks on here then surely we give extra brownie points for Roger Moore as Bond in Moonraker where he played that "deadly" bridge hand! http://www.bridgehands.com/D/Duke_of_Cumberland_Hand.htm

I must be a complete idiot and now I know I am. When I looked at the title I said to myself.....Hmmm a thread about latex - could it really be the one and only latex that I know of - How interesting I thought to myself and entered to find myself in a maze of theisis, mathematics and other stuff when all I was curious to find out was whether a new one was on the market that performed some miracle I was unaware of!!!!!! Curiosity will be the death of me one day and I promise I will never enter a thread that otherwise sounds interesting but at the end makes me realise what an idiot I really am. Honestly I always thought that all there was to computer knowledge was a knowledge of microsoft office and voila. Ahhh well

Dear Mr. Hrothgar, I cannot help but salute your latest post. It isnt often that I feel like a clot and perhaps inadvertently I poked my nose in here - But simply from your latest post I am glad I did so. Many times online we say and do things in the "heat of the moment" led partly by the fact that is a bit annoymous. It is, as you said both a minor point and done with an adrenaline rush. I must confess my posts were made in an abnormal heated moment also and I did myself and you an injustice by picking at those phrase that irritated me. By posting, as you did now, I can only applaud your sentiments. Truly there arent many posters who would bother to do so. I see that there were rights and wrongs on both sides and now out of the immediate heat of the moment both of us are calmer and speaking for myself I feel a bit foolish. Such is life - even though I dont know you it would be both an honour and a privilage to meet someone who has the courage and self confidence to make a post as you did. May I be allowed to retract and apologise for some of the out of context remarks I may have added. With much more respect and a feeling that all is not lost in the human race! I am proud to have encountered a bridge player and a gentleman as yourself regards

I find it amazing in this thread that there is any support for the behavior of the original poster. He started gloating from line one. He didn’t just beat his opps – In the round under question he “completely destroyed opps” –He calls his opponent “incompetent” next round he “squashed” the top seeds then he started lecturing the director implying that forget any issue his results speak for themselves. Further he told director not to “coddle such idiots”. When the opps exercised their rights and told the director they “whined”. Even the captain of his team in one of the early posts corrected the gross inaccuracies on reporting the directors behavior. Then in the next round he cant be “bothered” to meet his opps even though he is confident of “taking them” but doesn’t want to “waste” an afternoon doing so. I don’t know if there is a law against gloating (probably not) but certainly I take a moral stand against gloating and other negative behavior attributes that this poster obviously takes pride in and then saying it is the ACBL that is in a sad state. What is wrong if opps report your behavior and actions to the director. Does one have to cry over it. There was no penalty imposed no result was changed and a mere warning (totally justified in my view was given). The director was called, he evaluated the issues and he ruled. Poster is so horrified that someone dares to do this he comes and if you ask me starts “whining” in front of this forum. Read the original post carefully and then you tell me whether you would have fun with an opp like him. This game is social to a considerable extent. Sure it depends upon skill and upon a competitive element but there is a social side to it and players don’t like meeting an “unguided missile” when it comes to etiquette. A lesson I learned early in life – Don’t skirt the boundaries of good behavior and expect to leave without a reprimand. The tone of the original post itself calls the behavior part into question. This game is more than merely applying the laws it’s a game of decent human behavior and in my opinion the poster seems to have walked perilously close to the line. I didn’t call the opp an “ignorant lard ass” he goes on to say– well good but do you think not calling him that and implying that he is that in this post is of relevance to the issue. It speaks volumes about your behavior though. Heaven knows what else you “didn’t” tell him!!

a fellow called the hog asked me a few posts up whether i knew someone called richard. No hog I dont anyone by this name but do I have to. I certainly wont apologise for any of my comments esp when the capt of the original posters team seems to have agreed with the majority of what I stated. Mr Hog I dont need to know Riochard or take a basic course in english comprehension when I see someone being rude and obnoxious in a post like the poster was. Heaven knows who or what he is in real life. Yes Mr Hog, Mr Richard may be your friend and I appreciate you springing to his defence but read my lips I have no reason to apologise when I see someone posting like that. In addition nowhere in the rules of this forum do I read anything about having to understand basic english or be frightened of anyones reputation when I post. Please keep those rules (and comments) to yourself

What an opening post to this thread. And the title itself implying that this is reflective of the sad state of ACBL based on some issues that opps raised!!! What nerve to even suggest that!!!! The tone of the note makes me query hrothgars “innocent” remarks. See the upmanship come out – “we completed destroyed the opps” “regardless we squashed the No 1 seeds in the in the next round” (all of which to me is indicative of an attitude that I am invincible – everyone else listen to me). The opps “whined” to the director. My partner prefers a”stodgy” bid style. We reached the correct contract in a hand of 5 H but I wanted to open 4 H and I was right to think like that based on the result. To the director I respond that the opps lost by 60 IMPs so please it isn’t my bidding that is destructive? It would be better if director staff didn’t “coddle” such idiots. See the angst come out even in this note - He destroyed his opps, instead of answering the director he further told him I hammered those guys forget the issues just look at the results and anyway Mr director let me explain you your job and don’t coddle the opps but listen to invincible me. To our readers he informs us that he is very sure of taking care of the opps in the final “but would prefer not to waste his time” No I don’t think the incident was in any way reflective of the sad state of ACBL but may be reflective of the “fire” in Mr. Hrothgar. Why do folks get so hot n bothered if director is called upon them. Do you honestly feel Mr. Hrothgars that your opps did not see your extreme rudeness come out on the table. Do you think they would not be upset at that? I see it come out in your post and cannot but imagine that the same attitude and worse would have got exhibited on the table. There is perhaps no rule that a bridge player must be modest – But is there a rule that he has to be so “superior” to his opps and the director. Bottom line if you ask me the director got called on him and he is angry that directors can be called on “mighty him”. The director never changed anything of a single hand not one result. He merely cautioned him so what. Its difficult for a director to tell a player “change your overly aggressive personality” so he refrained from doing that but I am no director so don’t perhaps have the same limitations. I don’t know the state of health of ACBL but for sure it isn’t a sad state based on this note. Not so sure of the state of health of some of its members (I am just presuming hrothgar is a member).

What is wrong if microsoft or anyone is counting expenses. I mean my wife counts expenses and seems cool to me. She runs it past me I skim 15% for ciggies, liquor and all that. She is happy so am I....so whats the moral of the story ...we shouldnt count expenses..shouldnt charge 15% or next time she grumbles can I send her a 4 if statement. Am I the only one who thinks that I need admission to the nuthouse after reading that or am I missing something between the lines

impact appears to be zero?????? I didnt even read of this incident on here - I was first led to the incident NOT even on a bridge site. It made headline on a non bridge site that first alerted me to it - So I woudnt say it was zero. And the picture I saw on another site altogether - Another non bridge site http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...ess=389x2040421 Heres another headline from a site - I didnt even go to the link cause the headline read like this and was self explanatory Chimp Dissed By Women's Bridge Team - No medals for guessing the reference they were making there? So I wouldnt say it were zero. I dont want to publicise other bridge forums but there is one where there is a full scale brouhaha on this very subject itself on their forum. Everyone has piled on in that forum and it has had the most interactions and views relative to their site - Its not as big as BBO so naturally numbers cant be compared. No say what you want to and agree or dont agree with this subject but I wouldnt say the chatter of this subject is on this forum alone. Its making news elsewhere also in a loud manner. And news in non bridge forums. Bridge is hardly ever commented on in non bridge forums so when they start jabbering about it...need I say more

Correct it to Ask A Mom. Please dont say the folks we are talking us are also moms cause I mean ask a mom of a prior generation!!!!!!

"Pretty silly" someone said about examples and cases being cited and yes come on fellas some of them are. I mean guys whats happened to COMMON SENSE. Have we lost the ability to distinguish and perhaps just use our common sense. From examples of necklaces to signs of the cross......jeeeez. Come on if we want to think of ridiculous examples there is no end. You know none of you would have ever taken the podium and started doing a jig with a sign there and are now just clouding the issue and making me laugh! There is one end and one jury on what is right and wrong in cases like this I tell you and here is the acid test - Ask MY MOM. She will never get it wrong. Just uses what her mom taught her she says and she is bang on everytime. When I first told her about the war of words over this incident she just shook her head sadly. She wasnt too sad about the sign she says cause folks can get it wrong but the fact that anyone needs to debate a clearcut issue like that. You need lessons from my generation said she!!!! Tell em its a sign from my generation to yours she says and the initail signs aint so good she says!

What a forum , what a site and what participation – Unbelievable. I took a moment away from reading just to think of what this site means to me. Speaking as an ordinary bridge player I am struck wordless at the eminence of the crowd in here and the level of discussion. For a moment I forget whose side I am on in the current debate on in the water cooler. I just wanted to mention that never have I participated ever in my life where such a worldwide and eminent degree of participation exists. Through this thread and forum I have heard what my hero’s are saying – Yes gentlemen and ladies many of you are probably unknown to you all hero’s and heroines in your field. At least to me you are. Even though this is off topic in this thread I just wanted to say how fabulously amazed I am at the level of participation and the eminence of it. There are heads and high level officials of many bridge federation, there are a zillion of you who have represented many institutions and country’s even at very highest levels and I sometimes wonder if you realize the power of the forum and the site. The power of thought, of debate and of experience that you bring and open the eyes of a ordinary bridge player such as myself. I just wanted to comment on this aspect after reading the thread and the extremely appropriate comments of the head of the USB (even HE reads the forum!!! Wowww). It’s a gathering of unparalleled eminence and it is a privilege and honour for me just to read what you have to say. If I ever (well in my dreams) come to represent anything more than the poor lil social club I belong to my heart would burst with pride leave alone one’s country. I would say that this forum and site is truly the United Nation of bridge cept I daren’t really say that cause that will start a murderous chain of its own with everyone telling what an idiot I am for using the term United Nations and what a political thing that is and put me in front of a firing squad!!! I felt it just appropriate to mention how impressed an ordinary bridge player as me is and how dazzled I am at this discussion and I just wonder if you yourselves realize the power of this forum. And naturally well done Fred and all of you who have contributed to the making of this site as well as the level of thought and power of expression that you all bring on here. From an ordinary bedazzled bridge player – Thanks for just allowing me to read this stuff and hear you speak. pokerbids

I cannot imagine that this discussion is coming down to the fact now that posters at award cermonies perhaps should be allowed but the words should be better. Maybe I am old school on this - Its a ceremony. You represent your country. Why do anything controversial . any sign - end poverty, end land mines. end or start anything. It just expresses lack of grace, form, etiquette, good manners and everything else my parents taught me.

"by the way all automobiles and motorcycles MOTHER NATURE GAVE US FOR SHORT DISTANCE TRAVELLING." Shubi. Mother nature has started giving us us automobiles and motorcycles? Darwin's new theory of automation? And who on earth calls a speedometer an odometer - I must visit Canada and tell them if they want to catch drunk drivers put in an odourmeter!!!!

Huhhh no discussion on religon and races at our dining table - Jeeez then I will know what the sound of a pin dropping really is! I keep telling the wife if my horse had coming in at the races we would be celebrating immorally and would be dancing our way to the bank and she looks me over and says the way u dance and gamble is pretty similar and its called hopping on one leg - As regards compromise if I dont say the sorry word she says we will never get back together again so if there isnt any compromise shubi at our home I am afraid Mother Nature doesnt know the fury of my wife!

Screaming she said with 8 ever and nine never, Do that, or our relationship I will sever. Aces are meant to kill Kings and Queens, Don’t play as if you are from a can of baked beans. Yes darling I humbly said to her face, Lecherously I ogled her base. Now tell me of the squeeze said me, Aghast she yelled don’t u dare said she. That’s not what I meant I won’t squeeze those, All u men with sex u close. This is a game where you count said she, Hmmm I said I give you a perfect 10 says me. 10 is just average, we need 25 for game she said, And lecherous me I just dreamt of the bed. The game began and partners were we, Left and right she went for me. Go, learn and improve she yelled aloud, BBO will clear your mind of the bridge cloud. The BIL it is for you to enter, Maureen will soon find you a mentor. Aghast I said a beginner I am not, Yes she said you are a big clot. Sad to say that was my blind date, Aha and yes her name was Kate. Improve I did at BBO I mean, And a year later I returned big and mean. Today she really looks up to me, What should I have played now, says she! Humbly I lower my head, She knows that means I will tell her in bed! Don’t be aghast she is only my wife, And really is truly my life. Marriage is 7 NT for us, And its sure beats riding the bus.

/Five Weeks to winning Bridge - Alfred Sheinwold I read this all those years ago and heaven knows if it is still available. But it was so good I havent forgotten its simple lessons in years. Book is for the beginner and is divided into 35 days and starts by day 1 telling you how to deal. Day 35 is advanced squeeze techniques. Simple and effective for the person who wants to learn but even average players would benefit from the lessons after day 25 or so. Style of writing was very good.

Everyones sounds like Gods Warrior!

Hmmm...Now who does one trust.....FBI cant be - Even the honorable BBC cant be after all the brouhaha of how they run their game shows on TV and their own producers win the quiz and all the money. We all know we cant trust our bridge partner - They are the most untrusty beasts! The Spouse cant be trusted thats a known fact! I wouldnt trust my teenage son to come within a mile of my computer or wallet! Trusting ones boss is foolishness beyod compare! And dont ask one of us to trust our work colleagues - after all if they dont stab you in the back they think its a character flaw! Who does one trust? Good question!!!!